Why do so many couples have an anti social H?

[AnnaMosity]

Thinking of my circle of mates. Attractive dynamic women fun at social groups, who live with silent men who don't do parties or even chatting at kids activities.
One mare recently apologized for her h, and I thought it must be sad if you're socially mismatched.

Usual Mn disclaimers.

• yes it's not my business
• the Hs are often very nice one to one anything else that suggests I'm doing this maliciously. rolls eyes*

Ha AF, yes good point re AIBU!!

And you saying: 'I rarely talk about myself. Some of my friends call me a "mystery" and are convinced that still waters run deep. Erm no, I just don't feel the need to spill everything to everybody about my own private life' is eerily similar to myself actually. Who'd have thunk it!

Interesting thread this one. Glad it's not just me who seems to be a professional listening ear!

My DH is fairly introverted. He is happy that way. He will come out and go to events/dinners/parties if I ask, and will behave impeccably while there, but he'd much rather be somewhere with his own friends or reading a book. However, we are well matched, as I can find it difficult to socialise and get overwhelmed by large groups, and he is happy to attend for me and to act as a buffer.

My H thinks of himself as a bit introverted, but in a group situation he chats to everyone in turn, without even knowing he's 'working the room'.

His worst nightmare is being stuck with the 'limited' blokes who talk about football and, er, that's it. But he makes a decent stab at joining in. They don't seem to realise how out of his depth/bored he is.

He migrates towards the women, because we talk about much more interesting stuff, in general. As a result, all the women think he's wonderful. But he's just normal and I feel a bit sorry for them and their lunk head blokes.

My DH and I are as you describe and I disagree with you when you say this:

"it must be sad if you're socially mismatched"

Nope. It suits us just fine.

I like to go out and meet people, socialise etc but I don't enjoy socialising in a couple (and this is not due to DH - have had much more outgoing partners in the past and still not enjoyed it) and I hate hosting any kind of event, having others visit my home and being a guest in other people's homes.

Love going out to the pub/restaurant etc, love the company of my friends and very happy to leave DH at home looking after the DC while I do this. DH enjoys his own company/watching TV undisturbed.

Win win. Nothing to be sad about

Neitherof us socialise that much. We are both busy with work, kids hobbies and our hobbies involve other people but it's not like dinner parties or lots of people going to the pub. We both hate that sort of thing. When I'm with a group of people it's because we are doing something together. If I go to a "social event" I usually end up getting irritated by 1 or 2 people who love the sound of their own voices not letting anyone else get a word in edgeways.

great question.
I've wondered the same.
DOn't know the answer