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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Do you think he will hurt me?

673 replies

singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 21:59

I am newly and unexpectedly single, separated for a while but ex-dh only moved out 6 months ago so I am fairly new to dating. Ex-dh was first boyfriend so not very experienced.

Have started seeing this guy. Sex is fantastic, we began the relationship as a friends with benefits thing as he is a bit younger than me and doesn't want kids, fine with me and scratches an itch till I find someone more suitable for long-term. But this guy is a bit of an oddball and has been doing more and more things and I can't figure out whether he is not safe to be around or just messing with me. I only see him on weekends when I don't have my kids, he has never been to my house and does not even know my address.

A couple of times he has hidden behind the bathroom door so when I come out it makes me jump. Another time I was coming out of the bathroom and he was brandishing a hammer. He said he was putting up pictures, and there were pictures on the floor, but he never got around to it and I didn't see any nails, I just had the feeling he was doing it on purpose to scare me. He has cooked for me twice and both times has loaded the meals with as much fat as he possibly can, food fried in stupid amounts of lard, with gold top milk and cream and alcohol added. He told me one of his girlfriends put on two stone in six months when she lived with him. He's skinny and I noticed he ate less than half of his portion. He makes a big deal over the fact that he likes offal, raw meat and black pudding and is a huge attention seeker, when I am with him he is really wearing, he wants my attention all of the time, even keeping me awake most of the night and not letting me sleep. If it wasn't for the fabulous sex I would have run, would like to stay for this but I can't figure out whether he is a harmless attention-seeker pretending to be a dark and dangerous guy or whether he is actually dangerous. He drinks like a fish as well, has no friends (he says), wears black all the time and has decorated his house with weapons (he has good job and own house). He texts me all the time when I am not with him. I feel I don't have enough experience to evaluate him...my head says run but my heart wants the attention / the intimacy / the great sex.

Your opinions please??

OP posts:
sugarice · 22/05/2012 07:47

The hammer incident would be enough for me and not letting me sleep.The fun of the sex will wear off eventually if you're knackered.

sugarice · 22/05/2012 07:58

I've just read quickly through Blush does such a man exist or not?

SarahStratton · 22/05/2012 08:07

Oh yes sugar. There's plenty of men like that just that most of them are in Broadmoor

sugarice · 22/05/2012 08:08

Smile I must read through thoroughly before posting comment.

OhNoMyFanjo · 22/05/2012 08:18

Hail anyfuckersfanjo for she speak wise words.

ledkr · 22/05/2012 08:33

sarah I worked in Broadmoor and many of the patients are less obviously mental than the ops boyf! At least they try to hide their ahem-quirky ways Grin

Hullygully · 22/05/2012 08:35

Only read the op

hhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Good one

Altho we did have the vampire boyfriend a few years ago.

Maryz · 22/05/2012 08:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hullygully · 22/05/2012 08:41

I'm liking the offal

It's offally good boom boom

LineRunner · 22/05/2012 08:50

God, is this still here?

Hullygully · 22/05/2012 08:54

Liver and lights anyone?

izzyizin · 22/05/2012 08:56

That's offally kind of you, Hully.

izzyizin · 22/05/2012 08:57

The thread is, LR, but the OP may have had her lard soaked chips.

Hullygully · 22/05/2012 08:58
SarahStratton · 22/05/2012 08:58

Hully's a kidney sort of soul, with a liver let liver philosophy.

Hullygully · 22/05/2012 08:58

Intestinal fact, that

SarahStratton · 22/05/2012 09:03

She's a sweetbread at heart.

Hullygully · 22/05/2012 09:07

I've got to bowel out now

SarahStratton · 22/05/2012 09:09

Thymus bowel out too.

Hullygully · 22/05/2012 09:10

damn you you're good

WenTheEternallySurprised · 22/05/2012 09:15

If all the single men are single for a reason and no good in bed why not find a married one?

singlemum2012 · 22/05/2012 09:19

Oh, you are suggesting that I go hunting for married men now? What kind of a person do you think I am?

OP posts:
SarahStratton · 22/05/2012 09:20

I thank thee, kind Hully

Hullygully · 22/05/2012 09:24

There's a lot to be said for married men.

they're terribly grateful for a start and often quite undemanding. I doubt they'd have time to prepare offal and wander about with hammers either. Too much like their home lives.

singlemum2012 · 22/05/2012 09:28

So clearly I am not going to see him again, everyone was saying I wasn't taking their advice even though I have already said I won't see him again (although can see how that would get lost in 400 messages). I actually rang the police about him this morning and will be going in later.

OP posts: