he Just wont clean the house :... (

[fedupwithDP]

DP and I moved in to a house together 9 months ago, he puts put the bins and every now and then mows the lawn, I clean bathrooms, kitchen, hoover and mop every single room, polish wood, clean skirting boards, every time I have a day off.

When I ask him to hoover (which he has never done since we moved in) he says "it's my day off"

tonight when I said that I would pay for us to go to the cinema tomorrow night (he's broke) he said, why can't we go another night- the foot ball is on.

We rarely have sex, we argue nearly every time we're together.

Then when I said to him that, if we can't agree on household things now what will it be like if we have kids? He said it will be your baby but it's scary.

I am so angry with him that I even have to ask he should just do it Im not his mother.

He doesnt buy food for us but will happily eat everything that I buy and prepare- argggggh

Sorry for self indulgent angry post Im just so upset to realise that maybe we dont have the skills as a couple to go the distance

Move on when the tenancy ends. Your relationship has different ideals. Sad but, he's just Mr Right Now rather than Mr Right.

Er, what does he bring to this relationship?

Cocklodger.

Twat.

Don't be upset be thankful you've realised this relationship won't go the distance because he doesn't want a partner, he wants a domestic appliance (with a vagina attachment)

Right now I cant think about his qualities (he does have many) I am too

I feel so determined that we make a go of it letting go is going to take me a long time

If you don't want to still be doing this in ten years, with a screaming toddler hanging off you becasue daddy wont help you mind it, then you need to leave.

Men like this dont change.

Do not have children with this hopeless, cock lodging, man child.

You won't have one child, you'll have two.

You deserve better than him, you know that don't you?

Please, please don't have children with him.

He has no money, is a lazy shite, speaks to you disrespectfully and clearly thinks that domestic tasks and child-rearing are 'women's work'.

Please leave him, and find somebody lovely.

Im so attached to him he and I have been friends for many years and I am not perfect

No, no, no. Do not allow yourself to be convinced that he is all you deserve.

What about him are you attached to? What will you miss? The sex you don't have? The things you don't do together because he has no money? The arguments?

If this is what it's like in the "honeymoon" period of moving in together the resentment from you will only get worse!

Life's too short to be saddled with such a selfish man/child.Lose the looser.You won't though will you? < Oh but I love him so much >.Cop on Fedup and ditch him.Best of luck.Mx.

you could still be friends

nobody has to be perfect

you are more likely to end up hating him if you have children together.

Tell him that you are so terrified of what family life would be like with him you are contemplating leaving. But only if you genuinely are.

Thank you everyone I would say the same to someone, I am a bit lost at the moment and am not good with upheaval at the best of times so I will really struggle with this one.

Echoing everything Alibaba has said.

Physical attraction does not compensate for the years of resentment, misery, and regret that you will suffer. And what is the point in being physically attracted to him if you are rarely sexually active?

Looks won't always be there. His shittyness always will be. He won't change. The bar has already been set for him.

Good luck.

Please, please, please leave him . PLEASE

If I do I will tell you but it's more complex than that

Take it slowly. One step at a time. Where would you move to if you leave? Can you move back home or would you need to rent? If so I would suggest you start saving and formulate a get out plan.

Things will not get better. They will get worse except you will have children/babies and it will be even harder to leave.

Can only echo what everyone else has posted - he is telling you that your role is to do everything for the house and him and the children you plan to have.

my counsellor wisely said to me- do you think that ANY relationship can work, of you work hard enough at it?
Some people don't put any work in, or else you are mismatched and so it's not really worth the 'work'. Relationships with people like you describe your dp sounds like the former unfortunately.

Yes it's true, he doesn't contribute much to our home, Im sure after a few months of being apart I will be brave enough to look these inequalities in the eye.

It wont be easy splitting all of our possessions etc, I couldn't afford to live here on my own so Id have to just move out- I have a great job around here but no family.

I am so sad that it has come to this

I would be loosing a lot if I left here, I live in a lovely neighbourhood in an amazing rental house

Oh goodness, I'm not perfect and yet my DH can still push a broom round. Seriously, run- run like the wind.

Leave, be strong, be kind to yourself

If you have NO ties to him the only complex thing is to realise you love what he aint and will never be.

How much can you accumulate in 9 months? Get on the internet, go and look at some house shares with nice fun people and book a moving van. Speak to your landlord as well, see how the land lies there.