The Brave Babes Battle Bus - All Going On A Sober Holiday! <crosses fingers that it stays sunny>

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, mouse

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus, grab yourself a seat, they're really comfy and a , oh and a home-made chocolate chip before they all get eaten!

We're a Bus full of alcohol abusers/addicts, some of us say it out loud, some whisper it and some aren't ready to say it at all just yet.

That said, there are a few of us who just have the occasional drink and that's something that they can handle. There are a few of us who must NEVER have another drink because that first one will lead to many, many more which will only ever end badly.

We're open to all....there are no requirements to join us on our journey to sobriety, there's support, great laughs, tears and tantrums here and that's just me!!!

If you'd like to see how we got here, follow THIS LINK

koti Thanks for making me feel better. I think I am going to stop counting days it just doesn.t work for me. Its great until you fail and are back to day 1.
Having said that its a great incentive for some and I might come back to it if and when I decide to totally abstain.

isinde thanks for the praise re me getting to day 10. Feels a long time ago to me at this moment and need to GET A GRIP.
Anyway nice to meet you on the thread/bus I think this is the first time you have been on the thread since I started posting. Difficult to be sure for me as to help with distraction/sobriety/INSOMNIA I have been reading the old threads intil| the wee small hours so feel I sort of know you. Hope you don't mind.

gugg thanks for the congrats. Feel glad I got to 10 days but decided not to count again for the time being. Total failure last night and tonight. Will be more determined tomorrow

I don't know if this will be helpful to you WayPast, but when I cut back on the amount I was drinking I decided that the first drinks which had to go would be the "stress relief" or "cheer me up" drinks. I wanted to drink more like a normal person, ie. to drink when celebrating, or on a night out, or eating a special meal. Drinking to cheer oneself up is dangerous territory because too much alcohol is so bloody depressing!

Evening all

Waypast we have an acronym on the bus which you may have heard of - HALT - (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired). These are all common 'triggers' for drinking. I guess 'angry' is one of yours. The idea is that, before you grab that glass and drink, you think to yourself 'HALT'. Then you stop and try to find another way to deal with that emotion, like going outside for a brisk walk, a stomp across the fields, doing some star jumps or bashing a pillow.

Rural you've done so well. You've proved to yourself that it's possible. You can go ten days without a drink. That is a massive big deal. Slipping up is just an opportunity to learn more about your drinking habits, so just put it behind you and get back into your groove

Skippy how are you doing? Haven't heard from you for a while, are you ok?

Isinde great to see you back x

So tired now, am off to bed. Will catch up with everyone else tomorrow. Sleep well babes.

Morning all

Ha, last on the bus last night and first on this morning. Couldn't resist popping in. Have a great day babes, see you all later x

have a good day faire

i had a good meeting last night - was timely as without even realising it particularly i had been thinking about drinking and toying with it a little. was slipping off course. sneaky bloody alcohol whispering in my ear. admitting that helped as did actually listening to people's advice and suggestions and actually trying some of it.

have to take the puppy to the vets for her second jab (soon be able to take her out thank goodness and use some of that bouncy energy) and then come home and do a quick turnaround to a lunchtime meeting. friend from aa has ds bless her and is taking him and her ds to the park and i'll join them there after the meeting.

so not only has aa stopped me drinking it has also made me a friend who is willing to have my son overnight so i can get to a meeting and who i actually trust to do so. it's all good.

hope everyone is ok - i'm afraid i haven't caught up - will try to later. just wanted to pop on and wish everyone a good day x

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Saf - great news about your friend! I bet you feel so relieved that you have a friend who can help out with DS, but you can also share your AA experiences with IYSWIM?

That's just it isn't it? AA or other support groups open doors to other things...... you've made a friend who you trust and know 'gets it' with the AA meetings and just how important they are.

For me it was taking Nemo to a local stay n play group (where we'll be going soon) and after being housebound for years, I've made three really good, close friends who really care about me and Nemo. They're always offering help with him, asking to meet up so that we can all have a bit of a break from the same four walls.

If I hadn't taken that first step, I'd still be sat here rocking back and forth going mad and wanting to talk to another adult other than DH!

I think sometimes it's the fear of the unknown, that very first tentative step into the Big Bad World that's the one which will change your life for the better.

I better go and get dressed, PJs are not so great as outside attire, mind you, I do live in semi-rural village.....

Have safe days everyone

Faire - I too worry or think about Babes who've not posted for a while. If you're out there quiet Babes, come and give us a wave please., even if it's just a smile or sad face. xx

Morning lovlies. Isinde I consider myself fortunate that I don't have the trigger of rows with a DP anymore - that was the one thing that was guaranteed to set me off on a binge and I know how you feel. Where are we going today? I fancy a trip to Mouse's semi-rural location and a quiet day before I go back to work tomorrow.

Saf thanks for your post about the meeting, it's timely for me as I'm questioning my decision to drink on holiday and am conscious that "sneaky bloody alcohol has been whispering in ear" of late and threatening to spoil my new-found serenity. Something made me reach for one of my journals earlier (I've kept one on and off for years and have a row of them on the top bookshelf in my bedroom) and it was one from almost exactly two years ago. Cutting down on booze was my main concern at the time and I'd managed to control it (or so I thought). Fast-forward a couple of years and I'm very concerned I've come full circle. Groundhog day indeed

I know it has to be different this time and that it can be, not least because of the wonderful support I've found here but I may have to seriously reconsider whether or not I should attempt to do the controlled drinking thing. I know that Faire and Mouse have been successful and I'd so like to be the same but I'm just not sure....Anyway, I'm certainly not drinking today and hope everyone else stays safe and enjoys the sun x

IsinDe - re the massive row, had you had a drink before the row? And was the row about the name change?

I think you shouldn't worry about what to call her or you her. She doesn't need a label and neither do you. You're together. You love one another no matter what, there's no need to be 'husband' or 'wife' in any relationship IMO.

It's just what society dictates really

I'm sorry to read you had a row. And I'm sorry to read that you had a 'Fuck It' moment and drank what you did. I think we (because we're all here to support one another aren't we?) need to think of a different coping mechanism than alcohol when things like this happen

Oh, I know how easy it is for me to say that and type it here but it's true and only YOU can change the way you tackle the shit that comes your way.

You're an intelligent lady, you know what you're doing. You know that you turn to alcohol when things get rough, and you know that you do this time and time again.

I'm not having a go at you, I'm pointing out loud and clear that you are a serial offender when it comes to using the booze to numb the pain, soften the blow, blur the edges..........

I'm worried that one of you will reach breaking point if you carry on drinking. Please stay on the Bus and let us help however we can.

Sorry to waffle on to you I just want you to be okay, I think we all do xx

You're on Isinde, I'll bring the drinks (cherry juice from Sainsburys, yummy). Echo what Mouse says, you old serial offender you :) - we all want you to be happy, don't let the demon drink scupper anything.

Speaking of which, have recorded Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf and looking forward to watching it later. Now there's a couple who know how to row.

PS have changed my name - don't deserve to call myself Soba at the moment and need to do some thinking

Koti - It's hard. I think the booze thing might be the hardest problem I've hit so far.

Yup, it's hard. Hard to not get a glass out, not open the bottle, not pour that first ice cold glass of sav blanc or whatever your poison may be..... it's hard not to pick up the glass, not take that sip.

Do you know what's harder? Dealing with the aftermath. The hangovers, the abuse (verbal, mental or physical), the denial, the nausea, the shame, the memories, the playback as the day goes on......

After two years (I think?) of being on this Bus, I have read posts that have made my blood boil because of how people have behaved, or how people have been treated by others. I've cried at posts. I've had little bits of 'leakage' shall we say, when I've read a post that has had me in stitches laughing and DH looking at me as if I'm mad!

We are all so very different and yet so very alike in our thoughts about our drinking. We all have the same thing in common here, we are all trying our best to stop drinking too much or stop all together.

I believe that if we keep posting, keep talking, letting it out, whether you are a newer poster or have been here as long as Jesus then we'll get there if we want to.

Because that's the thing isn't it? The 'thing' that stops us from stopping. We all have to REALLY want to give up the alcohol and all of the wonderful things that come with having a drink or two......

Sermon over

Right, more packing and sorting stuff out. Be back later xx

Mouse Yup, it's hard. Hard to not get a glass out, not open the bottle, not pour that first ice cold glass of sav blanc or whatever your poison may be..... it's hard not to pick up the glass, not take that sip

Do you know what's harder? Dealing with the aftermath. The hangovers, the abuse (verbal, mental or physical), the denial, the nausea, the shame, the memories, the playback as the day goes on

This is exactly what I was thinking, but I just couldn't put it into words. I was thinking - 2 days - two choices - which one do you want

Day 1 - Ignoring that voice in your ear. Distracting yourself by getting on with stuff. Being busy, getting out and about, catching up on jobs, resisting, resisting, resisting until you thankfully go to bed with a sober day under your belt.

Day 2 - Feeling like deep boiled shiite. Queasy stomach, tired, bloated, red veined, headachy, can't be bothered to do anything. Nothing makes you feel better, nothing at all. Slouching around all day, grumpy and snapping at family until thankfully, the day is over and you can slope off to bed feeling like a failure.

Neither of them are great but Day 1 gets easier and easier until you realise that voice has gone awfully quiet lately

Day 2 is on repeat

Ma quick running question - I've got a heart-rate monitor to wear when I'm jogging but not sure what's a safe rate to run at, do you know? At first it was getting up to 183 beats per minute which I thought was a bit high so now I jog until it hits 160 then walk until it's back to 130, then jog again. What do you think, does that sound ok?

faire I don't know anything about heart rates. When I'm jogging mine feels like its going to explode but that's all I know.
Well today I have collected ds's kilt,two crates of champagne glasses,yet more shopping, a dozen bottles of cava and god knows what else. D's has been shut in his room 'working' and dd1 is holed up in her room yelling 'don't come in' at regular intervals.its all boiling up for Saturday night.....

Just checking in to say managed not to drink today.
Seemed very very hard after my two day relapse.
Koti i'm feeling a little better now I've got through today without picking up.
mouse and faire brilliant posts
Isinde hoping you had a better day today'
Goodnight babes, sleep wellxx