womens attitudes to crossdressing

[calikid]

hi everyone,

i write this as a response to the numerous comments on a variety of posts regarding reaction to any stories where crossdressing is a subject. Firstly i'd like to make it clear that i am male and as such appreciate i may be laying myself bare to the onslaught of comment that is likely to come my way. although male i love to wear "womens clothes". What I would like to know is simply why shouldn't I. can anyone give me one valid reason why I shouldn't? because I have never been able to think of one.
I am happily married with two dds and a beautiful wife , all of whom i love very much. My wife knows all about my dressing and has been with me to a couple of tv gatherings. i told her not long after we got together and she was totally fine with it, we have been married now for 8 yrs. we do not let the children know as they are still quite young.
In all other respects I am very much one of the lads......I like football and beer (but then so do many women!), i work in construction, I teach martial arts, I help with housework , I don't mind ironing(coz i can do it while watching tv!)
I take a size 10 and look pretty good in a skirt and heels, but then so does my wife, its just she can do it whenever she pleases and good for her. its just the injustice and ignorance of society that infuriates me.
I'm curious to know how the rest of women feel about the issue

I guarantee that if it was widely accepted that men could wear whatever they wanted there would be alot less dressing up to appear like women and furthermore there would be less male to female transgendering.
as it is there is approximately 4 times male to female as female to male, and this is predominantly due to the acceptance of women in any type of outfit as opposed to the limitations placed upon men by society.

Ignorant in the extreme calikid... Men don't have sex changes so they can 'legitimately' wear a skirt...

If you like skirts and aren't trying to look like a woman why not just wear a kilt? They come in plain colours as well as tartan. I do find the sexual frisson men get from wearing "feminine" clothes a bit creepy though. I don't dress in trousers to get sexually excited, most Scots don't get excited wearing their kilts. Cross dressing does seem to have more in common with the fetish brigade than they like to admit.

I agree, 2rebecca. Wearing a kilt/skirt, fine. Do it!

But the sexual frisson should be private.

Also, I kind of get the feeling that the OP gets a frisson from this thread, somehow. Which is what makes me uncomfortable about it.

It certainly isn't a cd man making bold positive statements - there is another quality to his posts.....

And I am in favour of people dressing as they wish, as long as they aren't making unwitting strangers witnesses in a sexual ritual of some kind.

I find your stance that women have to accept a CD partner very uncomfortable. No person has to be in a relationship they don't want, for any reason big or small.
I don't understand why you're so angry and blaming women for making their own relationship choices. You seem very misogynistic. Your wife is happy for you to CD, why isn't that enough? Why imply women who don't want that quality in a partner are bad people?

Really, other than the fact you're extremely angry and rude, your posts haven't 'educated' me at all. In fact, most of them have been very ignorant.

The op of this thread is simply another flavour of attention seeking internet sprite

Every time the thread dies, up the sprite pops...

"I think keeping it from the children is reasonable given that the world is full of fuckwitted mundanes who want to attack anything that doesn't fit in with their narrow definition of normal, so the child whose parent does something a big unusual might be bullied; it's reasonable to want to protect a child from that by being discreet."

well said Solidgold., thats exactly the point i continually make.

Offred said.."Ignorant in the extreme calikid... Men don't have sex changes so they can 'legitimately' wear a skirt..." sorry to disappoint you but the facts are there. There are far more mtf than ftm sex changes. The basic reason for this is that in our "advanced" society is is much more acceptable for women to assume male clothing and behaviour traits than viceversa. and agree or not, sartorial freedom is a major part of this. and whilst the wearing of womens clothing may not be the the only factor, in alot of cases it can well be the major catalyst and as a result of the fact that society doesn't accept it, (as we can see from alot of the negativity on these posts) the other route to acceptance is to increase the appearance to appear more like a woman. ie wig, bra padding , full make up etc, in an attempt not to be read when out. and this in some cases can then lead to final transition for many other reasons. What i am saying is that if society was more accepting at the initial stage then may more of those who continue down this path probably would not. the vast majority of cds are heterosexual and would probably be much happier to remain as men but have the freedom to dress as they please.

special agent..........i'm not saying that women should should stay in any relationship at any cost. what i am saying is that relationships often suffer more from the secrecy and mistrust created by not being open from an earlier stage in a relationship. for a woman to find out a secret years into a relationship can be much more damaging than the secret itself, especially if discovered by accident. the fear for men however , is the potential rejection that discovery can bring which leads to the secrecy in the first place.
this is beginning to change, with more men being open to their partners early on. and obviously this can benefit both parties. I for one, and many others i have talked to, have said that they wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who couldn't accept them as they are.

anyfucker........what nonsense, how on earth to you equate a discussion on an anonymous online forum with attention. I actually find it hard work continually explaining and contesting alot of the posts thrown up here!

"And I am in favour of people dressing as they wish, as long as they aren't making unwitting strangers witnesses in a sexual ritual of some kind."

Lemon, i'm glad you agree with the freedom for people to dress as they wish. Its the additional suggestion that we are somehow ensnaring others into some sort of sexualised game that i find uncomfortable. these are the ideas that perpetuate the negativity and predjudice against an otherwise benign activity.

that said, i likewise don't agree with seeing anyone, male or female, in public dressed in an inappropriate manner, and can understand your reticence, but this should equally apply to both genders

can anyone tell me how to copy in italics the post of anyone person, as i continually have to do it manually, and its a bit of a pain

Wow... Jeez...

Fairenuff..

"You are starting from the premise that 'women' object to you wearing a skirt or dress. Where have you got this from? Have you ever been out just wearing a dress without the wig, bra, heels etc. If so, who has objected? Just women, or men too. Which men? Just random men in the street or the men you socialise with?"

I don't assume that all women object. what i do suggest is that many women do, based upon uninformed prejudices. Equally many women couldn't give a monkeys. but what thet concern for many cds is that the woman they may want to have a relationship with is in the former and if its a deal breaker then they will end up being secretive and thus leading to the inherent problems down the line.

Yes i have been out without bra and wig on many occasions. although i always like to wear some type of heel, but on occasion have done so without aswell.

Objections have come from both men and women. probably more so from younger men and some younger females. however, as this is a predominantly female forum it is the attitudes of women upon which we have been concentrating. this, i feel is important as it is with women the majority of heterosexual cds will be forming relationships.

you make a good point re tatoos, and i agree that stereotypes are a result of reading a book by its cover!

FFS, why do women have to want to have relationships with CDs? Lots of women wouldn't consider a tall/short/ginger/blonde/glasses wearer. Why is it such an issue? Seriously? Why are you not going after the men who react badly? Why are you so desperate that women should be forced to find cd attractive if they don't? The way you dress, even if you "don't always wear a bra" is downright offensive to many women. With good reason too, as we have repeatedly explained... I'm beginning to think you really are just a very insecure misogynist behind all the not so convincing hype.

And I mean you specifically and NOT other men who wear skirts. The dressing yourself up as a parody, that you DO do... Don't give a shit if you don't wear a bra all the time... FGS...

Wow. Is this thread still going? It's really not THAT interesting a topic, is it? I do speak from exceedingly personal experience, too! I can't honestly believe that there can be much more to be said on it after 732 posts? Or maybe you're just not hearing it, OP.

AnyFuckers Every time the thread dies, up the sprite pops... just about sums it up?

Self-indulgence isn't an attractive characteristic. Give it a rest, OP...

Yeah, you have a problem OP. And it's nothing to do with wanting to wear a dress.

I don't assume that all women object. what i do suggest is that many women do, based upon uninformed prejudices. Equally many women couldn't give a monkeys. but what thet concern for many cds is that the woman they may want to have a relationship with is in the former and if its a deal breaker then they will end up being secretive and thus leading to the inherent problems down the line.

I think here you are lumping together woman's attitudes to CDs in general, with woman's attitudes towards a CD as a partner/husband.

Two entirely different things. I honestly don't mind what you wear. I don't object at all. However if my DH started wearing women's clothes it would put me off him. Bluntly speaking. Not because i am 'prejudiced', or 'don't understand'. Not because i think it means he is gay. But frankly in the first place because i think he'd look an idiot and that would undermine our relationship. There'd be deeper reasons too.

Also,

There are far more mtf than ftm sex changes. The basic reason for this is that in our "advanced" society is is much more acceptable for women to assume male clothing and behaviour traits than viceversa.

I'm no expert on the subject but i would say that the acceptability (or lack of it) in society of men wearing women's clothes can in no way be pronounced 'a basic reason' for lots of men having sex changes. (Thereby hinting that the 'blame' is partly the fault of the partner, too) Even i know there is a million more sensitive and complicated reasons for a man to want to physically change into a woman than fancying wearing a skirt!

(Copy and paste then add a ^ at each end for italics, btw)

Look, OP, you are just a bloke that likes wearing dresses. You are not the first, you won't be the last

Why do you think your thoughts on the matter are at all original, or even interesting ?

offred, just because youve had bad experiences of men doesn't mean we are all misogynist !

fluffy'

you are underlining part of my basic argument.

"Not because i think it means he is gay. But frankly in the first place because i think he'd look an idiot and that would undermine our relationship."

He'd look an idiot?? therein lies part of my argument! you are making the initial argument that the mere wearing of a type of clothing makes a person look idiot!! don't you see the irrationale in that assumption. and is this not a feeble reason for the undermining of a relationship.

If a man was to suggest that a woman looked idiotic in a trouser suit he'd be declared insensitive, sexist, misogynistic etc.

double standards or what!

what are you so afraid of? I get the general impression that there is a fear that you as the partner would be equally villified and ridiculed because of the choices of your partner bt friends family and society and this is would be too much to bear.

i'm not saying that women should agree to this but i think you should look deeper at the reasoning for your own reactions and not just use feeble arguments as to why you wouldn't like it an be more honest with your contribution to the situation.

offred............why on earth do you find my dressing dowright offensive as you put it? on one hand the argument is that you don't give a shit and we can wear what we want, then its offensive. make your mind up

This has been going for almost a year.

A YEAR.