Ridiculous excuses DH's and ex-DH's have given for cheating etc

[ParsleyTheLioness]

I'll start. Mine said the reason he signed up for online dating was because dd and I would not go owl-watching with him one night. He said it like it was a perfectly reasonable thing for an almost 50yr old to have said...He still thinks this is reasonable. Hopefully, the divorce will not be too long.

"She kissed me so it would have been rude not to kiss her back for a bit."

Ooh HR...

I should point out (due to DH's emphatic denials) that this was ex-DP and not my lovely current DH....

because I did yoga

Yoga! Sounds reasonable to me....

Who wouldn't want to go owl-watching parsley? You and DD were BU

Because I was too strong and she was weak and needed him. So he shagged her.

I know. Yours did make me actually lol reminds me of alan partridge
obviously a logical progression to go on a dating website there ...........

Yes, Hr so I bought him a furry owl for Crimbo, from a charity shop. Said if he liked them THAT much...

Sarah which Alan Partridge was that...love Alan P...

did he go on owlharmony.com

when alan was going on about hunstanton owl museum..

because he is an unconventional person who shouldn't have to live within the confines of a traditional relationship. one may wonder why he got married in the first place then? oh, and it was just a chemical reaction he had no control over, he just had to have sex with her. What a romantic hey?

"When I tell them how I treat women they leave anyway"

No, seriously.

I can't remember the rest of the episode now - was it the one where he had the date with that woman and said 'I didn't realise any money was changing hands?"

Oookaaaay. But they think what they are saying is reasonable, no?

choco yeah he might've mentioned that before you got married!

Because I wouldn't let him cook, build flatpack furniture, or clean the toilet.

Sarah will watch again to check...I blame his mother. She brought him up to believe he was Very Speshul Cos He Had a Willy. Everything he does is fine. She has cut me off, as if I were shagging the milkman or something...

imperialblether there was a whiff of that with my ex-P as well...

Sarah- was itthe one where he went to the owl sanctuary with Jill the only woman he didn't make redundant? She covered him in chocolate mousse and Alan was concerned that it would look like a dirty protest.

I sincerely hope everyone on this thread will be talking about ex husbands or partners

My ex told me he just needed to off load emotionally....
To which I replied, I don't think emotional was the only way u offloaded!

HereIGo! Was he very surprised when that didn't melt your heart?