The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Are Going To Need A Bigger Bus!

[Mouseface]

Which is FANTASTIC!

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, I'm Mouse and I'm addicted to cheese, but have a pretty nasty relationship with alcohol too, mainly vodka.

This Bus is for anyone and everyone. Drinking or sober, or somewhere in between or just not sure if you're drinking too much........... this is the place to ask and maybe have a chat too.

No pressure, no judging, no cliquey savoury flans (although I'm rather partial to a cheese slice ), we're all on The Bus for the same reason; alcohol.

Even if it's not you, and you'd like to talk about someone you know, come and say hi. We won't bite, well, not unless you ask very nicely!

And, if you'd like to see our journey so far, follow THIS LINK and read back through the previous links there.

See you soon xx

honest i'd really recommend aa meetings. I've found the not drinking is only part of it, the learning to deal with an alcoholic head is really important too and being around other people with lots more experience of sobriety and the head journey of recovery really helps me.

Remember, even if you had a shitty day or haven't seemed to aachieve much, to celebrate that you did your job - you didn't drink. That's enough for now. You are doing fantastically. Your mood will go up and down but remember it's just a mood not a success gauge or a compass itms. It will pass. The big thing is that you are not drinking, don't forget where you were and how bad it got and how well you're doing.

Hi everyone

Day 5 here. Doing ok so far but the weekend is my danger time so starting to dread Friday as that will be a big test..

Nibbled I feel exactly the same as you in that I wish I could have 2 or 3 drinks then think "that was nice but I've had enough now." I can't, I binge, so I have had to stop completely for a while to try to get it back in perspective.

casawasa I'm new too. It feels like a big step getting on the bus doesn't it....

swallowedafly lovely to hear you sounding chirpy :) I knackered my dogs across the fields this morning too - the last couple of walks have been very wet therefore pretty short! Good to get out in the sun and run them ragged.

Gruffy I really sympathise. My brother had ME a few years ago and ended up in a wheelchair for a while. Social life was VERY important to him as he spent so much time laid up, so he tended to overdo it on nights out - it became a bit of a vicious circle.

Hope everyone has a good day :)

Thanks for the welcome everyone, you are all lovely!!

casawasa i dont really know what how to tackle cutting down, at the minute i am just not drinking anything after what happened at the weekend but i have another family gathering this weekend and my DP is so sure i can manage to just have a few and behave but i am terrified of making a show of myself..... again.....

I suppose the main worry/grief is that without drink am i actually a fun person to be around because its not how i feel at the minute.

SarahRT you have described every emotion i am feeling which scares me, although i admit i have an issue with booze, how do i actually find out how much of a problem it is to me?? I am very lost..

HonestTruth Why do you think your DH hasnt noticed your achievement? Oh and i dont think your post is self indulgent xxx

Hope babes all doing well. saf well done on week 5

I do have a bone to pick with mouse ... follow saf's lead ... I am on 7.5 weeks thanks missus Had a bit of a wobble on the weekend but managed not to drink.

LittleMsGee is fine. Driving me insane with the lack of sleep but adorable as ever. Had a LFT last week, along with a lot of other tests, going to try and get the results later today if I can on the phone, otherwise next week. I will be interested to see how they are but trying not to worry about it all. Work is still manic which is why I am not around much. I live in hope of getting on top of it and just tell myself it would be more difficult if I was drinking.

Not drinking is still way easier than trying to control it. I am saving hours of time each week not obsessing about it all.

LFT came back 'satisfactory'

MsGee that sounds like really good news but what is an LFT?

How did you manage to get to weeks and weeks of sobriety without any chemical assistance on will-power alone? How much were you drinking before then? Do you have external RL sources of support? Do you go to AA meetings or anything?

One thing that the counsellor told me is that relapses from alcoholism or alcohol dependency can happen at any stage. This was in the context of my asking what the likely outcome was for on people on my treatment path. So do you see yourself not drinking for ever? Or for a few months?

Liver Function Test?

BOING!!!!

i agree with SarahRt wholeheartedly! the thing with getting sober is that you have to recognise that your whole life is different from now on, different in good way, but still hard to cope with at first - being sober does not make life a constant bed of roses, you feel everything, right full on, bang in there feelings, very hard to cope with after years of blocking them out, not listening to them, ignoring them or making excuses for them, stuff now has to faced and it can be fucking dreadful - what you have to remember is that old very hoary old saying 'this too will pass' cos i promise you, it does!! just give yourselves some time!!

I remember reading that Robbie Williams was disappointed at not feeling any great sense of enlightenment after he got sober. I think that is one of the reasons staying sober can be challenging - you don't necessarily feel completely wonderful. Still better than the alternative, though.

Yes, my (relatively limited) experience of recent sobriety is not that life is full of zing and bounce.

I'm tired quite a lot of the time, and have less stamina. I'm also generally less giggly. Problems are no easier to deal with, either, in fact in some ways they are harder to deal with because I can't just retreat into a bottle.

The upsides that I have found are that (a) my reactions to situations and events are more balanced and rational (b) I am functioning and thinking better (c) I am not prone to doing anything embarassing (d) I am not going to do anything rash that might jeopardise my job and my family's welfare and well-being

Truth some of the differences can be so minor you may not even notice them. Like the first time you fancy a coffee and don't even think about alcohol. Or how you get through the night without waking for water. How you can eat a meal without thinking there was something missing. Or being able to remember everything about the night before. When you have a real belly laugh with friends without the aid of alcohol. Or the money you have been able to spend on other things. Or the busy days where you have been able to get lots done. These are all great strides and massive accomplishments, but seem so minor at the time.

Your dh may genuinely not have noticed you're not drinking, especially if he's a 'normal' drinker. Two weeks without alcohol? So what It's only others like us who know what a seriously big deal that is. Normal drinkers often go that long without even thinking about alcohol, they don't have a clue what it can be like for others.

Or it may be that he has noticed but doesn't want to tempt fate by mentioning it? Keep doing what you're doing and you will feel that boing. You will start to feel all sorts of benefits and you won't look back x

Welcome to all the new babes (won't name check in case I miss someone and make them feel unwelcome, 'cos you're all welcome here ). Do come back and chat so we can get to know you all better.

To those trying to cut down or control their drinking, I would suggest that the first thing to do would be to not drink for at least 3 weeks. Because controlled drinking means that you may not drink for two or three weeks so you need to know that you can do it. If you can, you may have a shot at it. If not, maybe just enjoy not drinking one day at a time and see where it leads you.

To those talking about will power. Anyone who drinks a lot is not weak.

It takes strength and determination to face every single day.
To wake with a raging thirst, banging head, feeling naseous and dizzy.
To stagger through the day, going to work, caring for children, feeling sick to the stomach,
to face people who witnessed you making a tit of yourself,
to listen to tales of what you said and did,
to find the money and trek to the shop (sometimes out of your way to hide your embarrasment),
to smuggle alcohol into the house, try to hide how much you drink, disguise the amount left in the bottle by hiding or switching or topping up,
to hurry the children off to bed, trying not to breathe on them when you kiss goodnight,
to fill your body with poison just so that you can forget how bad you feel,
to promise youself that you'll just have one, to lie to yourself and hate yourself and fall into bed for a night of hot sweats and broken sleep,
to wake the next morning and do it all again.

And you think it takes willpower to avoid this? Why would you need willpower to save yourself from all that. Not drinking is a heck of a lot easier than drinking. It's easier on your physical health, on your family, on your work, on all your relationships but most of all, it's so much easier on yourself.

Saf how did your ds get on without you for the week? I bet he was so happy to see you again

MsGee that's a fab result, huge relief for you, you're doing great x

< Big wave to all babes >

(Probably crossed posts with most you )

This is the danger time for me. I've battled through homework and music practice with ds and normally i would be pouring a gin now.
Sooo, i've put the kettle on for a nice cup of herbal tea.

My dp works in the drinks industry so there is always a huge supply of alcohol to hand and lots of events to attend. The next one is in 2 weekends time. I am going to try not to drink until then. When the event comes around i think i will need some support to get through it with no/minimal drinking.

Hi casa good idea to post if you're feeling a bit wobbly

This is a trigger time for many of us, so hopefully there will be more babes around to chat this evening.

Can you have something to eat. Often, that craving is triggered by low blood sugar and your body knows that there's lots of sugar in alcohol. Could you have dinner, or something sweet to put you on?

After that, find an activity which will keep your mind and hands busy (crossword puzzle, sudoku, knitting, painting, gardening, cleaning, whatever). Take it half an hour at a time.

I'm off for a bath in a little while but will pop back later x

We're all here :) The triggers are so hard to deal with, aren't they? Herbal tea sounds just the ticket.

Hi all, another newbie, inspired by all you fabulous babes

I?m jumping on this bus and am strapping myself in, there are seat belts aren?t there? I?m thinking this is going to be a bit of a bumpy journey so will be in need of one.

I have been losing myself in a bottle of wine or more every night for the last few years, it has become my coping mechanism to deal with my DP?s depression, my own insecurities and to mask a multitude of other emotional parasites which have been eating away at me, I don?t end up drunk, it just takes the edge off. I?ve started seeing a counsellor who is fabulous and helping me to try and make sense of the mess in my head, but I need to stop drinking for both my physical and mental health.

So here we go, I have made the decision not to drink tonight

Casa I 2nd what Faire said about eating something. Hunger was a massive trigger for me, coupled with this time of day when the daily stresses are coming to a head.

I have made a conscious effort to eat my dinner much earlier, often with the DCs, and have found that the craving subsides as soon as I am full. It does mean that DH has to eat on his own later in the evening, but frankly, when I was pissed he may as well have been on his own anyway!

Give it a try

msgee so glad you're still on board, you are indeed two wks ahead of me leading the way.

Faire he was fine but yes, happy to see me and lots of cuddles. Good to see you.

New laptop tomorrow thank goodness, typing on phone is a pita!

Hang on through trigger o clock babes. I look forward to ds being in bed so i can curl up on sofa with something yummy to eat and peace and quiet.

Thanks to everyone for their support. I'm feeling positive that i can do this!

Eating is definitely a good thing at this time. I always feel low between 4 and 5 and have used booze to pep me up instead of having something sensible to eat.

Good luck everyone with not drinking tonight. Can i get through The Apprentice without a drink- now that is a challenge :)

Evening, tis me, Mouse

MsGee - I wasn't sure if you were ahead or not, I'm sorry I got it wrong. I'm so pleased you are still sober, I bet you are too. Massive hugs to you and LMG xx

Saf - yay for new laptop tomorrow. I'm glad you managed to survive your wobble. It's so nice to see such positive posts and heaps of encouragement, you really are thinking differently. xx

HR - I've tried most drugs out there for the pain. And then some. Currently, yes, it's the morphine that helps. It doesn't eradicate the pain but it does kick it into touch for a while. Thank you for asking. xx

Welcome to the NewBabes

To those who asked about cutting down and how best to do it, for me, it was to give myself permission to drink that played a key role in it. If I knew I couldn't or rather shouldn't drink, I'd want to all the more.

If I allowed myself to drink, the pressure to conform was gone and the novelty soon wore off. I just CBA now if truth be told. If I fancy a drink, I'll have one. But that's just the thing...... 1 isn't manageable for everyone. You have to try what you think you can manage, don't expect miracles.

You will crave drinking if you give it so much of your life, if you make it a huge part of your time. Try to distance yourself from the danger zones for a few days or a week.....

So, no pub, wine aisle, friends houses with copious amount of wine to hand. Plan your day away from alcohol. If you really so want to stop drinking (JUST FOR TOADY) then you should do everything in your power to do so. Easier said than done? Not really. If you want it enough, not just say so, or try to make yourself think that you do, then just stop.

You won't miss out on anything, if you stop. Why not try?

Soma - Well done on not drinking last night. I promise that it you could do a number of nights in a run, 3/4/5, once you get over that initial slump, you'd feel so much better about everything. Sleep, the way you look, your skin, your eyes, you will feel brighter. What's not to love about that!

Last night at my friend's house, we drank Mocktails and ate yoghurt (she works for Muller) and nattered on for hours.

We don't need wine/drink to feel that we have something in common, we like each other as people too, which I guess is the risk you run if you change from drinking to not...... do you still keep the same circle of friends?

Do they want you there, do you want to see them if they're drinking?

I did wonder about that when I stopped binging and drinking to self medicate or de-stress etc, if I'd not want to go out at night with them. But that wasn't the case. I think that if you have friends who drink with you, around you, or without you anyway, and you stop, if they stay in your life then they are true friends.

If they support you, cheer you on, then in my book, they are friends worth hanging on to.

Feeding time now, I'm going to try Nemo with some Farley's rusk.... of course I'll have to sample it first

Be back later on,

Mouse xx

Mouse I was only teasing! lovely to see everyone again.

I wish I had a great answer as to how I've done this hopefully. No AA, no external support. Just the babes and DH. I just got so tired of drinking. Of thinking about drinking. Of being drink when I didn't plan to be. It just became easier not to drink.

will be back later. Listening to DD meltdown at the moment.

Good evening Babes

Sorry for my pity party earlier .
Just posting quickly to say thankyou to everyone. It is great having you all to confide in. I'm knackered (feel as though I am catching up on years of sleep) so going to have a long bath with a trashy magazine then snuggle on sofa to watch the Apprentice.

xxx

Welcome Nibbled - I agree, the thought of not drinking is like a bereavement because it's been a so-called "friend" for so long. Truth your post sounds down but the best part of it is that you're saying you have NO DESIRE TO DRINK. That's huge although adjusting to a new way of living is going to be tough. I can't even contemplate it at the moment, so it's one day at a time.

Sarah thanks for advice about antabuse, no drinking tonight because I'm driving and wouldn't jeopardise anything tomorrow by drinking. You sound so happy, how's the piano going? Brilliant post Faire, love your list of so-called strengths, the horrors we put ourselves through day after day because we choose to drink. Casa 4-5 is a danger time for me also, actually it often starts around 2! Eating early is a great idea because when I'm full I lose the desire to drink. Mouse thanks for your support, have done day 2 and because I have my appointment on Friday to keep me going, hope to have 4 days under my belt by then.

I've been equally upbeat and hopeful today as scared and anxious about the future. I just have to keep telling myself that with alcohol in my life, the future would be a far scarier place....

Truth I can't think of a nicer way to spend an evening. Enjoy xx

haven't heard that one msgee whose it by?

thanks mouse. I'm leaving the world of mac sadly so will be utterly clueless with the laptop till i acquaint myself with the evils of ms windows again but i'll be a lot better off money-wise for it. Amazed at how much you can get for your money when you step away from apple.

Busy day tomorrow, coffee at a friend's then meeting, then tesco then lug stuff home on bus and collapse. Luckily ds has been invited to tea at his friend's after school which puts an extra couple of hours in my day.

How's everyone doing? Nearly the end of hardest part of day. Off to read story

Hopefully one question about antabuse and it sounds really silly. But I've heard that a side-effect can be (shudders) bad breath! I haven't got anyone to snog at the moment and it all sounds terribly trivial but has it been an issue for you? Of course no way would it stop me taking the stuff but just want to be prepared....