The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Starting the Summer Filled With Luscious Mocktails.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I used to drink far too much. Too much vodka to be exact, then too much wine, then too much cider....... you can imagine how it went.

This Bus is full of people like me, and people like you actually. Sober people, drinkers, a few not surers, and those who are simply 'somewhere'.

The one thing that we have in common is that we can/do/did/will abuse alcohol.

Some for a number of years, some months, some for their entire adult (and before) lives.

The support here is for everyone. Those in AA, those who are taking medication to help, those going it alone, those with the support of others. We're all here for the same reason.

Why not come and say hello? We are all so very different in our every day lives but we all have a common theme.....

And, for those who want to see where all of this began 2 years ago, HERE IS a link to all of the past Bus rides.

BOING!!

great list theresafire! - you will be daily amazed at how quickly those goals are achieved!

today i am mostly doing nothing! it is only weeks till my dd gets married, my df is on the mend, my garden looks slightly less droopy (mostly due to the whole day i put in to it yesterday) dh has got a new contract (will go some way in paying for said wedding) so today, i will be reading the sunday papers in the garden, drying a bit of washing and going out for dinner with my everso lovely dh! this year has been a roller coaster of emotions, all felt and dealt with sober! next emotion i have to deal with is seeing dd say 'i do', dh says im to practice silent crying as wailing will make me look a loon!

I'm afraid I have had a two day chocolatefest due to all the presents I got at work!! So the diet starts again on Monday

I love not drinking. So true about the extra energy. It's so hard to get off that treadmill - drink - feel crap - drink to feel better - feel crap . . .

But once you are off it it's brill. Life is brighter, sharper and yes I do feel all emotions more strongly, the bad as well as the good but at least I'm living, choosing, controlling my own decisions now.

Looking back it's starting to feel like I was another person. How could I have let that bit of liquid in a bottle take so much of my time, energy, money, head space?

I know I could so easily go back there but in a funny way, I also know I never will. I just don't want to. That all encompassing craving, nagging, call it what you will, has just . . . gone

I have discovered that I don't do very much in moderation. It's not just drink, it's all sorts of other things like cleaning and food and relationships and exercise. I need to feel in control and if I'm not, if I let go even a tiny little bit I go into a sort of free-fall and let go completely. That is what I am learning to cope with. I am trying to learn moderation in everything I do.

I am outwardly quite a laid back person, I don't get stressed or depressed. I am tolerant, I don't take offence easily, live and let live would be my motto. But I do have a very small comfort zone and am scared of lots of things, especially new things. So I like to control my environment as much as I can.

Controlling drinking has helped me in so many areas of my life. It's made me realise that I can. And if I can do that, I can do other things too. The support on this bus is tremendous and the life you can have beyond alcohol is impossible to describe but so worth the effort.

If you can get through one day without a drink, you can do it. If you can get through one day, that is all you need to do. Anyone can do it. Just make that commitment, don't think about tomorrow, next week, Christmas, just think about right here, right now.

And that, my friends, was going to just be a quick post to say hi, I'm here, not drinking and enjoying the sunshine

< lobs factor 30 suncream at everyone >

The open-top upper deck is now officially open for summer, free ice lollies for the first 10 babes x

< Flips ice lolly over shoulder to JWN in her garden >

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

I have had my e-mail hacked and I'm so super pleased about it - NOT! Have I told you all that?

Anyway, fire - I love your list, and I loved Soma's list too! I am a lover of lists!

Soma - down a bra size here too after spending a fortune in new bra's only a few months back..... I'm a 32H but have gone down because my bras are now lose. How is your EX's DD? Is she okay with the weather changes? How is she generally? xx

Faire - hello you, not 'seen' you for ages, (missed your posts) so it's great to see a good long post from you. So positive and really happy. I love the changes in you! I often wonder if there are people out there who can relate to one or more of us Babes and think 'that's me too!' when they read these threads and posts.

I hope that the 'other person' feeling stays with you and you continue to nail the bastard booze!

Ma - nice to see you back..... how are things? How is DD getting on with her singing? xx

Thurso - I need to PM you about a Nemo related subject, will try and do it today.

Nemo hates the heat so whilst I love the sun and can turn a golden brown just by walking past a window in this weather, it makes him super grumpy and rather yuk to be around.

He's always had trouble regulating his temperature, rather like me, his thermostat is bust but for a very different reason

Joey - you got to seven weeks didn't you? So get there again. Don't let one hiccup let you feel like you've fucked up, you've not, you've just slipped on that slippery slope and it's the first time isn't it? In seven weeks? Or certainly not a regular slip.

Pick your ass up lady and get back to it. If you want to that is, if something has really upset you, you might not be quite ready. Life can throw all kinds of shit at us and just when we think we've got it sorted and know our dealing mechanisms, we slip. No biggy, unless you make it into one, just carry on not drinking.

The weather - now then. How many of us are thinking about an ice cold glass of something lush sat out in the garden or at a nice pub? I am. I was the moment I woke up after a night of horrendous, ongoing pain and getting stuck in bed yet again.

I thought 'fuck it, I'm making some Pimms tomorrow' and I will. BUT not because of last night, or because Nemo is hitting me all the time and I have to keep my "Happy Mummy As Always" mask on.

Not because I want to get w@nkered. Not because I want to forget anything actually.

I am going to make a jug of Pimms and invite the two blokes next door who are also in their garden sorting stuff (DH has been outside for aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages and is trying to sort the issues we've had with Seth out, but that's another post entirely!) and sit quietly, reading Nemo some stories, or playng with him later on.

It'll be nice to sit out watching the day come to an end as the sun colours the sky beautiful shades of deep blues, warm purples, vibrant pinks and soft oranges.

I hope that you're all okay today. The lure of an ice-cold drink or seven is a hard craving to handle. Especially when we've had nothing but rain for the last 6 months!!!

Right, more washing out, Nemo needs a feed, and I need to make sure we have ice-cream and Pimms ingredients for later.

Oh, and...........

JWN - I have no idea if my mother cried at my wedding. My wonderful father (step, real one said he didn't want to come) told me that he was 'so very proud of me' and that one line, will stay in my heart for the rest of my life. Step father or not, he means the world to me and I felt nothing but complete honour to have him by my side as I walked down the aisle to marry the love of my life.

I assume that your DH is giving DD away? Well, if he is anything like my father, then he will be fantastic. Bringing up another man's child/ren is no easy task, and one that not every person can do so selflessly.

I hope that your DH and DD will be together as father and daughter on her big day, it can be the most difficult thing in the world for your DH to do, the man who has raised her to the best of his ability, now has to let go of that, a little at least, and trust another to love and care for his daughter, in the way that she deserves to be cared for. I hope your DH knows just how valuable he is?

Now the bloomin tv has crashed so off I go to sort that out!

Back later lovely Babes - stay strong xx

Joey just seen your post to me re. the aggressive dog. Well, she has to wear a muzzle when I'm walking her with other dogs as she keeps trying to scrap with them. The good news is that she is fine with the muzzle and it has made walking her much easier.

I'm still annoyed with the owners for not telling me about how aggressive she is, though. Really irresponsible, given that they know I walk dogs in groups.

Thanks for asking :)

hey mouse
Yes. Dd is still singing and has a lot of rehearsals these next few weeks as she is singing in a show at the Festival in August!
I am on day 2 after finally being sick of carrying all this extra weight around - its depressing me how fat I am and we even went clothes shopping today and I came back even more depressed because I couldn't find anything nice . I need to cut out carbs too and know you did it recently succesfully. Any tips? i simply cannot cut them all out, its impossible. Bread, pasta, potatoes are my favourite foods. Am hungy now and want something light - toast? Carb! Sandwich? Carb? Fruit? Sick of it and its not filling. I NEED to lose some weight to feel better about myself. help

greyhound my dog was 'attacked' by a JRT wearing a muzzle. Despite knowing he couldn't actually hurt anyone, my daughter was upset and scared, my dog was obviously upset - muzzle or not, it was clear what the JRTs intentions were, and dogs can't understand that actually there wasn't any danger. The reason I mention this is because I don't think its fair on the other dogs to be feeling that stress.

This rogue dog needs training/therapy/walking on his own. AND its not fair on you either - what if somehow he did manage to attack another dog - would you be held responsible? If I was the owner of one of the others that you walk I would be disappointed to hear about this situation.

Okay, I've actually just read your post and you say that she is okay now, so I hope its working out.

am back on the wine.

Its not exactly that I'm scared of a specific incident, its just a low-level anxiety all teh time that I want to go away. I got some good advice (although somone on the Employment Thread suggested a glass of wine!! ha ha) and have made notes to take in to work tomorrow.

Facing up to fears - perhaps if I face up to what is really worrying me - well I suppose it is they might sack me. Obviously not for having CFS but they could find something else. Surfing mumsnet while at work. Sending personal emails. Turning up to work with a hangover. The stupid thing is, the more anxious I get, the more stupid things I do

joey having some notes to take into work is good. Facing up to things is good. Whatever you can imagine is probably much worse than what will actually happen (and then a huge chunk of that worry will have been for nothing). I completely understand that when you feel so anxious, having a glass of wine seems like a good idea, but I'm wondering if you could possibly stop after one glass, and have a cup of tea and a nice bath instead.

Big waves to all who are posting and lurking x

Hi Joey good luck tomorrow, just think of all the Brave Babes smiling and waving at you all day and watching your back.
Please don't drink too much tonight, it really won't help you tomorrow, you need to walk in with head held high!
Keep focussed, refer to your notes or take a walk to the water cooler or loo when you feel anxious or unsure, and try not to spend time websurfing whilst they are keeping an eye on you, instead visualise us all, supporting you and cheering you on.
X

bproud thanks, I have written this on my notes 'visualise everyone one the bus'

but sometimes I think 'but you're not real, you're just people on the internet whom I've never met, whereas the wine IS real'

sorry I don't mean that to be rude it's probably time for me to go to bed...

I'm real Joey.

I am sitting in a chocolate brown leather armchair with my feet up on a matching leather footstool and a mug of peppermint tea. I have a natural pinewood table to my right and a window on my left overlooking a wild garden.

I have a family, a job and a cat. We are all real people with hearts and minds and we care, we do care, so much, about you and all the others who post here.

Yes, do visualise us. I have a picture in my mind of venus and mouse and jwn and isinde and soma and mia and saf and msgee and sarah and theboss and thurso and silver and so many others who have shared so much of their lives and their experiences.

Do think of us as your own private army. We will support and help you my friend.

< lobs Mouse a cheese flavoured ice lolly >

Brilliant post faire!!

Sometimes I think we're more real here, because we don't have to pretend anything to anyone - we don't have to be brave or strong or always-there, or funny, or clever, or the "little sister", or happy, or sober, or piss-head-fun, or anything else.

I Have been a lurker for a few weeks. Just checking in as a newbie .
Was prompted to check in at this point due to identifying with aliasjoey.
As Ive had my usual tonight "TOO MUCH WINE" I won't bore you all with detail at this point. Suffice to say I would like to board your bus.
Joey; Thanks for getting me onboard even if it was your temporary lapse that clinched it; On that note pleasetry to get back on track find things to do, eat, drink,(to escape reality if you are like me)
that do not involve alcohol, if possible

Hi there rural and well done for posting - sometimes making that first post is the most terrifying thing, actually putting down in writing something about our drinking.

So now, what are your plans for today? Do you usually drink too much every day, or is it just on some days? and are you trying to cut down or stop altogether for a while? There'll be people around with lots of ideas to help you whatever you're trying to do (even if all you want to do is come to terms with what your current habits are).

Hi, Can I have a ticket too, please? I've been lurking and reading the treads for the past little while, for the first time in a very long while I had managed to cut my drinking down to a very manageable level. I really enjoyed this little window of clarity but I've had a difficult time at work combined with a few special occasions and sadly, I've lapsed. I'm working hard to regain ground but I'd really love some help if any of you lovely ladies are inclined to be kind.

Hello and welcome to rural and guggen well done for posting

Monday is a whole new week. I'm back on my diet today so definitely no alcohol for me. I'm also off work for the summer so going to try and be very active so that I'm not tempted to nibble. Lots of lovely salads for me I think.

Still enjoying the sunshine here. Hose got a little red yesterday, will he never learn to put suncream on before he goes out? Hope everyone else is doing ok.

Mouse I hope this break in the weather makes things a little easier for Nemo. How is he getting on with his respite worker these days, any improvement?

See you all later x

Hi everyone and welcome aboard guggenheim.
Third time lucky,lost two posts so far, never joined a forum before and not really got me head around this posting thing yet, bit computer illiterate iyswim.

Venus; thanks for the reply to my first post, you are right it was scary.
Reading all your stories gave me the strength to do it.
Sort of made me think perhaps I am not a lost cause and I must try to get some control over the demon drink.

Today my plan is not to have a drink, sounds simple but as you and everyone else on this bus knows its not.

My first real goal is to have two alcohol free days preferably together.

At this moment in time that seems a big mountain to climb.

I drink too much everyday. Amount wise at least a bottle of wine some days as much as two.
If occasionally I have to take a night off because the wine has run out I become snappy impatient and basically not nice to those around me. I can't get to sleep. I can't concentrate etc etc.
Next morning All I think about is getting to the shop to buy more.

This post is starting to ramble on, sorry ladies.

Just like to add, glad I Jumped aboard an as the other new passenger guggenheim said any help you ladies can give will be much appreciated.

I find it really helpful to just take it one day, hour, minute at a time. Just get through 'right now' and don't even think about 'next'.

So if you are not going to drink rural, what are you going to do instead? It helps to keep your hands and mind busy. Change some of your routines and habits. Maybe eat earlier than usual, go out for a walk at the time when you would normally drink, or drive somewhere a bit further afield so that you have to drive back.

Make sure you have lots of other nice things to drink, soft drinks, teas, cordials and something tasty to nibble on, or sweeties to suck. Mints are good because nothing tastes nice after eating mints.

Do you have any rl support, a friend you can call if you're tempted? Or just come back here and give a shout, there's usually someone around who will be happy to chat

Oh, and a little tip about losing posts. If you highlight what you have written and right-click on it, you can copy it before you post it. Then, if you lose it you can just 'paste' it back in.

Now, those of you who know me will be aware that I am a terrible procrastinator and list maker rather than a get on and get it done-er. So I am setting myself some small goals as there are loads of jobs I need to catch up on. Today I have booked a plumber for a blocked drain. Fingers crossed he turns up.

Hello all

Hello Rural and Guggenheim, Faires idea of changing ideas and habits is a really good one. I used to get all my jobs done by about late afternoon (I work mostly mornings) dinner ready, etc, and about 5.30 get the thought that a glass of wine would be a good idea, but now, I often "schedule" something to do around that time, even if it's the ironing!! Once "the big urge " for that first one passes it's easier.

Well, I am plugging away at my college work today, and looking longingly out at the garden. I planted a wildflower "patch" earlier this year (well, planted not quite the word, I shook a packet of seeds in an abandoned manner at some mud!), and theyhave grown really big, and loads of colourful chaffinches have taken a shine to the pink ones .

Dh and I had a lovely day yesterday, after me moaning the other day, we walked for miles along the seafront, and took a little ferry to a wild(ish) beach, and walked some more. It will take us a while to get used to being on our own this summer, but we're trying (well, obviously he is bl**dy trying sometimes , bless him)

Lunch calls
Lots of love
xxxx

g'day everyone, I hope the weather is as lovely where you are as it is here

oh dear, back on Day 1 again, and I know how hard the next few days are going to be stay on the bus.

At the moment, I am having to cover someone else's job as she's not here - so I haven't even read the list I made! No wonder I feel overwhelmed...

Hello, thank you for the kind replies.

Rural- big wave to you. Wine is my problem too and I have been drinking too much for the past fifteen years (old gimmer,me).What's worse is that I'm a rubbish drinker, I'm silly after a couple of glasses, argumentative and wobbly after a few more and then I'm sick. I sound like a great person to have round for christmas, don't I ?

But I've worked hard and had made huge progress towards giving the vino the boot.I felt very proud of myself but I have stupidly allowed myself to drink freely for a couple of weeks,I had no idea how difficult it would be to get back on track.

I will beat this thing, it's not flipping having the better of me!

Soma your words were very encouraging, thankyou, I would like that. Yours too JWN . I seem to really lose control of my controlled drinking if I row with DH. It,s my worst trigger. Thank God school goes back here tomoro, it gives my days more structure.

Hi Babes, hope you're all enjoying the sunshine. I've just caught up with thread having had a busy week or so and not been online much. Had parents down for a few days which has been lovely, but I'm still incapable of enjoying a social evening without wine, it seems. That would have been ok really in that I wasn't drinking excessively, but then on Saturday night my neighbours had a party. I popped over, glass of wine in hand, 'just to say hi' intending to only stay for twenty minutes as we'd been out all day and were all knackered...

Well I expect you can guess what happened next. I stayed until about 1.30am, got absolutely hammered and felt incredibly ill yesterday. Everyone else was quite drunk too I think so hopefully I didn't make too much of a tit of myself, but I'm embarrassed nonetheless and feeling toxic, sluggish and dull. Had several glasses of wine last night too [idiot emoticon], otherwise I'd probably be feeling a bit better today.

Well serves me utterly right so I'm certainly not looking for sympathy. Back on the bus for me this week. Feels very quiet here as DD is away with her dad at a home-ed festival in Suffolk (thankfully the sun is shining for them!) - I'm glad she didn't see me so hungover yesterday!

Welcome to all the new Babes! Hello to all the veteran and between-newbie-and-veteran Babes!
((((Soma)))) how's it going with Alfie and MrSTM?
((((Joey)))) sorry to hear you've been feeling so rubbish. You've done so well for so long without any of the encouragement/reinforcement of feeling better for it - it just doesn't seem fair. Don't beat yourself up for this blip, we're all rooting for you!
Faire I now have a vivid image of you sitting in your chocolate leather armchair enjoying a refreshing herbal tea!
Mouse I hope Nemo isn't suffering too much (or making you suffer!) in this heat.