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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - All Going On A Sober Holiday! <crosses fingers that it stays sunny>

999 replies

Mouseface · 25/07/2012 12:56

Hello, tis me, mouse Smile

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus, grab yourself a seat, they're really comfy and a Brew, oh and a home-made chocolate chip Biscuit before they all get eaten!

We're a Bus full of alcohol abusers/addicts, some of us say it out loud, some whisper it and some aren't ready to say it at all just yet.

That said, there are a few of us who just have the occasional drink and that's something that they can handle. There are a few of us who must NEVER have another drink because that first one will lead to many, many more which will only ever end badly.

We're open to all....there are no requirements to join us on our journey to sobriety, there's support, great laughs, tears and tantrums here and that's just me!!! Grin

If you'd like to see how we got here, follow THIS LINK

OP posts:
Mouseface · 29/07/2012 13:40

Koti - my real trigger was being pissed out of my head and having been sent to be by DH, Nemo had woken crying so I went to and pick him up to try to soothe him. DH came in, took him out of my arms, looked at me and said go back to bed and turned his back on me.

That was the most hurtful thing anyone could have done or said to me at that time, at that very moment in my life. I hated him. I screamed at him to give me MY son back. I was utterly vile to him. Blush

There were lots of other 'things' leading up to that, I blocked out on the toilet and smashed my face, came round on the floor freezing and covered on bruises and a split chin.

I've embarrassed myself for years. I've put my life and others in danger so many times that if I had to go and watch it all, see it with sober eyes, it would be utterly gutted and that's just the bits I do remember.

Like Saf said, it's the denial, the 'oh I don't have a drinking problem, I enjoy a drink in the day at 11am is all' Hmm

I put my son's life at risk. I put my own life at risk, my marriage, my relationship with my DD. She saw me pissed more times than sober and that is a memory that I can NEVER take away from her. Sad

OP posts:
Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 29/07/2012 13:40

Hi kotinka, I'm going to stay away from booze for a bit. Controlled drinking is fine for a few days, then the wheels fall off...

I'm also going to try and get in touch with an old AA friend I bumped into last week. She gave me a phone number but it's not working :( I'll try and get in touch via the AA helpline.

Hi LRD hope you're having a good day?

ruralreynard · 29/07/2012 13:41

Crawls on board, hides under the front seat as can't get any further.

Feeling to much liked fried dog shite to say much at the moment.
Felt I had to post the truth now before I either went into hiding and stopped
posting at all or just pretended I didn't drink yesterday (dumb or what!!!)

Got invited to a barbecue, don't get out much so wanted to go.
Decided I would drink but just a 2 or 3 glasses to relax.

Actually ende up drinking a bottle of wine.
Did stop at that, wine was flowing and I could have carried on.
Left went straight to bed. On the positive side last night was first full nights sleep Ive had all week.
Was it worth it NO. At this moment feel like I drank at least three times as much as I did. Oh ny head, my. stomach, by body.
That boxer MIFLAW talked about has beaten me to a pulp.

Well done to all who resisted last night.
Will read back and talk again when I feel better.xx

kotinka · 29/07/2012 13:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fairenuff · 29/07/2012 13:54

The weight thing kotinka if you want to lose I'll let you know what I did in case it's of any help.

Take your weight today and convert it into lbs. Then times it by thirteen.

That number is the number of calories you can eat in a day to maintain your weight.

So if you were 10 stone, that would 10 x 14(lbs) = 140lbs

140 x 13 = 1820

So if you want to maintain weight you should eat 1820 calories per day.

3,500 calories is equal to 1lb. So if you overeat by 3,500 calories you will gain a pound. If you undereat by 3,500 calories you will lose a pound.

My daily allowance is roughly 2,000 calories. When I diet I try to stick to 1,000 calories a day, thereby 'banking' 7,000 calories a week which is 2lb.

Over the last year or so I have lost 2 stone by calorie counting. A bottle of white wine is about 500-600 calories so there is no way I can drink and lose weight.

Dieting gave me another focus. I stopped drinking, started eating really low fat, healthy food and got a bit more exercise. It stopped being all about the drink and more about a whole lifestyle change

I am now able to have a few drinks occasionally but often I choose not to. The same way as I might have cake occasionally but often I choose not to.

At the start I had to cut out the drinking first. It was the only thing that worked for me.

Just thought I'd share that as an added incentive to kick the booze. It's so worth it. Even if you turn to food, ice cream, chocolate, whatever. Tackle one thing at a time, then move onto the next.

MIFLAW (there he is again) always used to say, deal with things in the order in which they are killing you. Sound advice.

kotinka · 29/07/2012 13:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 29/07/2012 13:59

I am, thanks, sunny. Smile

Hope you manage to reach AA/your mate ... chat here if not?

kot, about the weight - something I noticed last year was I didn't really lose much weight, but I lost a lot of inches round my waist. I don't know if that's only alcohol-related as I know people have said similar when they eat more healthily (and obviously cutting down alcohol is part of that). So maybe it's worth measuring your waist too, in case you're like me and end up grumbling at the scales that not much is changing, only to find that you are changing shape if not weight.

rural - good on you for stopping! Hope today is treating you gently.

guggenheim · 29/07/2012 15:24

Hi,

Hope you are enjoying the afternoon- it's just started to thunder here!

Faire I'm going to work out my calories after your explanation, I'm not going to to post the results on here though! Grin

I can't say that I had a specific moment that propelled me towards giving up up / cutting down but I had definitely been looking for help for a long time. I'd looked at the drinkaware site but really didn't find it helpful other than that it made me cross when it told me that I was drinking too much. How very dare it? FFS.

My DH is ace,my life is good I have a DS who we waited a very long time for and I would do anything for. I needed IVF to get pg. So I suppose that being infertile has forced me to confront my drinking;I was worried that it might be a factor in not conceiving and when we became eligible for treatment I cut back. I abstained all the time I was pg and breastfeeding- so yeah, having DS sort of make me think about my drinking.

Obvs, I went right back to it as soon as I stopped bf Hmm He's 2 3/4 now so I've been drinking again for 2 years. bollocks.

I really didn't want to tackle my drinking until recently and I had no idea how to go about it. Very glad I've found the bus.

Think I'll stop talking now- give everyone's 'ears' a rest !

Silver66 · 29/07/2012 15:36

Tinka

you are not 'giving up' drinking - you are gaining your life back - your self respect, your confidence, your looks, your health, your family, everything.

I used to be so scared of never drinking again, but now I am looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to being the person that I am, the real me, not the alcohol addled wreck that this poison has turned me into.

do you see what I am trying to say - your life will be immesurably better...listen to those that have gained everything from not picking up.

The evidence is right in front of your face, on this bus.

JWN is the living proof that life is amazing without alcohol. Have you read the thread back from the beginning - follow her story and believe that you can have all that too.

One day at a time Smile

Fairenuff · 29/07/2012 15:48

Great post Silver Smile

JarethTheGoblinKing · 29/07/2012 15:51

Allo you lot - long time since I've posted on any of these, how are you all.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 29/07/2012 16:00

Hi jareth! Good to 'see' you.

guggen - that was a great post, don't apologize for it like that!

I agree with silver, it's so good to look forward and think what's in the future. But when it's scary, I also like saying 'today, I'm not drinking'. It makes it more manageable to think about today. Then the next day. I'm certainly at the stage of getting through it one day at a time right now.

Every day you get through is giving your body a chance to reset itself, giving your liver a chance to repair, letting your skin clear, and getting you used to not drinking loads of carb calories. So doing it one day at a time is still clocking up 24 hours of good stuff for your body every time you get through another day.

That helps me to think, anyhow (she says, scoffing the icecream Hmm Grin)

Fairenuff · 29/07/2012 16:03

Absolutely LRD. 'One day' has got me through a hell of a lot of days tbh. That's all I think of. Thinking that you might never drink again is quite a scary thought. But the beauty of One Day is that you don't have to think like that.

In fact, I actually usually just do 'right now'. As in, I'm not going to drink right now.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 29/07/2012 16:03
Grin
LRDtheFeministDragon · 29/07/2012 16:06

Yeah, 'right now' works for me!

I do know that for me personally, I need eventually to move over to silver's 'never' because I know what happened when I stopped finding 'one day at a time' a struggle and let myself start thinking I could afford to drink again. But I'm hoping when I get a bit further on I can turn to you lovely babes to tell me how to do that.

How are things with you, jareth?

swallowedAfly · 29/07/2012 16:11

kotinka - not drinking at all. given up on pretending i can control alcohol - i'm an alcoholic and accepting that has been a massive relief for me and made the future look bright for the first time in a very long time Smile

my life is honestly so much better.

faire - interesting - i just worked out my calories. the idea of eating 1000 a day makes me want to cry though! Grin i have leveled out at about a stone heavier than i was before i stopped drinking - it could be much worse tbf given the amount of ice cream and chocolate i've consumed in the last few months. am hoping that just being a bit more active and eating a bit less crap will be enough to slowly reverse things. hard as it was for me it was necessary to forget about weight and body obsessions and focus on the booze as priority.

crazy weather day - went and watered at my mum's, came back and right on cue out of nowhere the heavens opened for torrential rain for half an hour. now it's all sunny and like nothing happened.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 29/07/2012 17:06

Much better than the last time I was on these threads. I'm on day 5 Grin

JarethTheGoblinKing · 29/07/2012 17:07

I'm with you LRD - one day at a time at the moment.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 29/07/2012 17:10

Ooh, I'm just a step behind you! kot and I are on day 4. How's the view from up there? Grin

guggenheim · 29/07/2012 17:54

Hi,

I'm on day 3 and not wavering, I'm pleased 'cos this time last week I wasn't sure that I would manage to abstain again.I feel and look loads better already.

One day at a time for me too- might have that tatooed on me bum!

Rural hope you are recovering Smile but I think you made it to 6 days before drinking? By my standards that is pretty fine.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 29/07/2012 18:01
Grin

Got very very drunk on Tuesday evening and finally, finally got that that certain state of mind and thought 'enough is enough'.

One day at a time (and a fuck tonne of fizzy water)

Silver66 · 29/07/2012 18:18

do you know what is so brilliant about this thread?

we come back to it time and time again

we try to stop drinking

we succeed in stopping drinking

we fail in stopping drinking

we try again

we don't post when we are drinking

but it is the first place that we come back to when we try to stop again.

How feckin amazing is that?

That a thread on the internet can be so powerful.

Or, rather, that so many women (and "where the fek are you MIFLAW" man)
have empowered themselves JUST by talking and sharing the load.

it blows me away.

and JWN if you are reading, you old tart, I bet you never thought your first post would lead to this Grin xxxxxxx

dementedma · 29/07/2012 18:23

Struggling today.have been good with diet - chicken and veg for dinner, no carbs, then a low fat frozen yoghurt thing, but am craving a glass of white wine. grrrrrr

swallowedAfly · 29/07/2012 18:34

impressed with everyone's food discipline.

today i have had: a croissant with raspberry conserve. dandelion leaf, lettuce, cucumber, apple, carrot, ginger, lemongrass and garlic juice. dry roasted peanuts. chocolate ice cream.

i'm guessing i have the worst diet on here Smile

yes silver, it's good to see people always feel safe to come back and grab a hand or two.

swallowedAfly · 29/07/2012 18:36

ma - it could just be a sugar craving if you're not used to low carbs. if it comes to it a little snack with sugar or carbs in it will be better (and lower caloried) than ending up downing a bottle of wine that may well follow the one glass idea.