Lala, I think math and lagartija are right. I really recommend you read the following:
herbsandhags.blogspot.mx/2012/08/the-joy-of-single-motherhood-and-why.html
I think it might speak to you. This is a bit from it :
It never seems to occur to the people who write those articles, to urge men to stop being such unacceptable living companions that women can?t bear to tolerate living with them even for the sake of their incomes and the respectable status they confer on us; or to pay a proper amount of maintenance so that they don?t disadvantage their children (the majority of non-resident parents pay no maintenance and of those who do, the average sum is a woefully paltry amount). It also never occurs to them to campaign for workplaces to be adapted to the needs of all its workers, not just the ones without caring responsibilities, so that more lone parents can work in jobs which actually pay enough to meet living expenses; or to call on benefits to be higher to ensure that children of lone parents are not disadvantaged. No, the only solution they can see, is for men and women to stay together and role-model an unhappy relationship to their children.
Because that was the propaganda I?d heard all my life, I tried to hold the relationship together, before realising that I was the only one bothering to try to do that. Women are given the very clear message from when they are very young, that relationships are their business ? that they are responsible for working on them. Look at magazines aimed specifically at boys and men versus those aimed specifically at girls and women. It?s immediately obvious who has been appointed the guardian of the Sacred Relayshunship, where the onus lies, on keeping it healthy, happy and alive.
For years, I didn?t notice that I was the only one working on making this relationship work, because that was the natural order of things. Women?s time, our energy, our focus, is directed towards making relationships work, because to break up a relationship, even where there are no children involved, is sold to us as a really big deal. We aren?t told that every day, we should ask ourselves why we are continuing to be in this relationship; we are told that every day, we should do something to maintain it without asking why. Breaking it up is seen as a frivolous, immature, flaky sort of way of carrying on ? the sign of someone with ?ishoos?, someone who is afraid of commitment, has psychological problems, can?t maintain a relationship because they are somehow damaged or wrongly-wired.
I had fallen for all those lies, so of course I went into denial about the fact that I was horribly unhappy in the relationship I had. That is the most common self-defence women have in unhappy relationships: pretend it?s not ?as bad as all that?. They compare the relationships that other women have with the men they live with, with their own relationship, instead of comparing their relationships to that of the men they actually live with. So for ages ? weeks, months, years ? women don?t notice that they are the only ones doing the emotional work of the relationship ? the attempts to make everyone happy, to balance everyone?s needs, to ensure that the family unit runs as smoothly as possible. The effort of doing this, is immense; when you let it go, it?s like putting down an enormous burden that you hadn?t realised you were carrying. The day my ex left, I put on loud music and danced around the kitchen while I cleaned it.