The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Are Going To Need A Bigger Bus!

[Mouseface]

Which is FANTASTIC!

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, I'm Mouse and I'm addicted to cheese, but have a pretty nasty relationship with alcohol too, mainly vodka.

This Bus is for anyone and everyone. Drinking or sober, or somewhere in between or just not sure if you're drinking too much........... this is the place to ask and maybe have a chat too.

No pressure, no judging, no cliquey savoury flans (although I'm rather partial to a cheese slice ), we're all on The Bus for the same reason; alcohol.

Even if it's not you, and you'd like to talk about someone you know, come and say hi. We won't bite, well, not unless you ask very nicely!

And, if you'd like to see our journey so far, follow THIS LINK and read back through the previous links there.

See you soon xx

Gosh so many interesting posts to read tonight.

soma you may be right about social situations being boring rather than stressful and drinking makes it seem less tedious. Still not sure what to do about it though... It's true I have no close friends - I have wondered if I drove them all away because of my craziness when drunk?? or maybe as you say, I'm just discerning! I can make small talk but find it exhausting after a while.

ma your cottage sounds wonderful. I grew up on the coast but now live miles from the sea... and one day want to move back. I'd keep chickens and goats and ask mia to design me a pond and it MUST have a view of the sea.

skippy two alcohol-free months sounds like a good plan. I also use wine as a treat after a hard day/week or stressful event... its difficult to think of an alternative! Most treats involve unhealthy food or spending lots of money. If you're staying in, could you plan to watch a favourite film? Or read a good book? After 2 months, I think you could justify splashing out on something big, new clothes or a short holiday or massage maybe.

mia glad I'm not the only one who struggles with those social situations, hence the seroxat. Those dog books you linked to looked really interesting.

mouse glad you all had a good day, theres been so much negativity about the torch thing, but actually its really good fun!

I HEART Nemo Adorable picture!

Happy birthday Thurso.

SAF sounds good, I think half of interview success is knowing what they are looking for. I do hope I do OK tomorrow. I have prepared as much as I possibly can.

Will look at the bottom of a bottle again tonight - perhaps I should just be pleased that I have stopped at a bottle since coming out of lurkdom here? I am going to run with that for tonight.

Just de-lurking to check in and say hello to all oldies, newbies, lurkers, regulars, and absent friends - where is Helpyourself fr'instance - am doing fine. Have cut down to about 2 bottles of wine a week now at the weekend only and am thinking (must admit to slight fear about this) of quitting altogether.

I spect lots of you don't know who the hell I am . Will go back to lurking, as you were everybody!

today i missed what your interview was for but good luck just know you've prepared well and focus on being relaxed but alert and taking that bit of time before you speak to formulate it in your head before you say it.

hi bibbity what's making you think of giving up altogether? what's your drinking making you feel like now?

good morning to all babes. nearly the end of the week already!

felt really flat last night - thinking anti climax after all the build up of waiting on interview or maybe awareness of how huge this is if i do get a place. i think you sit in the interview making all the right noises and then afterwards wonder if you believe what you said itms. lots of the interview was about trying to get across to me the weight of the undertaking in terms of time, money and energy and how emotionally demanding the training is. it was all about appearing realistic in terms of getting that but optimistic in terms of my willingness and capacity to deal with it and the suitability of my life circumstances to make this the right time from my end. now i'm left with the am i really ready, is it really the right time, can i really take all this on kind of questions to mull on without an audience.

i do know it wouldn't be the right time if i was still drinking and caught up in that cycle. hmm.

turns out (didn't say in any of the materials) that i also have to undertake 40 hours of my own therapy during the course which is an added expense of course but also like - 40 hours???? of talking about myself when i'm pretty much ok? it seems crazily self indulgent but if i find a good therapist i can work well with it could be really valuable i guess. anyway i'm waffling on about me and my boring shite sorry. maybe my enforced therapy will stop me waffling on at you lot so much

Waffle away Saf, it's good to have the chance to chat with others about it, especially when you know you can say what you like, reveal your fears and no-one will judge you. It's an important decision after all.

Personally I think the therapy would be good, would it be one hour at a time over 40 weeks? It does seem a lot if you don't think you need it but on the other hand, could be a great opportunity to destress once you're working?

Well our bags are mostly packed, will just finish the last bits this evening then off on holiday tomorrow. Pity the weather has changed but it's still warm enough to do lots of outdoorsy stuff.

Have a happy Thursday everyone, good luck today, hope it goes well for you x

(Wow, I think this is the first time I got through a post without any smileys )

where are you off to faire? hope you have a great time

yes, thinking about it i could use the counselling for more tweaking sort of stuff iyswim - i don't feel like i need to go over my childhood anymore or the why i am the way i am type stuff but i would like to address how to handle my issues with authority and systems and professionalism. suppose the gift of it would be being able to go into things that you wouldn't normally think 'big' enough to take to counselling. and it would be nice to really put to bed this period of my life where i've been sort of hiding in a corner and 'i'm alright so long as the world stays out of my way thank you very much'ness time to make the world and my ok'ness in it a bit bigger than a safe little bubble that i have total control over. more waffle!

thinking about it though some of my issues with authority may have been linked to the alcoholism - feeling like i'm going to get 'caught' or that i'm the naughty girl in a roomful of adults and not really part of 'their' world. do think the shame and secretiveness creeps into other areas of our lives without us realising it or it having to be directly to do with our drinking.

right i AM going to shut up now.

faire have an absolutely fantastic time x

sorry i appear to have killed the thread with my waffling!

Not at all SAF.

How is everyone this morning? More nice weather, and a nice long weekend to look forward to.

Not at all saf I like reading the waffle!

I've nearly reached 3 weeks and although I can't say I've noticed any physical improvements (where are the bright sparkling eyes? the clear skin? the boundless energy?) my emotional state has definitely improved.

I feel less stress and anxiety, definitely not obsessing on where can I buy my mini-bottles of Pinot Grigio!

This weekend, big party, lots of family (some of them not easy to get on with) I'm really not sure what to do. I've already told myself I can drink if I want to. Part of me wants to relax, have fun - it's definitely all about the relaxation. Another part of me doesn't want to slip back into that obsessing mode.

Sorry to just barge in but I've heard from Silver.

She has said that I can let you know that sadly, her mum passed away this morning.

She said to let you all know that she is still reading the thread so will have seen your messages.

Silver - just let yourself feel the way you want too for as long as you want. There are no rules, no limits, no hand book when dealing with death. Just do what you have to.

Lots of love to you my lovely, you know where I am xx

thinking of you silver. try and take care of the basics - eat, drink, sleep, cuddle xx

Thinking of you at this time Silver xx

Sending you my sincere condolences Silver. xx

That's so sad, I'm really sorry to hear that Silver. Thinking of you.

thinking of you and your family silver

So sorry Silver. Thinking of you x

My thoughts are with you Silver xx

afternoon!

silver, thinking of you my love!, stay strong and keep well and try and think of good times with a smile, thats all your mum would ever have really wanted for you!

just a small aside, i have been sober for 2 years.

Silver , so sorry. I remember what it's like to lose your mother, very, very hard xx

JWN wow, what a milestone! absolutely fantastic!

I'm 5 week's sober today :) So why do I feel like ruining it all tonight? I have no energy, I've just responded robustly to DD's teacher's email telling my it's somehow my fault that she is disorganised and forgetful - charming. And the change in the weather has deflated my mood. I am overwhelmed by all the to-dos I promised myself I would get done in the last few days I've had as holiday, which I haven't done.

Now's the time to remember all the tips I've gleaned from here over the last 5 weeks, and find all my own posts glorying in my sobriety. Tonight I will not drink.

Well done jwn

Its maybe the weather carrie - I feel the same way.

Had a bad day at work - as soon as the shit started, my immediate thought was 'I'll buy some wine on the way home." Amazingly, by the time I got home, the instinct had gone, but I still feel very down.

I actually burst into tears at work but then I get stressed if a customer so much as looks at me funny, let alone complains. I would so much love a drink to take away the emotions.

Still, 2 weeks ago I'd have been straight round Sainsburys the nearest shop to buy some mini-bottles a whole bottle of Pinot Grigio anything I could lay my hands on

Silver, I know I'm new around here but I wanted to say I'm very sorry for your loss

I'm a bit like you this evening joey am off tomorrow and my partner is away so it's very new for me not to have wine and I was thinking about it a lot on the way home. Still I didn't get anything so just going to have a quiet night in and maybe do a facial.
I can't believe it's only been four days since I felt so awful and already I'm tempted to do it again

Silver Love and prayers my sweetheart xxx

Well Babes,

gonna say 'adios' for a week, as I jet off to sunnier climbes tomorrow morning.

Really looking forward to it, but still in debate as to whether I will drink. I think I probably will, but will view it as an experiment to see how well I physically handle it (I've been dry over 2 months) but most importantly whether I start to crave it again when I get home.

Wish me luck & lots of love to you all.

(Is it wierd that I will you miss you all??)