I want to have an affair

[Affairsoftheheart]

[Message from MNHQ: Please note this is a zombie thread - it was started in 2014]

Okay long story short....
Been with OH for 8 years. We have 2 DCs - 5 and 2. We got together in a time in our lives when we were both vulnerable. We might not have got together. Since we had first DC, our relationship became quite bad (I think my hormones were crazy), and we were meant to sort out counselling. It never happened.

I also lost any interest in OH sexually, I just don't feel attracted to him. Though we did have another DC, which we both wanted. We sleep in seperate bedrooms, and have had sex about twice in 3 years.

Crazily enough we got married last year, and I really did want it to work out. I didn't really want to go through with it but OH insisted and it got to the point where I felt as if I couldn't cancel all the plans and tell everyone.
Anyway nothing had changed; sometimes we bicker, argue, get angry, at least once a month I want to leave. He is a good man, and I do love him, but I don't fancy him and I don't even want to try at the moment.

Anyway I have never even approached a man before BUT this builder came to look at a leak in our house and in a split instant I just was attracted to him. I kept phoning on the pretext of getting work done just to hear his voice. For the first time in years I felt so girlish, and silly, I fancied someone. I can't bear the thought that I will carry on in my life not having sex ever again!!!! I feel like I want to have a last fling, to be desired and attractive again.

So to cut a long story short; builder and I have been exchanging texts and mean to meet up, though I don't know if I actually will. He is young and very fit, and wants to please me.
I wouldn't leave OH as we are life partners, I have even said to him that I wanted to meet other men...

I am aware that this sounds like ones of reader stories in The Sun or something....

Am totally knocked sideways by my attraction to the builder....

Affairs, why don't you fancy him? Is he fat? Emotionally cold? A prude? Pasty? Are you angry w him?

So desperate you're posting on a 5 year old thread

Your either totally out of love or it's a combination of midlife crisis and boredom which people can go through when in long term relationships. But we don't act on it.

Maybe your relationship is over but love comes in waves as far as I'm concerned, sometimes your drowning and sometimes the tides out.

Have you really talked about stuff?

ZOMBIE THREAD, reinstated by Daddy being a twat

I was properly getting into this too 😑

Just had this done to me for all the same reasons.. the flattery and the attention where his excuses!! WELL isnt he suffering now?!!!!

dont do it, you will regret it and it DOES affect the kids

Oh bugger, just wasted 15 minutes of my life reading this thread, only to discover this was 5 years ago - and I guess we'll never know whether she shagged the builder or sorted things out with the cuckold.

Sigh.

I hate it when zombie threads get resurrected for no reason.

I think the problem is just live too damned long nowadays. It used to be that by the time we had finished having kids, we were knackered and ready to drop dead, now, it's a whole new lease of life. No doubt both parties feel a bit lack lustre adn crave excitement, but there is guilt over emotional attachment and what it will do to the kids. Also, you have usually built a financial life together and everything else is ticking along nicely. Just because you may desire somebody else sexually, dos not necessarily mean you want to entrench them in every other part of your life. That could be a disaster and soon ruin any novelty sexual advantage. Stay put, be honest and suggest each of you have discrete liaisons? If he's happy, then fine, otherwise, maybe go your separate ways, but remember a sex parther is not necessarily a life partner.

ZOMBIE! Re-resurrected

Have some respect for yourself. This is low on so many levels.

Something else is wrong if you're considering that. Look deeper my lovely xxx

I'm ready to have an affair, we have had sex twice in the last year and two attempts at sex since christmas. We were supposed to be trying for another baby. But i guess thats all over now as he constantly makes excuses as to why he doesn't want to have sex with me. I feel unloved, unattractive, lonely and have been over eating to compensate. I have begged him to go to relate, but he says he can't justify the expense. I have asked him to leave and he won't, eventhough the house is mine. As he says he's done nothing wrong. I have explained that, that really isn't the point. We row all the time, we've had financial problems and i am now at my lowest point. I feel like a child begging for attention. I feel trapped and as though i can't move on becausr he won't let me. The only thing i can think of doing is looking for someone else. So that he'll listen and leave my house