Help me please, I aam mortified and feel so sick :(

[mortifiedwife]

Obviously name-changed, well, I made a whole new account just to be sure, this is a vile horrid situation

I feel sick even typing this.

I was in bed with my H, in the middle of sex, and I shit myself. I'm not even ill, nothing like this has ever happened to me before, never, why now? It was runny... sorry... I thought it was H 'finishing', he practically ran from the room... oh god he went in the bathroom while I was crying and cleaning up, he didn't say a word, and has walked straight out of the bathroom and out of the house

I am now sat here crying my eyes out, mortified, humiliated, I feel sick to the pit of my stomach I do not want him to come home, ever, I can't face him ever again. What if he thought I did it on purpose?! Why did he walk out?

Help me, god, please, I am turning inside out with humilation please tell me this has happened to someone else?? I feel like running away before he comes home because I can't face it. This is the end of my marriage

It's almost 4am, he has nowhere else to go, that's how much he wanted to get away from me oh fuck I am so vile

First calm down
Second txt him sorry and tell him it was accident.
Third get some sleep

if its any consolation my husband has seen far worse when i was giving birth. They get over it.

Why on earth has he had such an extreme reaction? Whilst it can't have been pleasant, it was an accident.

Poor you - both in terms of the accident, but also for your 'D'H having such a reaction :(

This has never happened to me but I'm sure it must have happened to someone somewhere before. Think about it ..... your body is either extremely relaxed during sex or else you're exercising your pelvic muscles one way or another. It's not a huge leap to think that your anal sphincter could also be affected by what effectively is a workout for that area. Clearly, you may not have felt ill, but there was something going on inside you that wasn't quite normal ..... and everything just combined to make what happened happen.

Obviously you didn't do it deliberately, and you're not vile - though I can appreciate how mortified you feel. I'm not suggesting for a second that it was pleasant but for your H to juts walk out of the house is disgusting - as if you're some sort of leper. If he was any sort of man he'd feel for you - and not do anything that'd make you feel even worse than you already do. I hope he comes back soon .... and apologises, and asks after you, and reassures you. Anything else - if he's angry, or revolted, or stand offish ..... well, then he'd be the vile one for being so unsympathetic.

You probably have an upset stomach. It such a shame he reacted like that, no wonder you feel mortified.

Could it have been your hubby that shat himself?! Maybe he's mortified!

Have you had any damage to your sphincter, like from a tear during childbirth? Or (sorry) laxity in your sphincter from bum sex?
Either way, what an awful experience for you, but really, what a complete overreaction on H's part. Sex is messy. Occasionally very messy :)
He is being a knob.
((((((HUG)))))))

He's incredibly squeamish, gags at a bit of armpit hair, god knows what he's thinking about all this

I really don't want him to come back, what could I possibly say to make this go away? I shat on my husband! Oh fucking hell

O honey (((hugs))). We can't always control our bodies.

It was an involuntary action and, as Hyperballad has said, most probably caused by an upset stomach. No blame, no shame - and dont let anyone try to tell you anything different.

Physically I feel fine, no damage down there, no violent childbirth or anything. I have no idea where it came from but what fucking terrible timing. I keep contorting with embarrassment, I might actually die.

Fuck what he's thinking

The main thing is that you're ok and, hopefully, will soon be able to see the funny side of it even though it may not be a story that you'll want to dine out on any time soon.

Come on, we're adults and we know that shit happens - albeit that in your case, as for so many others, it happened literally.

Show me a man who's never pissed in his bed and I'll marry him

It's not you with the problem here mortifiedwife it's your "D"H.

Yes embarrassing, yes inconvenient but you didn't do it on purpose and you are certainly not vile.

Thank you for all the supportive replies but I am literally MELTING with horror. I can't see this ever getting any better.

He has just text me. I can't bring myself to read it.

How can mortified have laxity in her sphincter from bum sex, Jacks?

In case it's escaped your attention, it's not Friday

Go on, read it. You know you've got to and better to do it while we're here with ready hands to hold.

It says: 'U ok?'

He walked out 50+ mins ago so if I wasn't okay it's a bit late to ask. Do I answer?

This has ruined my marriage! I don't even know how to speak to him now

If it's anything except an apology, deadlock the doors and go to bed.

Yes I'd reply, along the lines of:

No I'm not okay. My body had a freak accident at a moment of complete relaxation and your response to that is to walk out on me. Squeamish or not, your reaction was OTT and quite possibly unforgivable.

Reply with 'I'm ok, and you?'

I replied 'not really, are you?'

I can't lock the doors because he has to be at work in 4 hours, all of his clothes are in the bedroom and he walked out from the bathroom so I don't know if he's even dressed properly to be outside, let alone to go to work.

I don't want him to come back though, I don't want to see him. I don't want him to look at me with disgust.

O sweetie, he's most probably ashamed of himself and of his reaction. And if he's not, he damned well ought to be.

Given the state it's in and although it may seem fitting, the world won't end on a piece of shit. And neither will your marriage unless it turns out that he's a shit - in which case you'll be better off without him.

Don't you see, honey? It could have been him involuntarily evacuating his bowels while you fucked... and would you have thought any the less of him?

You do know that, revolting as the thought may be, some folk pay good money for what you both experienced for free.

There's nothing new under the sun. Get over yourselves and have a cuddle.

Izzy, I'll be the first to admit that I have no personal experience of bumsex, so can only go on what I've heard from people and read most of which is probably utter shite and completely untrue and would therefore be happy to be corrected, but I've been told by a friend who likes lots of bumsex that it has made it hard for her to hold in wind and poo occasionally.

She may of course have been shitting me :o

Only asked because concerned for op.

Op - I hope you're hanging in there.

He's incredibly squeamish, gags at a bit of armpit hair This is a classic. I'll be dining out on this one

What a silly sod you're married to. I hope he realises how lucky he is to have you, honey.

Your problem is not that you had an accident (which is unfortunate) but that your DH is behaving like a twunt. Seriously his reaction is appalling and if this sort of "event" would ruin your marriage then I'm frankly inclined to think that might be a positive in the long term.

And izzy I have to disagree a man gagging at armpit hair is not amusing, it is weird bordering on disturbing.

You had me fooled, Jacks. From your clinical description of the nether regions I would have sworn you were an active practitioner expert in those matters posterior that are the province of a Friday night on this site