Help again please wise women. Make or break meeting

[MissFaversham]

I started a thread a while ago called "A heart felt thanks".

I kicked semi-living with me DP for 3 years out a couple of weeks ago (I think as minds in a bit of a muddle).

We are due to meet at 9 in the local to thrash things out once and for all.

I need help to clarify my proposals.

Brief outline - (obviously my take on things)

He has two jobs and a nearly ex with 3 children. I have one teenager.
He works very hard and I know that but what I get is a grumpy arse most of the time, and what I would call selfish behaviour (will clarify if asked). Anything he has to do in our (his new relationship) is usually begrudgingly, hence our fall out as I have had enough. I know he works hard blah blah blah due to his former circumstances.

Anyway.

My proposals are:

No keys to my home.
Go back to the beginning and date again.
Have a total break for a couple of months and reconvene (looks like an odd spelling here).

I'm also not very good at telling all that has gone on as don't want my dilema to sound like a boring script, therefore I will sort of have to half drip feed as I go along (I find this term rather harsh when used and I prefer to call it divulging further information when prompting)

I guess what I'm trying to ask is are my proposals reasonable.

Izzy FTW!! I've lost count now, I just seem to follow and repeat that. In my defence my screen hadn't refreshed as I was typing while in no way thinking about a ciggie

MissF, if it were to come to a straight choice between the fags and giving this nobber any houseroom again....choose the tubes

You know it makes sense

I want to be given your houseroom AF... I want to sniff your curry...

You know AF makes sense!

Oh my god I think I'm finally having a teenage idol moment.

MissF - it is fine to waver in thought but not in deed. The cigs'll give you at least 30 years of enjoyment before the worst happens but he won't give you 30 days.

I still support you in what you want to do re the tobaccy

Good morning again. Had to go pick up DS from Cadets and then hand over my laptop to aid his lovelife so he could skype his girlfriend (note to self - stick his ruddy thing in and get more memory put on it). I didn't do a disappearing act.

Feeling brighter today and having a bit of a spring clean (removing all traces )

Just to explain about the ciggy thing - my mum was admitted to hospital a couple of days ago due to pneumonia and has just been diagnosed with Emphasymia, which sort of scared the shit out of me forced me into action. I've also made a promise to myself to give up by my 50th birthday.

Right, off i trott to squirt my refresh in ALL nooks and crannies!

I am taking notice of all you say you know

I bloody well hope so, MissF. I wouldn't like to think of all these pearls of hard won wisdom falling on deaf ears

Only smoke the fags you know you'll especially enjoy and don't smoke more than 5 a day. If you give up, don't make the mistake of thinking you can be a 'social smoker' wishes could follow own advice.

knowing that I've tried all the above more times that I wish to admit to recount.

Sorry to hear about your mum MissF

Wishing you both strength x

Hi Nic,

Mum's 81 now so it's ok. Dr said she could last another 5 years as no need for oxygen etc. She's a tough old bird that one.

like daughter like mum, yeah ?

Hi AF I damn well hope not but I'm sort of glad I am, we are all a product of our beginnings (mum was an alcoholic for 20 years and told me to stay and rot with my father at 13) probably due to her awful upbringing, she carried this over but we have now made out peace. I however, am proud to say my 14 year old son is the light of my life and a kind, caring inspiration to me. I'm very soft centred with an armour that has a few holes in I guess. I refuse to change my very self and would rather take the knocks along the way. I'm still learning of course

Gosh, that was a bit of a spew!

blimey

that pressed a button, but you should talk more, you sound like my kinda gal

Protective barriers huh AF I also don't like to sound like I'm bleating the poor me, I'd rather help others as it helps me.

you don't sound like you are bleating

I do a brief me-spew every so often, but it soon goes back into hiding

Add to the mix we're both scorps of course

you and your mum are both scorps ?

Sorry AF I didn't make myself clear (as usual) I was saying you and I are... I was on the "Scorpio" thread same as you a while back.

My mum is a Leo and strangely enough my two best pals are also Leo's.

ah, I was having a "wtf" moment there ....outed ? < paranoid >

yes, I am a Scorpio, isn't it funny that even though I didn't believe in all that woo stuff, the star signs really do seem to have personality indicators

cross posted

yes, what leaks out occasionally, certainly on MN (which is the only online forum I use, apart from FB) is anger

Now feel I'm having too much of a private conversation over the airways and Don't answer that last whisper. A PM another day may be what's needed.

Thank you for answering with honesty AF. I felt I had just put you in an uncomfortable position there and it wasn't my intention.

you didn't at all, I post on so many threads (I do have a life, honest) I forget where I have been

this is your thread, you can chat about anything you like

Gosh, really really wants to but it's them damn barriers again

One day I will tell how awful it is to grow up not having a mum's love and the sheer effect it brings. I'm still emotionally 13 a lot of the time. That and the anger that you think you control yet of course seeps out.

I now look at my 80 year old mum and want to say, you have no idea what you did. But I end up saying, without her I wouldn't be here.

that is very evocative, MissF

I can feel how it has affected you in just that couple of sentences

have you seen the "Stately Homes" thread ?

I lurk there, but daren't post, because if I did, I wouldn't stop

every so often, when I leak a bit, some wise and lovely posters say "come on over" but I don't