No make up no bragging, no kissing, no shagging, no tumbling hair, be a maiden fair. And you definitely won't see him for dust! Dating thread 14

[ChaoticismyLife]

Chastity belts at the ready...

Extra strong padlocks required...

I don't see why not and after POF you've had plenty of practice

Not really my thing. Though I bet i would be good at pole dancing if only I had the god damned figure, and wasn't blabba belly

That's what I was thinking Chaotic. I was thinking of putting a bit of an ad in my profile, that should bring me quite a few clients, seeing as they expect it for free on there

Not really my thing. Though I bet i would be good at pole dancing if only I had the god damned figure, and wasn't blabba belly

Problem is the cheapskates will probably disappear the minute they're expected to pay for something

Hey, just imagine, no more box colours ever again

He's holding a posy or roses

You've come up with some decent potatoes tonight though Chaotic. Mine are proper old potatoes compared to yours. I may have to move.

posy of roses

It'll make a change

The hairdresser is called Claudio. He is sending me messages typed with an accent. I'm struggling.

Bedtime I think. I was up a 7am this morning and it's been that long since I last saw 7am that I forgot it existed

Night.

Before I go, actually typed with an accent?

You need character map.

In RL he probably has a broad northern accent, slightly high pitched

I'd take the bike It's the fastest way to get away from them both.

Now I really am going.

Missed your earlier post, yes, typed as though he speaks in broken English. Totally fake! I think my hairdresser is actually a bin man from Doncaster.

Goodnight Chaotic, think I will get some sleep too!

Night chaotic been talking to J.C who is on my fb if anyone wants a peek. He seems very lovely

Evening all,

Time that profile actually made me throw up a little in my mouth.

I went to a 'How to meet men' talk with a life coach last night. His brilliant advice? NEVER go up and talk to a man you find attractive. He will shock horror think you want to have sex with him. Ditto his advice for online dating was never message a man first.

Suffice to say we did not hit it off

Oh, and tonight I have had a lovely message on OKC suggesting that I change my hairstyle so that men aren't intimidated by me. Apparently my chin length Louise Brooks style bob suggests 'Femdom' and is off putting.

I literally have no words left to describe my current feelings...

I wonder if he posted on Sponges thread under a guise! What a knob! So let a decent bloke pass you by just in case he happens to think you want sex with him? Well, if he is attractive enough for me to approach I will definitely want sex with him so it's a no fail situation

re that message! I hope you came back with a cutting response?? Like "Well, at least I can change my hair, not much you can do about your face but I'm sure Shrek is pleased you exist, makes him feel a lot better about himself" Then block!

Onwards and upwards Milk

Time I have never heard such an old pile of sh**te as the guy was peddling quite frankly. I told him about my flatmate, who has a lovely boyfriend who she made the first move on. He said he would never have spoken to her in a million years as he thought she was out of his league! His reply was "Well I'm not saying there aren't exceptions"

He was waffling on about how man are more visual creatures than women as well. Which is another of my pet hates! THEN he topped it off by saying he would never try and chat up an English girl because we are all unfriendly. He's a fecking life coach! [shocked]

I never even answered the message. I wouldn't waste my breath. I love my hair. it gets loads of compliments. One fairly podgy and unattractive mans comments aren't going to change my mind.

I hope you didn't pay to attend that tripe Milk? And where do all these rules come from? I hate rules! Why can't we just do what we feel is right? I do what I feel is right for me and I haven't died yet Pulling a man isn't difficult and it isn't rocket science. We are single not because we can't pull a man, but because we are not settling for any old dross! There is a difference. I hate that women are made to feel like failures if they are single, made to feel that they must be doing something wrong. It's a good job I wasn't at the session, I would have given him a right run for his money!

Good for you re the ugly bloke. He probably said it just to get a response from you, some men do that, they say something offensive just to get you talking. They are generally the ugly ones who feel they have nothing else going for them. Says it all really.

I paid a tenner time least well spent £10 in my life.

Yes he was all about how dating is a 'game'. How we should give guys a chance even if we are less than 50/50 sure about them. Which I think is code for 'Just go out with anyone'.

He even trotted out the cliche about always looking your best at all times because you never know when you will meet the perfect man. Arrrrggghhh! I mean that's vitally important ya know, what with men being such 'visual' creatures!

It's very true what you say about some men just saying mean things to get you talking. Sort of the grown up version of tripping you up in the schoolyard maybe?

Yes I hate the whole idea that a woman is a failure if she is single as well. Even my mother said last week that I was too shallow. Meaning that I will only go for men who (in my opinion at least) are utterly gorgeous. I just CAN'T bring myself to be interested in someone I'm only 'meh' about. All my exs have been beauties, and I don't see why I should suddenly lower my standards. I may be a little older now at (gasp) 33, but I look after myself, and I'm far from chopped liver. If anything I spend most of my nights out telling the 22 year olds that come on to me that I'm too old for them