The Brave Babes Battle Bus - All Going On A Sober Holiday! <crosses fingers that it stays sunny>

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, mouse

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus, grab yourself a seat, they're really comfy and a , oh and a home-made chocolate chip before they all get eaten!

We're a Bus full of alcohol abusers/addicts, some of us say it out loud, some whisper it and some aren't ready to say it at all just yet.

That said, there are a few of us who just have the occasional drink and that's something that they can handle. There are a few of us who must NEVER have another drink because that first one will lead to many, many more which will only ever end badly.

We're open to all....there are no requirements to join us on our journey to sobriety, there's support, great laughs, tears and tantrums here and that's just me!!!

If you'd like to see how we got here, follow THIS LINK

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Koti - can I ask what you take? Are you okay sweets? I get like that, my gabapentin are starting to kick in, like you, I've had to take everything today after being stuck in the car all day and feeling like shit because I wanted the day to be great and it was just a day of utter fuck ups until we found somewhere to eat.

DH had roast chicken dinner and Nemo had the time of his life playing and eating ice-cream whilst we waited to get the girls from Rhyl after they'd been to see McFly.

Anywho, I'm woozy and floaty which is what made me pick up on your post Koti.

Can you get yourself to bed? xx

Talking of bed, I'm heading off there soon.

Koti - you can always PM me if you want to chat pain and drugs off here, I'm happy to share what works for me, and of course what doesn't.

Not that long ago, a few of my friends were all on a certain drug and recommended it over all others, so I asked my doc, and he let me try them. I think if someone who has tried something and it's worked for them, it's worth giving it a go IYSWIM?

Anyway, bed for me as DH is not in the best of moods so I better check all is well with him.

Night night lovely Babes xx

Ah, yes, Tramadol. I got addicted too, must be something in the water eh?

I'm on MST, Gabapentin and Oramorph, plus a good smack of ibuprofen too. Anything with codeine in is bad for your kidneys, I have kidney issues so that was another reason for stopping the paracetamol and codeine drugs.

It's all a pressured because we've waited a whole year for this break and now some of it has turned to shit IYSWIM? DH is really worrying me. I think he's depressed and not owing it. I'm not sure how to get there with him though.

I have enough to handle and will always make time for him and his needs, I just have no idea where to start with this................

Sorry, wrong time and place to air my slightly dusty and in need of a spring clean and refresh!

Night Koti

I hope you feel better soon. Night sweets xx

Day 10 over and done with. I really am exceeding my own expectations

Morning everyone. I've not been posting so much recently, mostly because I've got a new phone. This is good because it means that I can easily read this thread and keep up to date with everyone, but being a bit of an old luddite with fat fingers, I'm not so good at posting anything

mouse I hope you have a really good holiday. I know that you give so much to looking after nemo, but you and your dh need also need to talk about how you look after yourselves, each other and your relationship - that is what gives you the strength to keep on giving. So I hope that you talk, talk, talk about all of that, and keep showing each other how much you love and respect one another.

Morning lovely babes,

mrsm and Kotinka- fantastic news, you are doing really well.I expect that it's getting easier to tell the wine witch to fuck off now!

I'm not doing so well but have dragged my sorry ass to day 2. I drank 1 glass every night last week, my one concession to sobriety was to buy 9% wine which I guess is better than 13 %. I feel cross with myself about that because it's lazy and does nothing to reduce my dependency. I then went for a big night out on saturday and put away a horrible amount of wine, I'm still suffering a little.

Oh well, I'm not frigging well drinking today!

Morning all

MrsM I really am exceeding my own expectations this is lovely to read. So great to suddenly realise 'I can do this' isn't it. It's a weight off your shoulders to know that you don't have to drink for the rest of your life! Well, that's how I felt anyway.

Mouse I think Kotinka might be right about your dh being tired. Hopefully things will seem better this morning if he's managed to sleep ok. I suppose it's frustrating for him seeing you in so much pain and trying to struggle on, when he can only do so much to help you. He probably doesn't want to add to your burdens by offloading his feelings too. I know I wouldn't in his position, I would think What the hell have I got to complain about! But then, it doesn't help him to keep it all bottled up.

I hope you all find some peace and relaxing time today, whatever the weather, you have each other x

gugg I think that just having a glass a day, but having one everyday, is almost like a torture, iyswim. Not allowing yourself more, but just having that taste, for me would be worse than not having any at all. I think that might be why you ended up having a bit of a binge.

Do you know why you wanted that one glass a day? It's very hard to maintain that if you have a drinking problem. Imo it will always end in a binge sooner or later. I hope you don't mind me saying that, not criticising your choices, just sharing what it would be like for me.

When I first started cutting down I stopped drinking on Mondays. Then, when I was happy with that, I cut out Tuesdays as well. I allowed myself to drink on the other days until I was ready to cut out Wednesdays. Eventually I stopped drinking on Thursdays and Sundays too. So that just left Friday and Saturday as 'drinking days'.

Then, when I was ready, and it took a fair few months, I cut out Saturdays. Fridays were always hard for me. I had the 'weekenditis' that Kotinka mentioned. The end of a working week, the need to kick back and relax. The first time I cut out Friday drinking, I was elated. Because I'd done something I didn't think I would be able to do.

After that, I decided to only drink when I was out (as I don't go out that much, it was drinking at home which was my problem). Since then, well I've managed to maintain those odd days of drinking and to not overdrink on those occasions.

But it was a long old experiment with setbacks and failures. I wasn't sure if I would ever get where I am now. I'm not sure if I will stay how I am now.

All I know is that what I was doing before wasn't working for me, so I changed it and, just for now, I am doing what does work for me.

Looking back, the hardest part was those first steps, making the decision to not drink for One Day and sticking to it for One Day. I really don't think I would have done it without this bus. I didn't know how. I've learned so much from the lovely babes here

Day 8 for me today, first time in a long time that I have been totally alcohol free over a weekend:) Am absolutely delighted with myself. In all honesty it was a long, boring weekend but I got through it and for the moment that's all that matters!
Today I will not be drinking.

oh well done obrigada!

Do you normally drink when bored? Is there something you can do to distract yourself? It's amazing what we discover about our lives when we stop hiding behind alcohol...

Happy Monday everyone

Well done to all who made it through the weekend. I'm not quite there yet but only drank on Sat night and much less than normal. Actually starting to enjoy all those alcohol free days and spending much less money than I would usually do.

My bike ride didn't go exactly to plan ..drove all the way to beautiful Glencoe in the sunshine then realised I had brought the wrong shoes ..doh! No ..not stilletoes or anything ..just my mountain bike shoes instead of my road bike ones which don't fit the pedals. So my boyfriend went for a bike ride and I had a lovely walk instead.

Will get out on my bike this week as I am trying to get fitter and lose some weight. Thinking about doing the Glasgow to Edinburgh bike ride in 4 weeks time which is 47 miles. I've done it before but will need to get some miles in before then if I want to survive!

Hi,

fairenuff Please DO criticise me! I really get what you mean about slowly cutting down and yes I did give in to the cravings for binge on a big night out probably because it felt o.k after drinking in the week!

I massively appreciate your reply I've only tackled the booze in the last few months and I'm here because I really want to knock the bugger on the head and move on from these destructive habits.(and pick the brains of clever people who might have some good suggestions for me to try)

kot no, I'm o.k but I am bone idle in some ways, I fell back into drinking a glass every night just out of laziness. You, on the other hand are doing brilliantly so don't listen to those cravings!

well done obrigada - keep going

A 47 mile bike ride!! wow!

gugg the best advice I ever got was to take it one day at a time. Just get through one day without a drink. What do you think, want to do it today?

Joey, yes I do drink mainly out of boredom, so I will have to find ways of filling up the empty spaces in my life and not resort to drink, which just leaves me feeling completely shitty!

Morning everyone, sorry not been posting much but welcome back Joey and thanks for your post Faire, very useful to me at the moment as I'm still fence-sitting. I haven't drunk much since I came home from holiday - just a couple of sensibly-sized glasses at my parents yesterday - and as I'm not doing anything socially for the next week or so, that means no booze. I'm recording each drinking occasion in my diary so I can keep a close eye on how I drink and the moment it causes me concern I'll have to re-think.

Right now I have other things to keep me occupied, such as the dog (all sweetness and light at home and with the human species but a menace to his fellow-canines) and I've also been giving a lot of thought to what makes me truly happy. I desperately need to find a creative outlet and once and for all to come to terms with the fact that I'm not a social butterfly and stop beating myself up because I love my own company and have always wondered if I'm too solitary. I actually think the reason I started drinking was because it made me feel comfortable in social situations and then helped me cope with a career in advertising which for someone with more than a streak of introversion, caused considerable anxiety and stress.

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Just super quickly, my netbook is not working properly, so as a result is missing words out so if none of my posts make sense why. Trying to mend it.

Will be back later to catch up and read back. I've lost my seahorse charm DH got me for our WA.

A bad omen?

Need to pull byself out of this sticky dark patch......

Morning mouse I hope you find your charm soon

soma I also drink to feel comfortable in social situations, although I've found it doesn't really seem to make that much difference. Except am more likely to be argumentative and say stupid things when drinking.

mouse you have enough on your plate without driving your mind mad worrying about 'omens' - imo things sometimes get lost sometimes because your mind is already distracted by things - don't add to that, and instead please focus on doing something constructive - look into your dh's eyes and remind yourselves how much you love each other, or agree that each of you will do something really nice for the other person.

I lost my wedding ring but hey guess what, I'm still married . It's not that I didn't care - I was very sad about it, but it is an object, and the important thing is the sentiment around why it was bought and given to you, not the object itself.

Mouse, lots and lots of hugs, you sound so down:(

I avoid social situations like the plague but true to form if I have to go somewhere I "fill" up first and then it's a game of chance whether I have a good night or not, my problem is my self-esteem is so low that all it takes is one person to make a throwaway remark or say something even remotely sarcastic to me and I just end up blubbering - which only adds to the shittiness I feel the morning after drinking.

obrigada 'a game of chance'! that describes it exactly. Yes, I might be more relaxed with a drink. On the other hand, I might do or say something I'll regret... it's all a bit out of control.

I think the drinking to feel comfortable with other people syndrome is a common denominator amongst quite a few of us here. And it doesn't mean to say we don't love being around others, it's more the circumstances around the social interaction. I do accept myself more now, and can brush off comments from certain people about my desire to be alone (ex-H was always "accusing" me of this) because I know he had it wrong. I'm better one on one or in small groups, where the discussion is deep or interesting in a more general sense, as I dislike small talk intensely. I'm actually very outspoken and good with strangers - I don't have a fear of meeting people as such, it's more a question of if I don't have anything interesting to say I don't say it (if only more people were like that, present company most definitely excluded).

Now that drink doesn't feature so strongly in my life, I feel able to make wiser choices about how I wish to spend my time. If most of it is taken up with precious moments with DD, long walks with the dog or with my nose in a kindle, then sobeit (am reading a fabulous book at the moment BTW, "Quiet - the Power of Introverts" by "Susan Cain"). I'm also not paralysed with fear at the idea of ending up alone as I've come to accept that this is in fact, the human condition. Apologies for being so introspective but it helps to get this out and begin to appreciate how alcohol began to take hold in the first place.