Controlling!!! Bossy!!! doing my head in!!

[CheekboneCharlie]

I'm getting REALLY sick and tired of my boyfriend and his constant bloody whinging that I'm not doing what he says!! He bought me some moisturiser but I'm only "allowed" to use it with him! wtf? He says "he" buys my knickers and so I'm not 'allowed' to buy any myself! I do of course but then I get questioned about it and sulked on over it. Its just WEIRD AND CONTROLLING!! If I go to cinema with a friend I'm not 'allowed' to go and see anything he wants to see because apparantly it's my duty to provide him with 24 hour companionship despite the fact that he doesn't actually want to live with me as he 'needs his space'. The latest one is that I bought myself some self tanning mouse. He said he'd help me put it on I said I was capable but he offered to help me do my back. Ok I thought - I let him. He then came up with a weekly plan of when he'd come down and put this mousse on me. Today was in the plan and I told him last night I wasn't putting any on today, it's dark enough. He said "well,when will you do it then??" so I said "maybe wednesday". He said I couldn't do it wednesday as he was working all day. I said "Thats ok, I'll do it myself" well major sulk, digs about my back won't get done etc. I said I'd done it myself before and it was fine. I then got sarky comments about "wow you must have really long arms then"

I'm getting sick to death of it!!! I shouldn't need to explain and excuse my every move. Its doing my head in!

2 women a WEEK, sorry

Run. Like the fucking wind.

Agree with the people who say this is emotional abuse, and it's only going to get worse. I bet when you first got together he was charm itself, possibly even told you he loved you within a few weeks of you being together. Today it's telling you what knickers to wear and trying to pull you upstairs for sex. In a year he'll be telling you when you can leave the house, which friends you can have - and he won't back down when you scream at him to get away when he's dragging you upstairs.

these men follow a pattern, you might find this thread interesting

and you want this guy to live with you, but he has chosen not to!

Why are you still with him? You are allowed to stop seeing him you know. He doesn't HAVE to be in your life and I am baffled as to why he is still your boyfriend. This is not going to get better.

The 'nice' person you saw in the early days was a front. Designed to hook you in. If someone was a grade A bastard from day one, you'd never go on that first date! So they wait. They play the game and when they think they've got enough of a hold - they show the real them.

Get out.

Get rid. Sorry for the bluntness but things will only get worse from here.

Also with the moisturiser/tan/pyjamas thing, it sounds a bit fetish-y to me?

We have a little mantra on here ; when someone shows you who they really are, believe them.

Your boyfriend has shown you his true self. The nice version was just the bait. Get away before you are cohabiting/pregnant/married when it would be much much harder. You have no ties, just dump him.

Hi, we've moved this into Relationships. Thanks.

he sounds like he has OCD.

He will destroy you utterly and completely if you are foolish enough to stay within this because such men do not change.

There is no other choice here but to leave him.

Jesus Christ he's a fruitloop!

Run, run for your life!!!

(can someone link the hammer thread?)

Dump him, and don't ever ever ever look back. CRAZED.

Definitely EA and top level control freak behaviour.
OP it's only been 8 mths, get out! get out! get out! while you still have a chance. He will drive you insane and wear you down. God forbid you eventually reach a point where you accept his fucked up orders. What's next, which brand of sanitary product you have to buy- maybe you will need his "assistance" in actually using them some day ok, maybe a bit OTT but you see where I'm going
He is just NOT normal on so many levels hun so end it. Someone else mentioned above...if you decide to do so then please BE CAREFUL
good luck xxx

He doesn't have keys to your house, does he? Don't ever give him copies.

Please listen to the people here. Most of them have experienced domestic abuse and recognise the signs only too well. Please dump him.

Please listen to others on here, 8 months in, just leave, please.
I stayed with someone like that for 4 years, he completely wore me down, nothing I did was ever right, nothing I said was ever right, nothing I wore was ever right...3 times I tried to leave and he said he'd kill himself etc so I stayed. The last few months we were together he hit me 4 times, then one day before he left for work told me he didn't love me any more, the second he left I packed my things and ran, spent the next few months practically in hiding, then silence and I haven't seen or heard from him since. I was 20 then and am 30 now.

Run the hell away and don't look back.

Dumping nutters is a bit like giving up smoking - if at first you don't succeed, try try try and try again! Madder than a box of bollocks. Nice knicker-buying expedition to be planned for this weekend, I think, together with with a trip to the cinema with a friend to see a film that your bf would like to see (plastered head to foot in moisturiser, of course.)

If this were your friend's post what would your advice be?

Indeed. Go!

Send him either an email or a text saying 'I do not want to continue a relationship with you. Do not contact me again in any way or I will inform the police.'
If there are any of his belongings in your house, are they small enough to post? If not, do you have a friend (preferably a big bloke) who will take them round to the nutter's house and deliver them to him? It would be a really bad idea to have any kind of contact with this man again, because he is unhinged and will almost certainly attack you if you try to tell him face to face that he's dumped.