Success, standards and still holding out for Johnny Depp...dating thread 18

[ChaoticismyLife]

Forget the olympics...we're aiming for dating gold.

Only the best is good enough.

As you were....:)

Mercury, I think he would either be very good or absolutely awful! Quite possibly he is all talk in which case the latter is more likely

He always used to call me on a Sunday & try to come round, he goes to see his DC not far from me, I'm on his way home. Nothing like convenience....

and Snape the bloke sounds beyond rude, he sounds more 'zero social skills, lives in a flat where he has to tunnel through piles old newspaper'

I cant believe he actually said he was going for a 'toilet break'

There is one person I would drop everything for and Thats my mate who comes back to England occasionally and that would be for a catch up not a shag and I have known him for as long as I can remember I couldn't sleep with him

Sponge-for first time sex I'd always want to bloke to arrange well in advance and at my convenience.
he'd have to have a proven track record of being very good in bed for me to agree to anything @ short notice.

I'd be fuming if I'd put myself out to 'service' someone and it turned out to be a rubbish quickie

I wouldn't mind the occasional quickie in a relationship tbh, but for only that it has to be pretty amazing. Still I am not giving myself to anyone unless Leonardi dicaprio walks through my door or eminem

Quick update before reading the almost 100 posts since this morning(!).

Met Mr VN at his friends'. It was already lunch time and I was en route, so we just went for lunch and then a quick walk on the beach.
DS was with me so we had to be "just friends" and steal a kiss here and there, so that DS doesn't tell ex.
Anyway, it was sort of fun and frustrating.
But Mr VN lived up to his name and was really cool and played along. There was lots of holding hands and so on, particularly under the table. :o
As far as DS was concerned he was just another friend and he won't be seeing him again anytime soon. So I think it's ok.

And off to read your posts.

Here it goes:

Snape, he probably was too scared to be rejected! And fled before you could do it. Maybe it helped his ego, at least not being crushed.

Girly, he loves his car too much to give you enough time? At the very least he should have told you he was running late or something. Or invite you to go along. He'd had to do some serious behind for giving him a second chance.

Sponge, at soldier. Have you put his number on the phone memory again?

Not behind! Begging!

snape - how are you this morning?

Sponge - had to admit i did laugh at your useless collegues 'advice'. I think unless people have dated recently, they really dont have a clue and all their advice is based on when they were single, which is usually a long, long time ago, and it is so very different now. I love the' just geta fwb' i never found a ' fwb' ( actually i found one, i forgot that) in all that time, even though i offered a few of them that very situation, they never took me up on it, quite why, who knows because im awesome in bed. so, id take it all with a pinch of salt.

anyway - i need advice.
We went out yesterday and bumped into a few people mrl knew and hadnt see for a while. One he introduced as just my name. and then other he said ' this is my friend - my name.
:(
BUT, then was holding my hand, or stroking me, or whatever, the whole time we were talking to them.

The rest of the day was fab, hes not shy about holding hands, kissing and stuff, in fact i dont think my hand was out of his the whole day. and of course i did meet his mother too. and was introduced as ' my name'

Im probably being really girly, and reading too much into it, but, i dont know. Its obviously bothering me, because im asking your advice.

Lueji He did tell me he was driving on Sunday, I just forgot that was what he was doing, he told me when I was still basking in the glow, if you get my drift. I could not go with him anyway as had dinner with the family and then a long walk in the park.

watch he obviously likes you and made that clear in front of his friends, so dont take it the wrong way x

Watch I know the just get a fwb thing makes me laugh, as if it is that easy!there was a guy a few weeks ago I thought would make a perfect FWB but despite sending me lots of texts the day after saying he wanted to see me again, nothing came of it. I have thought of texting him & saying I didnt want a relationship just sex but I thought it looked a bit desperate

It's possible the soldier could be a FWB in the making but I'm far too vanilla to keep him happy judging by some of his comments...

the mrl situation - am guessing its bothering you because he didn't intro you as his girlfriend? i think maybe this is a situation where you have to look at what he did rather than said - and whilst he didnt use that word (I think its a tricky one, i have quite a few friends in their 30s who hate the word girlfriend & would prefer to be just called by name - maybe that was where he was coming from?) his actions made it fairly clear to the people you met that was who you were.

I honestly wouldnt worry or overthink it. And this is from me the queen of overthinking :)

i know, ive had lots of men say they were up for fwb, only for them to vanish and never return, its werid.

Yes, it might have been embarassng to say ' this is my gf watch' i might have felt about 12. BUT, it is slightly bugging me. Even though i supose there isnt any dount from his actions. Plus im sort of kicking myself because he was talking about his friend whos shagging lots of girls, and said that his friend was like' some girl' and he said that was awful, and i was being shocked at ' some girl' and he said that i wasnt just some girl, and i should have, at that point asked what i was. but i didnt.

its bloody hard, to bring this kind of thing up.
My friend invited me round for whenever i culd make it, and his gf is inviting one of her male friends, so it should be good. apparently, that feels like a set up. i didnt know if maybe i might mention thois to mrl while we are away this weekend and see what he says...

????? help

Hi everyone just popping in to update... I had a second date on Saturday, nice guy we wet bowling and for dinner and drinks, then I told him to come back to mine and he didn't even try anything atall and from our conversations felt like I should try anything as he doesn't like easy girls (which I don't consider myself to be ) anyway I like him and we get on well but I'm not sure if there is that passionate side to him or how I feel about him!!

Also he lives very close to my area and I am meant to be meeting another guy in thurs and feel like maybe I shouldn't see him in my local area incase he sees me

He already told me he went on Pof one day just to check if I was in there an I was. It makes me feel like in a way he is controlling even tho when you speak to him he seems very sweet and even in confident!!

He also offered to sort out my jungle of a garden which is really out of control and would like to let him do that

So not sure if I should go for the Thursday date in a different area???

a man who describes women as 'easy' would get a big thumbs down from me

if I invited someone back to mine and he didnt understand why I'd invited him back I'd ditch him pdq

I might use him for gardening services first tho:o

i think i would go on thursdays date and not see the other guy again. from what you have said he doesnt sound great, and you dont really sound like you want a third date from him...
AND hes already admited to checking up on you. After only two dates and not even a snog?!?!?!? Thats just boody crazy.

thanks for asking watch, I'm still in disbelief/denial i think...

what makes this slightly more amusing/bizarre is that PM (who has been away this weekend & doesn't know the full story) posted a snitty fb update about 'OKstupid: I don't know why I even bother', so some mutual wound licking may be in order. Let's line up more rejection and disaster over wine and PS3ing, shall we?

I wouldn't worry about the '(girl)friend' introductions. you're not a girl, you're a grown up - it isnt a term that I might use, teh thought of introducing nayone as my 'boyfriend' when they are in their 30's/40's is awful. you're not a 'partner' yet, you're a strange definition just now. :) as he was holding your hand and being generally lovely, I think everyone got the jist. :)

a lovely line in 'six feet under' when Nate introduces Brenda to his brother - 'This is Brenda, my.. umm.. girlfriend..' Brenda: Actually, i prefer the term 'fuckpuppet...'

yes, thinking about it, i would feel totally cringy if i introduced him as my boyfriend, i would just say ' this is mrl' and that would be that.
yes, he was holding my hand, or had an arm round me, etc... etc... so i supose it was glaringly obvious. and im just being silly.

i loved six feet under :)

So - pm has had a bad time too. i do wonder if it can top yours, because its so astoundingly crap. In fact, i think you might win some kind of award for having the worlds worst possible date. EVER!

and i supose because he took me into his house for the first time ever, and i met his mother ( it is a LOVELY house) then i probably shouldnt be too worried about it.

excellent! an award! gold plated dildo? can we have an awards ceremony? do I get to make a speech?!

I am seeing humour in it, when I recount it to PM, it will be hilarious, but thats all front and it does kinda hurt - as Morrisey said, 'rejection is one thing, but rejection from a fool is cruel'

He couldn't possibly have had a worse time than me. I'm keeping my gold plated statuette. :) I will probably burst into tears, which is incredibly attractive (in fact my IT wouldn't work this morning, I felt like crying...)

sounds like its going well watch I understand the need to keep your guard up but dont let that get in the way of sometyhing that sounds quite lovely :)

yes, gold plated dildo. And please, please do a speach.
No - i think on all counts you will keep the worst date title. i cant think of any thing that could be much worse.

Humour is very good at making light of stuff huh, i do that ALL the time.
And yes, i should think you do feel rather like crap and wondering what the hell caused him to do a runner. But, as we have all said, it speaks volumes about the kind of person HE is, and not about the kind of person you are.

I do truely think it was to do with the texts and he bottled it when confronted with the real live person whom he had been sending/ wanking over. and he couldnt handle it. Its the danger of texts going that way before you have met, and as much as you put in the ' but we might not click thing' that doesnt count for much. essentially hes done the equilivant of running out in the middle of the night, after shagging out. but hes just missed out on the shag.hes a tosser and shown his true self rather quickly.

thanks girly :)
Its is hard, i have no idea what hes thinking at all. I know he thinks im awesome because he says that all the time. I know he likes spending time with me, and not just shagging, because he says that all the time. But thats all i know. but i supose its early days ( just over 2 months)
And hes coming camping with me, not because he wants to, but because i asked him. which is really sweet. and he fixed my blind of me on saturday, and said hes going to fix my bed ( because the frame is coming apart, though im blaming him for that........)

So if he says all those nice things, which are really lovely, why do you not know what he is thinking? He sounds really thoughtful and you like shagging him,its a win win as far as I can see. Stop doubting yourself!

oh.
yes, but, i dont know what hes thinking in regards to relationship wise.

i do realise i am possibly just being silly. But what i dont want to happen, is for me to be thinking one thing, namely, that we are a couple, and then hes thinking that its just a casual thing or something. And at some point someone, namely me, being hurt about that.

well you need to bite the bullet and just ask him? Just bear in mind what it is you want and dont settle for less. You are worth it you know :)