The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Starting the Summer Filled With Luscious Mocktails.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I used to drink far too much. Too much vodka to be exact, then too much wine, then too much cider....... you can imagine how it went.

This Bus is full of people like me, and people like you actually. Sober people, drinkers, a few not surers, and those who are simply 'somewhere'.

The one thing that we have in common is that we can/do/did/will abuse alcohol.

Some for a number of years, some months, some for their entire adult (and before) lives.

The support here is for everyone. Those in AA, those who are taking medication to help, those going it alone, those with the support of others. We're all here for the same reason.

Why not come and say hello? We are all so very different in our every day lives but we all have a common theme.....

And, for those who want to see where all of this began 2 years ago, HERE IS a link to all of the past Bus rides.

Morning all

It's peeing with rain here but apart from that I'm feeling quite chipper. Struggling with the diet a bit. I just can't seem to get back into my stride but will have a think on that and come up with some kind of plan. In the meantime I'm sort of 'maintaining' which is the worst of both worlds really < sigh >

The weather is barmy. That's a fact. No idea what to expect from one day to the next. I have recently discovered there is a whole topic on MN devoted to weather. How very British!

Hope everyone is ok, it's gone a little quiet recently, not a good sign. Mousie Mousie Mouse are you alright my little furry one? Are you still suffering? Come for a lie down on the bus and we'll play some soothing music through the stereo and bring you a constant supply of cheese.

Saf has real life taken over and kidnapped you from us?

Hope everyone else is doing alright, speak later x

< waves to lurkers >

Limit, best of luck today.

Faire, really has gone quiet on thread, weather here is strange too, very dead and warm, and then out of the blue, rain! As someone said, you bring your umbrella to work coz it's raining, and then use it as a parasol on your way home:)

hello.

Fed up. Miserable. Anxious. Stressed. Andgry.

Want wine. Want chocolate. Want holiday.

Day 1 for me again. Have to try harder. I feel so low, why can't I get on top of this?

Thankyou obrigada

Back from GP, I am very shocked to announce that my LFT was ok, my liver is OK! Im gobsmacked, after all I have done to the poor thing!

The bad news is that my red blood cell count was very high, I couldn't quite understand what he meant but he said it indicates that something has started to go wrong, reducing my drinking will sort this out.

Have finally been offered an appointment with the harm outreach team for 13th July, bit miffed it cant be quicker than that really but Ill just keep on carrying on until then.

(((joey)))

(((skippy)))

XX

Forgot to mention tired also.

skippy I'm sure you are trying hard! The addiction can be stronger though. Keep working at it, every day without alcohol adds up. Do you know why sometimes you give in? Stress, boredom, hunger? If you can spot the triggers, and have a plan on dealing with them it will help.

My triggers are lack of sleep and anxiety. (which of course make each other worse!)

I've replaced alcohol with sleeping tablets and ice-cream. Also, an addiction to Mumsnet which is driving DH mad

My triggers are loneliness boredom stress and also I have a strong compulsion to drink as a reward for when things go well. Have drank the last three nights. Am taking it easy today and will not be drinking tonight. I know in my heart and soul I am an alcoholic, I haven't sank to the depths of losing jobs and relationships but I know that's where I'm headed. I'm so scared of whats ahead of me if I carry on down this path. I'm do afraid for my little baby, what kind of life can I offer her, why wasn't she sent to someone better? She dosent deserve this.

Morning, tis me, Mouse

HR - thank you lovely lady but I'm not driving, the Bus is on autopilot whilst we wait for Silver to come back because I'm in far too much pain to drive .

cgno - not sure that sugesting taking LSD to a group of addicts/recovering addicts is such a good idea but thanks for taking the time to add the links for us

Diana - nice to meet you and in answer to your question, after many failed attempts, I am now, for today, in control of my drinking. The thought of drinking wine makes me feel physically sick. I do still have a drink on occasion but that might be once a month, week at most but it's no longer something that I enjoy or need to have a good time.

Soma - THIS is what we feed Seth, it's got no 'fillers' in like the more 'commercial' dry dog foods, I used to give him THIS but found it much more expensive and not that much better for him.

Sorry I've not been around, epic post alert

I've have been having a rough few weeks with my pain and yesterday lay in bed (I was looking after Nemo in our bed as he's poorly) for 2 hours, crying and not being able to move at all, until DH walked past the bedroom door an I managed to whisper him.

We managed to get an emergency GP appt who, at the end of telling her that I am unable to turn or get out of bed, said there was nothing she could do because I've had everything that she can give me for the pain and said she was amazed I was awake. She asked about everything I'd already tried. Clearly not read my notes and we were 45 mins late going in too. DH was not best pleased, especially as Nemo is poorly with a horrendous cough and runny nose, which means more puking, a reduction in feed and increase in water and lots of cuddles which is hard due to my own pain.

Anyway, DH kinda lost it and said we're going private and that he wanted the Doc to write a letter asap.

Sorry not to name check everyone, welcome aboard new babes

Will try to read back........................

Joey - do you want to talk about anything? Sorry you are suffering. xx

aww mouse what an awful time you're having. Can you ask to be referred to a pain specialist? There is always something that can be done, but a GP who hasn't read your notes may not be able to help much!

Puts my issues into perspective, I'm just feeling pathetic and sorry for myself. Worrying about my daughter, spending too long on the computer (mumsnet!) and suffering RSI as a result and feeling guilty about everything...

Joey - I've been under one of the UK's best Pain Consultants who specialises in the spine for over a year. He too has run out of options so has referred me via my GP, to a spinal surgeon but....... all the GPs and he said that it was doubtful they would operate because of where the bulging disc is.

It's L5 if anyone knows about backs.

Joey - Puts my issues into perspective, I'm just feeling pathetic and sorry for myself. Worrying about my daughter, spending too long on the computer (mumsnet!) and suffering RSI as a result and feeling guilty about everything

Errrrm, nope, it doesn't. What is important to you, important enough to make you feel miserable, anxious, scared..... anything like that IS important and DOES matter to us as well, because it all has a direct affect on YOUR life.

I'm sorry but I don't know what has happened with you daughter?

silver - bloody awesome effort! am seriously impressed

thank you mouse I hope you can find some answers, did you see your usual GP or just someone on call?

There's nothing really happened to my daughter, I'm just concerned because she's got a very busy weekend ahead of her - she sings - and I worry that she will be exhausted/ill/stressed and that I am a bad mother for not having organised/planned it all better. Somehow she's ended up with tonight rehearsal 5-8pm, tomorrow rehearsal and show 3-8pm, Sunday rehearsal and concert 3-9pm, Tuesday all day festival 10-3pm. She's only 9! When we signed up I didn't realise it would be so intensive and unluckily it has all come together on the same weekend. Yesterday she was off school because she was so worn out. And I had to take the day off work, which made me feel even more guilty.

I am not a pushy parent, and really feel bad about the pressure she's under. The dance instructor told me that if she didn't come to all the rehearsals she would lose her solo. Also I failed to get the right clothes in time (I assumed they would provide uniform) I hope the stuff I've got is okay.

Am not convinced that this particular dance/choir school is the best for her, but she won a scholarship so its free for a year, and anyway she says she likes it, but she's 9 and PFB...

Sorry its so long

Joey - it's a case of let's see who's around..... DH lost it with her and I was very very but she was totally understandable. Luckily.

As for you being a rubbish mum or whatever you called yourself, I've seen far worse on these threads. You're putting BOTH of you under pressure!

Do what you can. I find it cruel that the instructor can say that to her/you about the solo.

Big hugs xxx

yeah, I know I'm over-reacting, she will be fine and the instructor was just being a bit precious... but as well as everything else it all just made me feel very anxious.

I've been dry for nearly 3 weeks and this is the first time I really wanted a drink. I do hope Sainsburys still have 2-for-1 on ice-cream

I hope you're feeling better today. Does your body get used to the painkillers/would it help to swap drugs for a bit...? (sorry if thats of no help at all)

Joey - she'll be fine. My ds is PFB as well lol. Sounds like the instructor was being a bit tricky, for want of a better word.

CGNO Re. Salvia I think it's pretty dangerous to try and replace one drug with another, especially something so controversial. AFAIK it isn't illegal (could be wrong) but I wouldn't risk taking something like that.

Joey - my body gets saturated after a while and the effects of the drug(s) wears off. Here's a bit of background for you..... so I started with paracetamol and ibuprofen, then moved up to paracetamol and co-codamol, then tramadol, then TENS with taking the tramadol, diclofenac, pregabalin, amitriptyline, then MST which is what I'm on now and is slow release morphine over 12 hrs (pha!) plus oramorph, liquid morphine, 400mgs ibuprofen and also diazepam now.

So, all in all, I've kind of been through the lot.

I really hope that you've got yourself some ice-cream tonight, funny, that's my treat for the night too!!

Best get Nemo some PJs on and medded, he's full of a nasty cold again. Plus, his feeding tube came out yesterday, he'd been for a sleep and when we got up (I may have had a doze with him ) his tube had come out.

I tried to replace it, thinking that the only long tube I had looked a bit odd, as if it were solid at the end. He screamed at both attempts for me to get it in, the first he actually stopped breathing.

Turns out that when I examined the tube, it has a piece of metal in the end, where it would normally bend and follow the line of the throat. So, when he couldn't breathe, it had gone into one of his lungs. That's how serious it can be if the tube goes the wrong way down....

I managed to find a short tube, thankfully, and got it in first time. Nemo was so very brave and let me do it with the shorter one even though he chocked on the first two attempts.

Anyway, DH is now ill as well as Nemo so we're a right bunch of crocs, luckily (so far) DD is okay .

Where is everyone? How are the newer Babes doing on FrightNight? (I'm naming Friday night because Friday night seems to be the night when everyone feels that their resolve not to drink will fail as it's often 'down the pub after work night' or 'reward night')

Silver - did I see that you'd done 5 days? Well done xx

MsGee - everything okay? I know that you're friend had a baby recently, that is so cruel but you can't say that. You have to smile and be happy for them. It's not their fault etc etc. I know that feeling far too well sweetheart. You know where I am. Don't ruin all of your hard work, maybe let this little slip happen and then nail the bastard again?

I must go and serve dinner. And then to bed with all of the poorly Mice........ I seem to be going to bed much earlier...... but the earlier I go when Nemo is ill, the more sleep I get....

Be strong and Brave Babes xx

mouse I understand you've tried everything, but was under the impression that you could go back and use something which used to work before your body got used to it & it might work again (for a bit) ?? Obviously I don't really know...

FrightNight is about right! I really nearly caved and got wine tonight. I have a lot of pudding and chocolate instead.

Hi Ladies can I jump on your bus please? I have been lurking and trying to cut back and just feel as though I am on groundhog day everyday. Wake up, hungover not massively but enough to be grumpy with the kids, first thought is "right now i'm stopping - this is silly" struggle through the day and by the time dinner and kids bed time comes I have "just one" to smooth the edges off my day and help me unwind. Ofcourse 1 glass turns into 3 or 4 and off I go again the next day. I am soooo bored, and depressed of it all and am just struggling to stop. So its day 1 for me.

Out for the day but I will sign in later

DH just caught me writing that post, so now he knows how I feel. We have been having lots of problems which is probably a catalist to my drinking. I think I am really quite depressed and can't work out if its my relationship that is crap or if the drinking is making it worse! Time for me to get a grip on this problem.

I'll sign in again later.
TM x

Boing! A rather knackered one actually but not hungover because I'm not drinking! I did a bad thing last night, I let Alfie sleep with me (one of the advantages of being single). He was in his dog bed on the end of my bed most of the time, but got under the covers with me twice :) He has the rumbliest stomach ever though but at least he wasn't farting I know that from now on he'll want to sleep with me and will whine in his crate if he doesn't - do you doggie people out there think I've been unwise?

Anyway, let's talk about drinking. I've stopped counting the days I've been sober but it must be at least 6 weeks now. I don't miss it, I don't crave it and I only think about it occasionally. Am going on holiday to France with friends in a month's time, they like a bit of wine so that's going to be a challenge but am not going to think about it at the moment.

Tuff a big welcome to you. I was you, hungover enough most days to be impatient with DD, fed up with myself, just waiting for the moment I could open a bottle of wine because I thought it made me happy. I was wrong. It didn't make me happy. I've become a new person without drink, I love to engage with people, plan things with DD (she's 12, how old are yours?), go for long walks with my little dog (with us only a week) and next week I'm meeting two different friends and I'm going to suggest a walk in the park first (with Alf of course) followed by a drink in the Fighting Cocks which is dog-friendly and the oldest pub in England.

I'll be drinking coffee which I love or a diet-coke and they can have their wine. I literally feel like a new person and that I'm facing the world and not needing a booze-head to do it because it's so much more rewarding without. I needed antabuse to start me on this journey and it's working for me but isn't a popular choice I know (apart from my buddy Hopefully). So please stick around, I'm sure that if you try to do something about your drinking you'll be clearer about what's going on in your relationship and can work on it with a clear head. My marriage broke down because it was crap AND I was drinking but I never got the chance to see what it would have been like if I hadn't been drinking!

Thinking of you Mouse and how you strong you are for everyone else and so want you to find something that works. I know where L5 is, I went out with a man a couple of years ago who was paralysed from L4 down after a terrible car accident. It didn't work out because we weren't right for eachother (nothing to do with his disability) but what an eye-opener it was to be with someone who had to live with that. He used to be an airline pilot and now works in senior management for an airline and we flew first class to the States and some other places! Joey don't beat yourself up about DD, mine was on her knees last week after Yr 7 exams and they push the girls like crazy. I let her have a day off because she was literally crying with exhaustion. Hope things good with you Mia. Will check back later x

Yes, was a mistake to let Alf in bed with me - he's peeed downstairs even though I let him out first thing. I'm rushing things, need to slow it down!

Soma I don't know much about dogs except that you need to show them who's boss. Probably best not to have him on your bed, or even in your room. Especially if you are hoping for some, erm, romantic evenings in the not too distant future. Don't want him frightening off Mr Spellsright do you

Tuff do you have a plan for today? What will you do differently to stop yourself having that first drink.

Boing and more boing here. Been crazy busy but just had to say dear Soma you sound FANTASTIC!! As to the dog thang, my JRT The Limpet sleeps with me too, so whatever, I have had dogs all my life, and he is my constant companion, it's a big bed plenty of room for the old boy, well both of them
Love me love my dog I say.

Mouse on the meds your are on, I am amazed that you can still do what you do, I wish I had a magic wand for you, such a special lady.

Tuff I have been abstinent for years, all I can say is try to have a break from the booze, life without it is not always a bowl of cherries, but you can at least be measured in decision making and a great gift that comes from being AF is patience with everyone. I am possibly the most fiery person on the planet by nature, but without drinking I can control my temper and be gentle with myself and others. The babes here will be of enormous support and if your dh knows how you feel then it's perhaps after a few days booze free you can have a good talk. Boredom is a trigger for many, the babes have top tips to fill the void.

All other babes have a safe and happy weekend.

Hi Sarah, mine is called The Barnacle! Great point about abstinence making you more patient; I'm also a "hot-head" (one of DM's favourite terms of endearment) but have managed not to lose it much recently, even with call-centre staff at Sky or DD moaning constantly about her non-existent blackheads!

Faire when I had Alfies little body near mine last night I was actually glad it wasn't a man! I don't know what's wrong with me; one moment I'd love to be with someone and the next the idea doesn't appeal at all. I'm probably scared that if I meet someone I like it'll just go tits-up like it always does. Still haven't decided whether or not to meet Mr Sex Toy Man and am almost certain I'll get cold feet at the last moment.