Help me please, I aam mortified and feel so sick :(

[mortifiedwife]

Obviously name-changed, well, I made a whole new account just to be sure, this is a vile horrid situation

I feel sick even typing this.

I was in bed with my H, in the middle of sex, and I shit myself. I'm not even ill, nothing like this has ever happened to me before, never, why now? It was runny... sorry... I thought it was H 'finishing', he practically ran from the room... oh god he went in the bathroom while I was crying and cleaning up, he didn't say a word, and has walked straight out of the bathroom and out of the house

I am now sat here crying my eyes out, mortified, humiliated, I feel sick to the pit of my stomach I do not want him to come home, ever, I can't face him ever again. What if he thought I did it on purpose?! Why did he walk out?

Help me, god, please, I am turning inside out with humilation please tell me this has happened to someone else?? I feel like running away before he comes home because I can't face it. This is the end of my marriage

Honestly? No, it wasn't a nice thing to happen but his reaction was appalling. Very OTT.

One of the first threads I ever read on MN was about someone's DH, dressed as a Christmas elf, shitting his tights.

It happens. Hope you are OK, mortified, and will be able to laugh about it with your DH in the future.

Oh gawd i remember the sitting Elf! op i hope this thread has given some perspective and you guys are ok now

Something similar happened to me, mortifiedwife - I have irritable bowel syndrome, so I get a lot of wind, and my poo can be very loose. One night, more than half asleep, I did what I thought was a fart in bed - only it wasn't. I pooed the bed. So I do understand your feelings of mortification, and I wish I was there to give you a hug and tell you that you are a lovely person, who was momentarily let down by her body.

Thanks for sharing your stories!

Well I've been to work and it has given me some perspective, there is life outside of the poo incident. I feel slightly better now but still keep having little shudders.

We have no children, I've miscarried and he was grossed out but more of a 'holy mother of fuck are you dying' reaction. I don't know what childbirth would do to him, he would probably deal with it (I hope!)

Armpit hair was an exaggeration, he hasn't literally gagged at the sight of my armpit fuzz, I was making the point that he's squeamish with me, expects me to be a little porcelain doll really. So for me to shit on him was a bit much.

Mortified, I miscarried and covered the bathroom with blood and God knows what else. I went off in an ambulance with my best friend (a doctor) and left DH with DD1 and a massive clean up operation.

DH was too squeamish to be present at the birth of either of our DDs, but when it came to this he had no option. He did a good job too!

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better, you would rather it hadn't happened and so would he, but it has and you are both able to put it behind you and focus on each other. Don't let it ruin your relationship.

Hope you're feeling ok OP :) I once had food poisoning and before I'd quite realised what it was we were in bed, I felt sick, farted (so I thought) and then realised I had terrible diarrhoea...in bed. What was worse was that we were in a hotel. DH was lovely but I was mortified about leaving the sheets in such a state. I tried to clean them in the bath, as well as the disaster zone bathroom and bedroom in general but no amount of bleach was going to sort it. I've never left such a big tip for housekeeping.

Glad you are feeling a bit better Mortified :)

In this house it's known as "the day fishy pooed the bed" he still married me

Mortified, I suspect he's also mortified, and just as embarrassed! I have had similar instant poos when I had a peanut butter shake. I did make it to the toilet, but, well, it could have been bad! I'm sure he's feeling worse than you because of his reaction.

But can I just say that if you would have felt worse with him there, then he is a good DH, he did exactly what you'd prefer, remove himself until you felt better!

I hate to admit, but it's kind of a funny story, because no one got hurt, and if it had happened to me, we would have grossed out and then laughed! But I feel for you, because my DH is EXTREMELY phobic about poo, and I am not sure how he is going to cope when our kidlet is born!
He says he will do fine, but the fact that he won't touch any horse, dog or cat poo now makes me a little wary...

He's your husband. why is he reacting like that? Of course you aren't vile. I'd be angry with him tbh for being so absurd.

Well, you're not a porcelain doll. You're a human being who shits. It happens

Oh dear OP, I hope you are feeling better now. Honestly, i don't understand how people can be so uptight about bodily functions. My dad regularly shat/shits himself and to us it is all just part of life. When i was 21 he took me to new york for my birthday and drank too much and shat himself all over the hallway carpet of the hotel. I spent my birthday scrubbing the carpet with one of those tiny soaps and loo roll and rinsing out his pooey trousers in the bath!

A friend used to work on a beauty counter (Origins) at Harrods and farted and followed thru whilst serving some customers. She couldn't leave the counter so had to complete the sale with poo squelching thru her tights and down her leg!

Another friend worked in a clothes shop and pooed her pants on her way to work. When she got there no one was there yet, so she snuck in washed up in the bathroom and then ran round the shop bottomless and grabbed a new pair of trousers from the rack, ran them thru the till and slipped them on before anyone else arrived. A week later she was called in to head office. They told her there was a suspected thief at that branch and they had put hidden cameras in to catch them...She had to then explain that she'd had a dodgy curry the night before 'the incident' and had crapped herself on the way to work!

Anyway, all true stories, so i hope you realise how 'messy' we human are. Tbh i would be livid with your DH if i were you.

This'll be one to tell the dgc, honey, and by the time they come along you'll have lost any squeamishness about normal bodily functions.

As for your dh, he may fondly imagine you to be a porcelain doll but this shouldn't blind him to the fact that you're a real, live, red-blooded woman who farts, belches, and occasionally upchucks, shits and pees herself in much the same way that he does.

This thread is a rich seam of amusing tales that can be related to others apres the consumption of a meal. FWIW SaraBellum, the appalling can be cause for hilarity and it seems to me that the somewhat manic emoticon can indicate either extreme amusement or psycho tendencies

Poor you OP, I have cleaned up shitty boyfriends and various family members before and its not fun but its life. All living things poop. Hope you feel better.

OP - hope you feel better and your DH has come to his senses.

Trust me on this one - it is not as unusual as you would think (I work in gynaecology).

Try not to worry about it too much, it will probably never happen again.

Bless you, put it down to a shitty experience! Im passing on a hug and a bunch of flowers. Here you are (thanks)

sorry tried to be clever and add a pretty picture of flowers!!! Im rubbish - but my heart is in the right place!

OP, I'm glad you're feeling better, everyone's body lets them down every now and then. Nothing to be ashamed of!

I'm somewhat concerned by the number of posters who seem to think it's acceptable for men to regularly pee or shit themselves though. And worse, seem to accept it as their job to clean up the mess. Seriously? That's so messed up I don't even know where to start. What kind of man (medical issues excepted does that?

Well you're not a porcelain doll, so he needs to get over it.
Sorry OP, it must've been awful...but these things happen, and your dh I am afraid to say, did not handle it well.

Me and dh would have a laugh about this as a one off incident. I am not sure why your h is so freaked out by a bit of shit, hardly nuclear waste. I think he needs to get a grip and I am not sure what you have to be embarrassed about.

How on earth can you live with each other on a daily basis with all that entails?! If that was me, the poo would swiftly be followed by pee, as I peed myself laughing.... and dh would more than likely be the same, and I wouldn't really care if he wasn't.

Lordy Lord I've heard it all

Whoever it was who posted that if she ever meets a man who hasn't peed in his bed, she'll marry him - you cannot have my DH. He's mine. So ner.

Wow, I can't believe he had that strong a reaction. Sure, it would be gross, embarrassing but to run out of the house just seems childish.

But honestly, your husband needs to get over the fact that you poop. People poop, it really isn't the end of the world, even if you poop during sex.

helltotheno - would you really laugh? I am the most broad minded person i know and i would be mortified actually. I would laugh about it later, but i wouldnt laugh at the time - fair play to you though.

Am guessing the OP doen't do a poo while her DH is in the bath??