Separation & beyond.. Lala goes forth!!!

[LalaDipsey]

Hi everyone. Well, the saga continues. H turned up for his single 'abuse assessment session' on Monday to find that the counsellor had, by mistake, booked him in for Wednesday instead of Monday! I was fuming!
I spoke to them and said it may just be one more week to them, but to me I had mentally psyched myself up for H to have this DV assessment and was then ready for a session this Monday coming either together or on my own. Nothing could be done but I was gutted as I had hoped us to be significantly further along by next week and now we won't be.
On the plus side, night 3 of sleep training tonight so hoping for a massive improvement.
Had no idea what to call this thread... Felt this was still the right place as I extricate us from this relationship but I hope by the time this reaches 1000 posts H has either moved out, or is living here whilst the divorce is being processed so I hope the title sums that up!!
Thanks for everyone still with me

[Rolopolo2000]

OP.. so random but I thought if you last night!

How are things?

[Jokat]

Lala has started a new thread:
here

[Highlander]

Please check in, Lala.

[legoqueen]

Hope you & your DCs are doing okay, Lala...

[MysteriousHamster]

Still thinking of you Lala and hoping you're okay. No judgement, just concerns.

[wheredidiputit]

Lala Hope you're having a nice Mothers Day.

If you have a moment could you please let know if you are ok.

[hillyhilly]

I've been keeping an eye out for you too lala and hoping that all's well.

[wheredidiputit]

Is everything ok Lala.

If you have time can your just pop in and let us know your ok even if he still at home.

[MysteriousHamster]

Bump for Lala, hope you're okay.

[chezziejo]

Hi lala how are you? Hope your getting on ok.

[MrsHoolie]

Hi Lala....how are you?

[wheredidiputit]

How you getting on Lala.

Has he found somewhere to live yet.

[Repetitiverobot]

Hi Lala, hope you're all doing ok. We're all still here thinking of you. x

[blackcurrants]

hi lala, happy new life
hope you and your lovely DCs are doing well. i mainlylurk but wanted you to know i am cheering you on x

[wheredidiputit]

Hope you ok and the freedom programme is going well.

How is your H getting on with finding somewhere to live.

[FiercePanda]

Well done Lala, you're doing well. Keep being firm with him re moving out, he'll string it out as long as he can ("waaaaaaaaah I can't find anywhere!" etc) but you don't have to listen to it. It's nearly February already, he's had plenty of time doing bugger-all, it's time he looked properly.

I really hope the Freedom Programme helps you find the emotional strength and confidence H has sapped from you over the years.

[Aussiebean]

Hi lala. Fingers and toes crossed that things progress quickly for you. Things have been so hard and I am glad you now have some direction.

X

[wheredidiputit]

Lala

Given the freedom programme a go. There is more types of abuse other hitting.

[LalaDipsey]

Plodding along really. Am chivvying him along to find somewhere. He hasn't drunk since nye and is being great, but if anything that's strengthening my resolve as I could have had this (a helpful, participative H) for the past year had he chosen but he didn't, he has chosen to be alcoholic, absent & abusive.
I start the Freedom Programme today. Am worried I will feel like a fraud as H has never beaten me up and the odd incident with dc have been spaced out and a long time ago now.

[MysteriousHamster]

How's it going, Lala?

[mathanxiety]

Yes indeed Cornish. These things are not unknown at all.

[hillyhilly]

Happy new year lala, you're still doing well.

[LalaDipsey]

I did manage to talk a little last night - reiterated I wanted to separate and him to move out and that we needed to start talking practicalities (ie if he moves into unfurnished what stuff he needs).
I cried (damn it) but at least we moved past that pretty quickly!

[CornishMade]

A friend of mine left her abusive marriage where the H had had very little input in the 2 dcs lives, and yet he suddenly was fighting for custody. It is done out of anger, pride, and spite once they realise they are no longer running your life. They want to control and can't let go. Friend's exH said himself that he wanted to make her life as miserable as he could. So please be prepared for this scenario. And tell him the holiday dates by email, I agree, so that he can't claim you were hiding anything.

[dippyDoohdah]

if he did ever mention custody I think it would just be a way to frighten and control you.his comment was, as another poster said, a machismo flailing dig, I don't think it was anything more, but agree with Farley, it is still best to be forearmed with legal advice regarding all possible scenarios