Being drink does not mean you deserve it.

[OhNoMyFanjo]

I have been reading some comments on tge DM site re an interview with a women who was raped. Her rapist has just been convicted. She has had many terrible things said about her in her community due to the rapist being a pillar of tge community.

I wanted to share this comment that someone has made as it sums up what should be obvious to everyone but unfortunately there are some people who don't get it.

You don't get raped because you are drunk - you vomit because you are drunk. You get raped because the rapist standing next to you made the decision to rape you and acted on it. The rapist is the only one accountable for going on to rape a person. End.

Bumbley, you are so twisting that REALITY sentence. If you think it supports your argument you are deluded.

Kiss, the REALITY I am referring to is the MN one and I do not fear all men actually.

More people have been raped in their own homes by their own partners. Why don't you bang on about that.

How am I twisting it?

Hey, bumble - read this and tell me the victim is to blame

Some of the worst rape rates in the world and they come from places where woman must, for example, cover their hair because it's too sexy, so many limits are placed on female behaviour because it "tempts men", because it's the responsability of women not to get raped.

Don't you see that what you are arguing is that women must regulate their behaviour in order not to be sexually assaulted, which not only puts women neatly in a mysogynistic little box where they're to blame if they ARE assaulted, but doesn't even work? The end products of the sort of regulation of women you propose are: a) it's her fault if she's raped and b) women are neatly restrained away from "risky" masculine activities - drinking, talking to strangers, being outside the home, for their "own protection". And look, the teetotal, completely covered women of Afganistan? STILL RAPED.

Creating a culture where women take responsablility for their rapes is completely counter-productive.

It takes a special kind of narcissism to ask a rape victim about the many scenarios of rape.

Get over yourself BM. This is cruel. You are being cruel.

What are you getting out of this at this point? Hurting rape victims?

Nom, because we're talking about other examples.

Rape is about power and control, it is not about sexual satisfaction. It is about more than a physical sexual violation of someone else's body to the rapist, it is about exerting their power and control and humiliation. Making you vulnerable either through buying you doubles rather than singles, keeping topping up your glass, giving you drugs, gaining your trust, psychologically preparing you for abuse or threatening you with violence is all part of the crime.

Nutella, I don't need to read it because no victim is ever to blame.

bumbley - but if you go on stats, you are more at risk of rape by going on a date, or being married, than walking home alone. Yet you hark on and on about that.

Bumbley - there is a massive difference between "vulnerable generally" and "vulnerable to rape".

Ten top tips to stop rape

And, oh look, 'women know your limits' is nowhere to be seen.

Kiss, I'm just pointing out that there are many rape scenarios and the one that we are discussing in particular is to do with walking home 'pissed and alone' as Offred put it. Do you want to deny that ever happens?

Offred I am so sorry

FFS can you just piss off this thread now bumbly, it obviously makes you feel better to spout this ignorant rubbish. YOu really don't have a clue

The point of the REALITY as in the the MN Myth Buster is that being vulnerable in any way does not mean that you weren't raped and doesn't excuse it in any way.

To twist it into being drunk makes you more vulnerable to rape is missing the point spectacularly.

But for thinking it supports your point.

I wasn't saying I was asking

I don't understand why you would isolate a comparatively rare sort of assault and suggest that there are steps women can take to reduce the risk of it happening to them.

I can quite honestly say that I do not feel better arguing with people who wilfully misunderstand me and twist my words. I am not saying what you think I am and my point is valid if you could actually attempt to understand what I am saying as opposed to what you think I'm saying.

This thread makes me ponder on the sort of person who would enjoy goading rape victims...it makes me wonder how awful someone's internal dialogue must be to big themselves up at the expense of people who have suffered the most dreadful violations.

I'm thinking you would have to have something quite awful happen to you to lack any sort of empathy - or possibly some sort of mental health problem...yes, I think this is the case for rape apologists.

Oh I understand you 100% and you are like it or not victim blaming

Yes, running, being vulnerable in any way dies not excuse it. I have been saying that all along but I have also been saying that alcohol does make you vulnerable, something which people on this thread seemed determined not to accept until the last few pages.

Nom, because, as I said about 20 pages ago, any reduction is better than nothing.

Your lack of empathy for the people on this thread who have been affected by sexual violence is chilling. I think you should go away if you can't apologise and show a little grace, Bumbley.