The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Are Going To Need A Bigger Bus!

[Mouseface]

Which is FANTASTIC!

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, I'm Mouse and I'm addicted to cheese, but have a pretty nasty relationship with alcohol too, mainly vodka.

This Bus is for anyone and everyone. Drinking or sober, or somewhere in between or just not sure if you're drinking too much........... this is the place to ask and maybe have a chat too.

No pressure, no judging, no cliquey savoury flans (although I'm rather partial to a cheese slice ), we're all on The Bus for the same reason; alcohol.

Even if it's not you, and you'd like to talk about someone you know, come and say hi. We won't bite, well, not unless you ask very nicely!

And, if you'd like to see our journey so far, follow THIS LINK and read back through the previous links there.

See you soon xx

I love sunny weather . Washing is hanging out - and I love the smell of fresh air in the washing . Birds are tweeting, chicks are fledged. And for the moment, all is right with my world.

Ah the boing has returned, good morning lovely babes! Mia I think everyone has a natural rhythm - some better in the morning, others in the evening but it must have been a wonderful change for you to wake up happy! I'm another one who woke up at 5am - thought it was at least 7! Your plans for the weekend that would have been your you-know-what (I did smile when you showed me it crossed-out on your calendar) sound lovely and I hope DP feels better. What is it with men and GPs? I don't think my ex-H has ever been to the doctor and I worry that he has the same attitude towards his little daughter June (the one with SN) and thinks all the lovely consultants at GOSH are rubbish. Did anyone watch that programme about kids there with heart problems BTW? It was hard to sit through and I felt such admiration for the clinicians and such sympathy for the parents and brave brave little children.

I have terrible toothache at the moment (seeing dentist tomorrow) and taking co-codamol which combined with caffeine is making me feel wired - anything for a buzz eh? Hopefully yes am taking antabuse at bed-time now and consequently sleeping very well but am almost comatose by early afternoon! It's so worth it though, I can't tell you how good it feels to wake up every morning without a hangover and know I'm not going to drink. I have a girls night out on Friday but think some of them will be driving so for the first time in my life, I'll see if I can have an enjoyable night out without getting legless! I used to pre-load - did anyone else do that? I was always worried that once I got to wherever I was going, everyone else would be drinking far too slowly and I wouldn't get enough inside me so had to have a head start!

Bproud will buy some lovely drinks and maybe some pretty glasses and make a ceremony of having something delicious with my evening meal. Mouse yay for your dad at last deciding not to be a doormat to your sis. Have a lovely day with Nemo - when's his birthday? June turns 3 on 1st June (hence her rather quaint old-fashioned name).
Thinking of you Truth and Joey, hang in there. Overall I feel a lot better but am having some real lows but get over them. Venus I know you're there watching over us all, a goddess indeed :) xx

mouse - great idea to use the 3 minute withdraw with ds - yes it will help you calm down but actually it will also be dealing with his behaviour. if each and every time you go out of his sight for 3 mins when he hits you at home that's a clear message actually. when you're out you could find a way of doing it without physically leaving - maybe be silent and not make eye contact or some such. sorry you were up early too.

soma - glad you have your boing back and yes to the 'pre-loading'. i used to drink to feel ok about seeing people and being 'out' or something. as if i needed that stiffener to cope with what actually should be enjoyable in itself.

mia - your weekend sounds lovely.

after school i took the dog and walked to my grandad's grave and sat there a while working some things out. a lot of stuff happened to me over a few year period in my teens including losing my grandad and finding him dead. reminding myself of the date he died helped me to put it all in order - in typical ptsd type fashion my memory of the when's and what order and stuff is all garbled but i think i worked it all out and gave a bit of compassion to my younger self who went through all of it in such quick succession. i started drinking alcoholically during that time.

i then remembered there is a little nursery outside of the village so we walked there and i bought the sweetest little bird bath and some fairly tacky resin butterflies and a lovely french lavender bush for the garden which the guy is going to drop off for me. yesterday i ordered a trampoline - obviously the sunshine has made me think garden have just been out there moving bits around and deciding where i'll put things. the trampoline is going to create a really private bit at the end of the garden by the trees that can currently be overlooked by my neighbours upstairs windows but will now be screened

very happy. all is well. amazing what a bit of sunshine can do isn't it?

invite me! i haven't been to a wedding in years - i'm the youngest of the family (cousins included) so they're all married - the only one who isn't is me and no sign of that changing will have to wait for the next generation to start getting hitched.

let's both stop worrying then isinde - no one is upset, all is well so long as you invite me to your wedding

bored waiting around on stuff - should get on with the decorating really. or could just keep floating in and out of the garden smoking rollies and wondering whether to have another cup of coffee or not. bone. idle.

Oh invite me! Invite me! I've got a hat and everything, and I'm great at talking to all those 'difficult' relatives. I was a bridesmaid 5 times and dealing with randy old uncles was my specialty

We went to a wedding last year and I took my 84 year old mother to buy a 'fascinator', except she told the shopkeeper that she wanted a 'fornicator'

boing!!! INVITE ME!!! i can test drive my outfit!! isinidi, you lovely lovely woman, your wedding is going to be a joyful, joyous, joyfulling day! i know this because im an old witch and what i say goes!!
am off out for lunch with dd before she goes back up north just me and her! lovely!!

laters babes! XXX

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

Well, what a busy morning..... we've been swimming (£9.60 just to take Nemo swimming!!!! ) and I've done more washing which is just about to be pegged out, tidied the house, phone the people I needed to for Nemo and other boring stuff I'd been putting off.

The house is slowly getting there and now it's tidy to boot!

Now we're off into town and the new park. I'm hoping that Nemo will let me enjoy the sunshine without wanting to come home.

I'm going to treat myself to a giant slushy and an ice-cream for Nemo whilst we're out.....

IsinDe - let me know if you want any help talking flowers. And can I ask, are you doing the something old, something new thing? I'd love to send you the something borrowed if so. Let me know

Be back later..... of to enjoy the sun some more.

Lots of love,

mouse xx

Afternoon! Just a very very quick one (last guest is in a shop and I have 10 mins to myself, hurrah!).

Venus I have just choked on my mint! Ha ha!

Isinde your day will be wonderful, I just know it. Your plan sounds perfect. I can't wait to hear all about it. You will be sober and you will remember everything, with no shame/regrets

Saf you are sounding bloody amazing. Good for you. Your son must be reaping the rewards too. How lovely

Mia, I hope you have a lovely weekend, you deserve it. Thanks for the herbal tips. Can't get on the PC with any privacy at the moment so sorry for late response .

Alias and others not yet experiencing the boing - I am loathed to make false promises but I'm sure it will come soon. Fingers crossed it's very soon. Hang on in there

i'm seriously happy - back to pottering around barefoot in a skirt i LOVE summer!!!!

Hi everyone

So sorry I didn't come back yesterday, I had a busy day + toothache + was still struggling with feelings of shame and didn't want to carry on whinging after everyone's lovely advice.

I must admit that now I'm actually glad my binge didn't "go well", imagine if it had? I'd feel totally free to start drinking again and I know where that would have lead - to a place I never want to go back to.

Anxiety gone, but still a lingering sense of fear at times - that's the fear that people are going to find out which will only fade with time (or until people do actually find out )

Had a couple of bits of bad news today, wallowed for a bit then got up and blitzed the entire house top and bottom, that feels good, better than pouring alcohol on my problems would have done.

Isindie, so sorry you're having all this anxiety surrounding your special day, how are you feeling now? Lots of good advice here I see, as per usual. I wont add to it because I am crap at giving advice or comfort, just hope you are feeling better :)

just checking in.....

Evening everyone,

Nearly end of day 8,

Hope the sun is still shining where you are? I've just been for a great evening ride, just me and my beautiful horse, I'm so happy not to be up to my knees in mud after all that rain.

Mouse, no I never thought I would get this far. I've tried before and given in after a day or two. Having this thread (and also a fabulous counsellor) means I've now got a fridge full of fizzy water, a freezer of ice lolliesand a cupboard ful of herbal teas. I have learnt that a craving will pass, it won't just just get worse I can distract myself and work through it. The wise words of the Brave Babes have really made a difference.

Apologies for all the typos, think the sun has gone to my head

< kicks off shoes and does a little sundance with Saf and Katie >

are you OK ma?

Evening, tis me, mouse

Ma - ?? You okay? xx

Hello BProud - how are things with you lovely?

Saf - I love that floaty skirt/bare feet feeling. I love summer! Bring it on Mother Nature

I've been out in a green/teal/white and beige colour block (mixed sideways if that makes sense) halter neck dress from Next. 3 women stopped me and asked me where it was from. I got it at a Next Outlet store 6 years ago and I can get back into without looking pregnant (wine/beer/cider belly) for the first time since I bought it for a special occasion.

I felt great. Low sandals and the fabric of the dress flowing around me as Nemo and I walked through town and then to the park. Funny how the sun and a bit of lost weight can make you feel amazing

Katie - I hope that you are very proud of yourself xx

I'm off to read in bed. DH is up drinking wine and has a face like a frosted fart because he has only just eaten his dinner. A dinner that he cooked, he made and he chose. I'm not hungry so am just having a cup of herbal tea (cranberry and green tea) and then bed.

I went in M&S today and discovered Pink Cranberry sparkling drink. It's sugar free too. They have it on offer, 2 for £1.50. So that's a litre for £1.50. And it's so refreshing...... I may have bought a few

Sleep well Brave Babes, tomorrow is PJ day (sleep awareness - yeah right - week) so we are all dressing in PJs for the morning and then again on Friday. I'll be hobbling home to throw a dress or skirt on and get outside as soon as I can .

Lots of love,

mouse xx

Evening everyone and boing ! well, I think the boing is because of the weather, but it still makes the cravings easier to resist.

Bought 2 new tops today, thinking what £££ I have saved not buying booze (and all the other stuff you end up buying when you're in the shop)

Wonder if instead of counting down towards the day I can next have a drink(which would be next weekend - if I decided to) I should start counting up from when I last had one. That would be 4 days, or 9 days since I really started except Saturday was a blip.

It doesn't seem like very long. Do people still have to come on here and say 6 weeks and 3 days or does it eventually get easier and you stop counting?

mouse I got raspberry and lemon soda in M&S today - they do some nice drinks in there don't they? Still can't believe how cheap it is compared to wine!

I'm ok. Very very tired with shit at work and mum ill so a bit stressed.

ma hugs

Morning Babes

Couldn't get on the computer yesterday, my mouse broke and by the time I managed to get a new one DS needed to use it for homework. I really need my own laptop or internet phone thingy

Anyway after my wobble on Tuesday I woke up yesterday feeling a lot better. So glad I didn't cave. I feel almost better that I had my first real wobble and got through it, does that make sense? So I did lots of gardening and reading in the garden. Was lovely.

Lots to catch up on so apologies if I miss anything.

Katie Well done on day 8

Mia Not sure of your back story but it sounds like you have some great things planned for Friday. Am going to look at your blog in a minute to see any updates. By the way your DD sounds fab

Isin I am like that, not a forgiving person nor do I let anger go very well (especially when it comes to being angry at myself) but I am getting better. You sound as though your therapist is really helping. Eek your wedding is getting close, how exciting! Your plans for the days before and the actual day sound great. I bet you will have a wonderful time.

Soma I used to pre-load too, and not just for a night out . How many days is it for you now? Keep going xx

Have a good day babes

xx

yes it makes sense HT and it will have strengthened you as you now know you can get through it and it does indeed pass - well done.

mouse glad you're getting your summer on too. another lovely day by the looks of it here.

i'm off to the doctors this morning to see what's going on with my nether regions. really not looking forward to it but then you'd have to have a very weird fetish to enjoy that kind of thing so ho hum. at least i'll have dealt with it.

no news on the trampoline but i've installed my lovely new bird bath in a quiet corner. engraved on it is,

"the kiss of the sun for pardon,
the song of the birds for mirth,
you are closer to god's heart in a garden
than anywhere else on earth"

and it looks like it was made by elves

whoever said they have a pond i'm very jealous. an ex's family place in antwerp had the most beautiful pond with a sort of decking bridge over the middle of it. you could lie on that and gaze into it - one day i want similar. i have the feeling installing a pond doesn't come cheap though.

waffle anyone?