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Original poster

Is this right or wrong?

47 replies

Pinklaydee1972 · 21/05/2012 17:45

Joined a dating website six months ago. Am 5 weeks pregnant (father not in picture- his choice). Well Im getting on well with a guy n he wants to take me out. should I go? Is this a good idea? N when should I tell him?

OP posts:
lisaro · 21/05/2012 17:47

Er - the truth?

Original poster
Pinklaydee1972 · 21/05/2012 17:50

Yes please

OP posts:
SugarBatty · 21/05/2012 17:52

I think you should tell him before you meet him, same as he should if he has children.

Are you wanting to form a long term relationship with him or just dating?

ivykaty44 · 21/05/2012 17:53

Not really a good idea, for a lot of reasons

you are having a baby
you are only recently split up form the father of the baby
you are on a dating site and you haven't put you are pg - this is deceitful

Please take time for yourself
get over the split from your dp
concentrate on being pg and your life as you are facing massive changes
go and and have fun with friends and family but not a relationship

JamieandTheMagicTorch · 21/05/2012 17:56

I agree, not a good idea.

But you have to tell him before you arrange to go on a date.

SugarBatty · 21/05/2012 17:58

Agree with ivy. Imagine the awkwardness of telling him on the date and him being annoyed. If you tell him and he is ok with it, you could stay in touch with him as friends and see how it goes for the long term future when you have had your baby?

curiositykitten · 21/05/2012 17:59

Are you looking to this man for dating, relationship, or just a one night stand?

I reckon you should tell him beforehand - though it's likely he'll run a mile.

How long have you been chatting to him for?

lisaro · 21/05/2012 18:01

Grin No, Pink I meant tell HIM the truth.

pictish · 21/05/2012 18:04

Honestly? You are going to toil to find a new boyfriend from a dating site while you are pregnant to someone else.
It's not something you should keep from a prospective date....but be prepared for the 'no thanks' that is likely to be forthcoming.

I don't think this is a good time to be putting yourself out there for dates. At all.

Original poster
Pinklaydee1972 · 21/05/2012 18:04

Yes I think I could only offer friendship anyway.

The father was not really my DP, I've known him years we went out one night, got drunk and it happened. I'm 40 so thought maybe one night would not result in pregnancy but it has. I don't believe in abortion, I am a mum and this is my child but the father has since ran back to his wife!

I do like this guy we been chatting a week now and he seems genuine, think I might just tell him.

OP posts:
JamieandTheMagicTorch · 21/05/2012 18:07

Perhaps I worry too much, but I think you need to be really really careful about hooking up with someone whilst you are pg and alone. There's lots of scope for someone playing the big rescuer and you wanting to believe it.

Stay safe

PooPooInMyToes · 21/05/2012 18:08

I don't see it as that big a deal. You are in the early stages of pregnancy and at the moment its no one else's business. You wouldn't tell your boss so why do you have to tell some random man off the internet?

If i went on a date with a man whose ex girlfriend was pregnant i wouldn't expect him to tell me first or on the first date.

Ivy. I've never been on a dating site. Is it really compulsory to put that you are pregnant? Is there a tick box for that? Is there one for if you have children?

Original poster
Pinklaydee1972 · 21/05/2012 18:11

Well I've told him now and am waiting for his response. Since I got pregnant have not used the site until a week ago when I received his message, just chatting at first but now he,s asked me to go out n thought it was maybe the time to tell him

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinklaydee1972 · 21/05/2012 18:13

Ivy am sure somethings can be private

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinklaydee1972 · 21/05/2012 18:15

Curiosity, have never wanted a one night stand even before I was pregnant Shock

OP posts:
MyNameIsntFUCKINGWarren · 21/05/2012 18:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

curiositykitten · 21/05/2012 18:19

OP, how long have you known you are pregnant for?

Original poster
Pinklaydee1972 · 21/05/2012 18:19

Really? Yes but surely their are some decent guys out there?

Maybe I'm naive then

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 21/05/2012 18:20

Pinklaydee1972 - erh but you are not being honest from before the start - and it will not stay private. TBH If I was a bloke and found out on a first date you were pg I would be well pissed off, why not be up front in the first place?

Original poster
Pinklaydee1972 · 21/05/2012 18:20

2 weeks

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinklaydee1972 · 21/05/2012 18:22

If I put on my profile I'm pregnant and going by what others are saying surely this makes me even more vulnerable?

OP posts:
Proudnscary · 21/05/2012 18:22

Blimey I must be really old fashioned then. I don't think dating while in early stages in pregnant is a great idea. Anything could happen, I sincerely hope all will go well but til 12-16 weeks you don't really know so you are not really sort of stable til then.

And I don't think many genuine men would want to start a relationship with you - I know I will get shot down for that, but I think it's the truth.

Original poster
Pinklaydee1972 · 21/05/2012 18:24

Proud - not sure I want a relatiionship with him, more a friendship and take things very slow

OP posts:
pictish · 21/05/2012 18:25

I agree Proudnscary

pictish · 21/05/2012 18:25

I don't think men join dating sites looking for mates OP.