Dp doesn't want me to meet his friends

[SleepyDopeyGrumpy]

Will be going out with his friends tomorrow and when i asked him if it ever occurred to him he could invite me along instead of choosing who to spend time with he said no it didn't.

He says he acts different with them than he does to me and that has lead to bad experiences before. He wants to keep that part of his life separate from me and it hurts. He then asked "what happens when you want something and i dont?"

Im not sure i can cope with having parts of his life hidden away from me but i cant change his opinion on the matter so even if he ever does let me meet any of his friends or his best friend then i will know it would be under duress.

Any advice? :-(

Not after one month imo but then that's just my opinion so fuck knows really

Think I've been more into getting to know the person at that stage not demanding to meet people.

He clearly has other issues now she's delved into it I'm just saying I wouldn't have delved quite so soon.

There is no book, everyone does it differently

have him as a fu*k buddy if he's any good at that. gives you both a lot of freedom. obviously a problem if you like him a lot..

i have no wish to spend time with other people when i can be seeing him

you are suffocating him.. you have only been seeing each other a short time..

I could hazard a guess, and say that he has said he loves you,and you have a great need to hear that.So you really really really want to stay with him.
But he is a complex person.
And more than I think you and just about everybody is capable of dealing with.

I was with a waste of skin man who behaved like this. Two years on? I still hadn't spent a night out with him and his mates! ...He'd been out with me and mine, each of whom he absolutely slated, incidentally.

He was a control freak to the extreme and had his life so compartmentalised that he couldn't cope with sections of it crossing paths, I think.

'Our' world (i.e. the time we spent together) became so suffocatingly boring small that it was an enormous relief when it was all over.

Get out while the getting's easy OP.

He just wants a f* buddy

A month is still a new relationship. There's some wild and unhelpful speculation on this thread!

You can't control what role he wants you to play in his life. You can either give it time and see if it gets better, which it might given the relationship is so new, or you can end the relationship now because you want different things out of the relationship and you don't want to put time into developing it.

You need to decide what you want to do now he has made his position clear but if you decide to keep the relationship don't pester him about meeting his friends. You'll have to accept what he says and know that at some stage if it doesn't change you'll have to re-assess your relationship with him.

Haven't read the whole thread but got to the part where he has borderline personality disorder. I would exit the relationship now. I've known people with this and they're a total nightmare! He'll bring you down - leave while you can...

FFS how desperate are you? This man is really not very interested in having a relationship with you, and chasing after him clutching at his trouser legs will not change his viewpoint. It sounds like he's been trying to fend you off for the whole four weeks you've been dating him.

Fuck me, I was still shagging 20 times a day one month into my relationship - my DP (now DH) couldn't give two shits about his mates at the time - they weren't the ones giving him blow jobs (crude? Don't care, had a few too many wines)

Anyway, OP - please, for the love of all that is good and pure, stand in front of a mirror and take a good look at your reflection. Do you think you deserve this kind of partner? Would you think it was acceptable behaviour if your best friend did the same? If she told you that she didn't want you to meet her other friends because she wants to keep you separate. That when she's decided your her real best friend then she can terminate all her other friendships? No you wouldn't, and you know why? Because that would make her a psycho!

This is no different - he either doesn't want to be with you and doesn't have the balls to break up with you because he's getting laid regularly, or he genuinely is a complete headcase. Both are pretty shite situations to be in.

Stand up, throw your head back and give yourself a good talking to. You are worth far more than this. Chuck him, go out, have fun, be single. I loved being single - the possibility of something amazing happening just around the corner was brilliant.

Life is way to short to spend it doubting your self worth. So don't.

Rant over

What all the other respondents have written to you earlier.

What are you getting out of this?.

How many more red flags are you going to ignore?.

He is dragging you down with him already.

I can only assume that within you there is some inherent need to want to rescue and or save this man from his own self ; that your "love" and "support" can help such a man. Wrong on all counts.

What all the others have said.

If you're having to make serious unnatural compromises right at the beginning of a relationship, what's going to happen later on when you have to make real decisions like moving in/having kids/getting engaged/married?

And this regular weekly date with another woman is wierd. His friends will know all about her. Is that why you mustn't meet them?

Dump.

op,having reread your posts on their own, and not rereading anybody elses including mine,this is my summary of what I think he is doing.
At the moment he is not totally commiting to you, perfectably understandable as you have only been together for 1 month.He is commited to his friends.
He thinks that once he is commited to you, he will no longer need his friends and dump them,assuming he is telling you the truth.
That is odd.Does he display or say other odd things?