That's the end of that, then

[GitAwfMayLend]

Me and DP have been teetering on the brink for a good year now. Have tried and tried but it hasn't worked (for loads of dull reasons, have rambled on on threads about it on MN before).

DD went away on Friday, we haven't really spoken since. We were invited to a Jubilee party at the weekend, we didn't go in the end. Couldn't bear the pretence that we are happy amongst his family (all of whom are happy).

I am sleeping in DD's room. We have just had a conversation and decided that we can't go on like this. So that's it. I am going to move out.

Not excellent timing as DD is in middle of GCSEs, so will wait until those are over I think before telling her, which will give me time to plan and for us to sort finances out.

I feel like shit, but not as bad as Ithought. Am fine but have pangs every so often when I remember.

One thing - I will NEVER believe it again. Never. We really did love each other and look what it has turned into. Never, ever, ever again.

Just a ramble on, no need to respond.

I haven't cried at all but just typing that out has made me cry. I am so pissed off and sad - but I know it is the right thing to do.

Poor bloody DD.

I want to move a million miles away but I know that running away isn't the thing (I have even considered applkying for a job in Ghana, only thing stopping me is DD and her schooling).

(((((hugs)))))))

Have you got somewhere to go?? X

:(

Sorry to hear this but you might some relief at not having to pretend and hold it together anymore.

Be gentle with yourself and ramble all you need to.

(((((((first ever mn hugs to you)))))£

I know how ridiculous that sounds (Ghana!).

and a random £.

Wish I could send you that!

Thank you

Charlie your name always makes me laugh.

I haven't anywhere to go - looking at flats/houses to rent. I can afford it so that's no an issue.

Oh god, sorry this is you. Also sorry this has been and will continue to be so long drawn-out. Oh it's just grim. Can you book a fabulous holiday for you and DD for after she's done her GCSEs?

I really, really don't want to stay round here. I would love to move away but I feel that I have to give DD some stability, so need to stay here where all her friends are.

But I hate this place. But it's only 2 more years (whislt she is at 6th form).

Fucking memories everywhere.

Yes schobe - that's the plan (well, it will have to be October half term because of work reasons but am going to book something)

I am sorry to hear that , I think it probably feels extra miserable because its meant to be a time of celebration

FWIW if things are wrong then the sooner you deal with that and start the process of splitting up the better

Its a horrible time but trust me you will feel happy and content again

God we were so smitten with each other when we met.

I haven't been able to remember but now we have decided to split all I can remember is our happy times together, it is like the memories have come back to spite me.

I'm really very sorry for you
You are being very brave to do this. We had friends who had been together 15 years but were very miserable. It took them so long to be honest with each other and then once they were out of it, much much happier.
Your DD will understand, she will want you (and your DP) to be happier.

Agree, book lovely holiday for you and her after GCSEs.

Look after yourself, be kind. (why don't you watch some FRIENDS tv with choc??)

Thank you all for your kind words.

I am just going to go and have a long bath and immerse myself in a book I think then go out for a walk (in the pissing rain). Sitting here feeling sorry for myself is not going to help.

Thanks.

oh no

i am really sorry to hear this :(

x

;hugs:

Get all the series of Seinfeld in a box set. Friends is too schmaltzy at times for break-up watching imo. Also Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Buy yourself treats. Force yourself to go out and catch up with friends.

Ugh, sorry it's horrid.

Awwww. Come and live by me. I know a nice little bungalow you could rent (weak attempt at humour)
Poor you, it's so crap x

Maybe I'm just an eternal optimist? and I know you said that you have tried to work things out before, but;
Is there any chance that these happy memories coming back to spite you and just remembering the good times, is a sign that there is still hope?

Getorf I'm so sorry. Do you have rl friends to look after you?

I have stayed for too long for those good memories,iyswim. It is like having a relationship with a brick wall.

Lol at the bungalow in 'stow (not Stow on the Wold )

You are so right about seinfeld and Curb being better than Friends. I am too maudlin at the moment, I think Cash in the Attic would set me off.

Luckily rent is cheap in Gloucester (because it is a dump, that's why)

Stupidly as I know I have so much to sort, I am really worried about who gets the cats.

I have stayed for too long for those good memories,iyswim. It is like having a relationship with a brick wall.

Lol at the bungalow in 'stow (not Stow on the Wold )

You are so right about seinfeld and Curb being better than Friends. I am too maudlin at the moment, I think Cash in the Attic would set me off.

Luckily rent is cheap in Gloucester (because it is a dump, that's why)

Stupidly as I know I have so much to sort, I am really worried about who gets the cats.

So sorry to hear this. It's like a bereavement at first I think, you look back at happier times and see something lovely died. You both deserve to be content, (few of us are happy all the time) and it's sounds like you can both sort it out amicably.
As for you h family all being domestically ecstatic, I've often found if you scratch the surface.... .
I hope you feel some peace with your decision. x

Very few RL friends here, they all live miles away (best friend in the world lives in bastarding New Zealand!)

My friends in Glos are OUR friends, and I don't want to tell them.

Its OK though, I don't particluarly want to talk about it, it will make it too real iyswim.

getawf So sorry darling.

I think the good memories may come back one day...when you arent "in the throes" so to speak.

I know you have tried to make this work for a long time.

Its not your fault.

x

Well make sure you ask people for help if you need it. Sorry, feel I should know this but don't, so you haave other dcs?