I feel very nervous about posting this, but a couple of female friends have suggested that this can be used for dads as well as mums, so I'll try. Right, I'm a 33 year old man. I have been married for one year and was with my wife for two years before that, but I am not sure I love her any more and I don't think I ever did.
We met on an Internet dating site, were both teachers, although she did not like her job and regularly used to say she wanted to try something else. The relationship was serious, I thought I loved her, but it was in quite early stages when she became pregnant. I obviously accept responsibility for this, but I have to say she did say she was on the Pill, no problem, it happens but it was daunting. We bought a house together and our daughter was born in July 2010, she is a delight, I never thought I'd like babies but it's true it's different when it's your own. Unfortunately, our relationship really broke down. My partner had said she was going back to work part time in March 2011, so our daughter would have been 7 months. When that date came around, she announced she wasn't ready, unfortunately when she was unpaid from maternity leave it meant we couldn't pay the mortgage, and if my parents hadn't given us some money the house would have been in danger. She then said she couldn't leave our daughter and resigned. What I hate about this is that she didn't discuss it with me first and tells me I will have to do something about it. I've got a job working evenings and weekends behind a bar, as at the moment what I bring home from teaching just covers mortgage & bills. We "eat" the child benefit and the bar work money. It isn't much and i rarely see our daughter.
I know she posts on a lot of mum and baby forums and complains about me, saying she has to do everything around the house and cook all the time but what does she expect as I'm never in? Plus as I'm working 2 jobs and she's at home is it really unreasonable for her to do the housework/cooking? She thinks I am. I've begged her to just do a day of supply teaching a week as this would take so much financial pressure off us but she won't. On paper I earn a good salary but I see literally nothing of it. I feel ashamed I have to drive an old banger and work a second job like a student when the other members of staff who are in management roles at school don't. I know this is because of the mortgage but we can't really downsize due to having missed payments and have bad credit.
We don't get on at all, she criticises me all the time and probably feels I do the same to her but I feel as if I compromise on everything and she won't even budge to help.