Dp doesn't want me to meet his friends

[SleepyDopeyGrumpy]

Will be going out with his friends tomorrow and when i asked him if it ever occurred to him he could invite me along instead of choosing who to spend time with he said no it didn't.

He says he acts different with them than he does to me and that has lead to bad experiences before. He wants to keep that part of his life separate from me and it hurts. He then asked "what happens when you want something and i dont?"

Im not sure i can cope with having parts of his life hidden away from me but i cant change his opinion on the matter so even if he ever does let me meet any of his friends or his best friend then i will know it would be under duress.

Any advice? :-(

Dump him - he's not prepared to share his life with you so why bother?

Dump him. You have no future with him if he won't let you meet his friends. How would you get married? In secret? What he says about behaving differently around his friends is utterly bizarre.

Well, he's not that into you. How long have you been together?

What a prick. You know this isnt normal?

Yep, thats wierd, he should be wanting to proudly show you off not hide you away!

We have been official for just over a month and seeing each other a little longer.
He spends every Thursday night with his best friend and says i will meet her but has not made any plans to make that happen yet and now this.

Not a good relationship.

Get out of this situation.

In my experience, there will be some mates that are saying 'where is your DP, why is she not here? and he will be spinning them a load of twaddle...

Horrid.

dump him. Immediately. This is not normal, and shows total disrespect to you. He is either behaving inappropriately when you are not there, or values you so little he sees no value in sharing his friends with you. Whats to like?

It comes across as he is worried that if we split up then it be mean he may lose some of his friends if i get close to them. Like somehow i may mess up that part of his life if we split.

Well save him the heartache and dump him now then. It's a stupid way to behave and he would do well to give himself a kick up the arse before he inflicts himself on another woman.

why is he even thinking of you splitting up? It shouldn't be an inevitable thing - and if it is, why would his friends pick you? I would seriously question this. Do they even know he has a DP? Or does he act like a single person when he's with them?

I dont know Choco.

He has borderline personality Disorder and thinks in logic and reasons most of the time instead of feelings and is always expecting to be rejected which i know has an impact on a lot of his thinking.

Im trying to make allowances and be understanding but this is to much. i feel like im being hidden away like im something to be ashamed off or a bad person who wants to take away anybody whoo likes him when all i want to do is share his life as a partner should.

He's talking about splitting and you've been together a month?

This is going nowhere, so why waste your energy?

alarm bells are going off- can you hear them?

One of my exes wouldn't let me meet any of his friends, turns out he wasn't actually single when we met and his friends might have given the game away

He'll share his confidential medical excuse diagnosis but won't let you go to the pub for an hour to meet his best mate?

How much bigger does this red flag have to be?

Dump him, he's keeping you away for reasons, none of them good. He's got a best friend who's female, he has a regular weekly 'date' with her but he won't introduce you to her or any other mutal friend of his and hers - I would be assuming they aren't just friends.

You're probably being hidden away like you're something to be ashamed of because you might well be his OW and therefore something to be ashamed of. (you might not be, but in my experience of other friends, every man who did'nt want to introduce them to friends/family it's because they were the OW without realising it.)

I dont think am the OW i see him most of the days he is free and if i dont see him then i speak to him online. He doesn't go out often and so i dont see where he would have the time to be seeing somebody else.

I agree it is warning bells and i cant let this stay as it is but he cant see what he is doing wrong at all.

I sent him a link to this post so he can read it and maybe see some reasoning but he doesn't ever change his mind with me that ive seen yet. He just said why put it on their for what purpose?

erm OP, with the best will in the world, I think you're barking up the wrong tree by linking to this thread.

You're not a team, he doesn't want to be a team with you, so why would he give a f*ck?

You've been official a month . You should be joined at the hip and thinking the sun shines out of each others' arses at this point.

If there are problems this early, what's the point? Seriously?

he is either hiding something. possibly another GF or even wife and kids?

or is ashamed of you for some reason

or his mates are all dicks. but tbh in my experience you can tell a lot about a man by his friends and if they are twats then he more than likely is too.

Didn't you post about the fact that he spent every Thursday with his female friend recently? That you had stalked her on FB to find out about her and then got upset because she blocked you etc?