The Brave Babes Battle Bus - All Going On A Sober Holiday! <crosses fingers that it stays sunny>

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, mouse

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus, grab yourself a seat, they're really comfy and a , oh and a home-made chocolate chip before they all get eaten!

We're a Bus full of alcohol abusers/addicts, some of us say it out loud, some whisper it and some aren't ready to say it at all just yet.

That said, there are a few of us who just have the occasional drink and that's something that they can handle. There are a few of us who must NEVER have another drink because that first one will lead to many, many more which will only ever end badly.

We're open to all....there are no requirements to join us on our journey to sobriety, there's support, great laughs, tears and tantrums here and that's just me!!!

If you'd like to see how we got here, follow THIS LINK

saf thanks for your comments. I can clearly see that what you said makes sense and I'm being really stupid. I'm scared about what the doctor is going to say to me. I think that's why I'm in denial.

koti slight setback doesn't sound too bad - hugs for your sad face tho.

I'm doing fine this week ..no mental cravings and seems like my brain is accepting the no drinking through the week ok for now. Very well aware that this can be deceptive and it's easy to slip backwards (done that many times before).

Are there many people on here who have truly conquered "normal drinking" ?

This is my third week of only drinking on Saturday nights but I'm not sure how I want this to go in the future. Just thinking day at a time right now.

I already feel loads better and I've been eating heathily and have lost half a stone

thank you for the advice faire and soma and venus I am feeling pretty sorry for myself this morning and need a kick up the bum. Cross that I had wine last night, confused about whether my aches this morning are due to a hangover or CFS or something else, frustrated that I didn't get a lie-in on my day off, general self-pity!

Don't seem to have the energy/willpower to help myself. Okay, c'mon lassie out of your pyjamas at least...

Hi. I have been following this thread for a while now and I haven't had any alcohol for 5 days now. I decided to give up as I was starting to hit the wine heavy every night. 1-2 bottles a night with some lager on top for the past 3 weeks. Going to Paris during that time didn't help either.
I've always been a bit of a big drinker and the only time I stopped was when I was pregnant. I think it's boredom more than anything else. We moved here about 5 years ago and we (DH and I) don't have any friends, only work colleagues. DH like a drink but isn't a heavy drinker at all. In fact, he rarely drank until he met me. I have pear cider in the house but haven't been tempted so far. I can't stop eating junk though. My crisp addiction is definitely getting worse

Hi Haribo and welcome

I'm really new on here and still working out whether I want / need to stop completely or just cut right back.

Well done on 5 days are you starting to feel better for it?

Yes, lellipops I am although I'm very tired all the time at the moment. I love waking up with a clear head and feeling fresher. The longer I go without alcohol the more I would be disappointed in myself if I had a drink so that is spurring me on at the moment. I have to say that working at night on weekends is also a major help

welcome haribo, it sounds like you are doing very well. Boredom is a factor, as Barbara Vine (of all people!) wrote in a novel 'Alcohol doesn't take away the boredom. It just gives you something else to focus on, like staying upright or trying to have a conversation'

Hi everyone and welcome Haribo
Im with you koti day 1.
I haven't managed to get past day one since Saturday.
Things are not good at home and upset/stress is obviously my biggest trigger.
Think I feel a bit like you joey but for different reasons.
Am really going to try to get through today without drinking.

See you later babesxx

Haribo yes I can imagine the nights at weekends is helpful for this purpose (bloody knackering tho I bet!). My b/f works nights Mon to Fri and never has a drink during the week. He's a heavy drinker on the weekend and on holiday and I suspect he would be more often if not for night shift.

joey love the Barbara Vine quote. I think I've been using booze to alleviate so called boredom in the past but really there is so much else I can do if I can think, walk and talk straight. Was just thinking last night how much I'm enjoying reading in bed...and remembering what I've read!

ruralreynard meant to say earlier thanks for the welcome . Sorry you're struggling right now and hope things improve soon.

koti ahh yes that kind of slight setback..I know all about those! Makes you feel so crap afterwards doesn't it? You were doing so well tho so you know you can do it. Also: curses on those "free glasses of wine with meal" deals.

Been thinking how much pressure there is around all of us these days to drink. Advertising, friends, family ....etc. Well stuff that! We are all strong individuals with all sorts of pressures in life that we cope with. So we can give this one a kick up the jacksy and make our own mind up what we do or do not drink. So there!

Just checking in, Day 10 here and the desire to have a drink this evening is strong, my youngest daughter passed her Leaving Certificate today which I am absolutely delighted about, but the strange part is the words "bottle of wine" keep resonating in my head (since 10am, and I am resisting telling myself that I will not have a drink tonight if that makes sense?

Hi obrigada 10 days is brilliant..well done. Do you think that your strong desire to drink wine is heightened by the "need" to celebrate with alcohol? It's so ingrained in our society isn't it? Can you celebrate with something else?

The desire for wine is definitely heightened by the "need" to celebrate "Lelli", am trying to think of alternate ways to celebrate but brain deliberately not coming up with ideas

Hi babes this is a quicky since I am toddler wrangling at the mo. Have to play sodding trains but I'm coming back to chat when dh gets home.

obrigda 10 days is ace, don't cave in now. For me one night's drinking would lead , well does lead, to a big lapse and it takes a long time to recover the ground lost. Not worth it!

Right day 4 for me and I'm not drinking today.

obrigada agree with lelli is there another way of celebrating? Like a favourite film, giant tub of ice-cream, maybe the 2 of you could book a girls spa day...

I am bored, fed up, depressed - but managed to go shopping and not buy wine. Friday will be a family get-together, and I would like a drink then but don't have the energy to plan how to control it/manage it. One day at a time.

Got a GP appointment with the first doctor who suggested CFS (I think the low Vitamin D is a red herring) next week; its not till after my appraisal. Not sure how to tackle this, really feel I can't bothered. I have to face up to things instead of just hiding.

obrigada - mummy getting pissed is not much of a well done for her really is it? think of it that way maybe.

i've lost the plot. felt really weird and angsty and i don't know... triggered earlier and needed to DO something very physical. ended up starting ripping up the carpet in the living room/diner. so hope i don't regret it. no mean feat given all the furniture. have been hulking stuff around and taking up sections with the help of a stanley knife. seriously went into crazy woman mode. the carpet has been driving me mad for some time tbf so hopefully i won't regret it. have about 3/4 of it up and stashed in the downstairs toilet. more to do tomorrow but need to get bathed and ready to go to meeting.

have also been stripping wallpaper. think i was just so sick of that room being a state and realistically just tearing stuff down and out is probably the best way of committing to sorting it. fuck it. better that than a drink and i could feel myself wanting to drown the feelings in a drink.

i need to keep standing up to that voice and telling it to fuck the fuck off. feelings, problems, messy houses, finances, life CAN be sorted. the answer is not found in switching off the worries about these things by getting pissed. you sober up and all the shit is exactly where you left it and you have even less will power, energy or spirit to deal with it.

saf it sounds to me like you have a brilliant coping strategy there ... go crazy woman!

thanks lelli.

there's more of my mad rant i'm afraid.

am realising that a lot of my problems and my drinking was about feeling helpless and powerless and like there was nothing i do to change anything or make it better so all i could do was try and make poor little me feel better. any problem looked like a mountain that i couldn't possibly move and totally overwhelmed me and feeling overwhelmed and like these huge problems were pressing in on me was awful and needed drowning out.

i know the fatigue and depression won't have helped that but they don't abdicate me of all responsibility either.

think i might have gotten to the crux of my drinking - it was me fixing my feelings instead of fixing the problems my feelings were about maybe.

right, will shut up now. sorry for the me, me, me crazy lady rantings.

Wow saf that's very powerful and inspiring. I massively identify with a lot you say and would like to thank you for sharing that.

Please don't shut up ..or apologise. I found that really helpful.

koti I am ignoring the wine witch so far. She is calling strongly though.
You asked earlier if I could talk about my upset/stress, I could but it would probably fill up this thread and the next. I realise now that many people on this thread have problems much worse than mine. I am a very shy person but your interest in my stress deserves some sort of reply. Here goes:
I live in an emotional abusive relationship. I don't need the threads on here related to that to know that my NSDH emotionally abuses me. I drink to escape from RL AND RL is for me constant emotional abuse. However I have decided to stay and try to live with it in the short term, mainly because he is a good dad to our DS, my youngest son 10 yrs and DS would be devastated if we split. i know i've tried. Therefore I am trying to control my drinking in the confines of this relationship. This relationship did not start my heavy drinking but I think it is a big contributor to it spiralling out of control.
At the end of the day I have to stop or control my drinking if i want to stay alive to see youngest DS become an independent adult. My drinking is one thing that is in my control and if I fail to control it within the relationship I will have to think again. THAT TERRIFIES ME.
Sorry for the me me me post babes, some sort of floodgates opened

koti I am going to keep telling the wine witch to f*k the f*k off. Thanks for being so kind. I hope your children are sleeping and you are enjoying a stress free evening.
Your questions well I could go on for hours but yes he calls me fat and useless. He gives me an allowance for shopping and demands receipts to see what I have bought. He works full time and when he comes home his first words are always criticism of me, such as you haven't hoovered, wheres my dinner, where have you been today (this being to find out if I have spent money in a shop). oH I,m doing me me me again.

rural this bus is a lovely, safe place to share your concerns and worries. You can use all the support and strategies you learn here to get yourself where you want to be with your drinking or not drinking. Then you may feel strong enough to tackle other areas in your life. One step at a time.

One of the best things we can all do is take care of ourselves so that we are able to take care of our loved ones. We need to be strong mentally, physically and emotionally but sometimes we can only gain that strength through vulnerability.

That's why we are always careful to make this bus a place where we won't judge and criticise but offer advice and encouragement if we think it's helpful.

And sometimes a bit of a kick up the bum if we think that's helpful too

Now, I have joined yet another diet thread (why do they always fizzle out?) and they have had a great idea of naming the days of the week to help keep focussed. I thought we could do the same.

Motivational Monday (a fresh new start if needed)
Try Hard Tuesday (use every strategy you know to stick to it)
We Wont Wobble Wednesday (bat that voice right out of your head)
Think Thin Thursday (hmm we may need a more alcohol related one here)
Think Through Thursday? (remind ourselves of why we're doing this)
Forge Ahead Friday (don't let it trip you up, it's just another day)
Stick To It Saturday (almost there, don't give up now)
Sober Sunday (see the results, get ready to feel the Boing)

What do we all think? (Polite answers only please )