No make up no bragging, no kissing, no shagging, no tumbling hair, be a maiden fair. And you definitely won't see him for dust! Dating thread 14

[ChaoticismyLife]

Chastity belts at the ready...

Extra strong padlocks required...

Just friends makes me feel special. The hugs are always non gropey just caring. Which is wonderful. The way he was with me, wanting me to be sure.

Fuck hurry up and get back to me!

I've deleted my profile on POF.

I feel liberated.

I also have doors the door man has moved a massive wardrobe in one of the rooms ON HIS OWN to put the door in.

I am very impressed.

Horray for doors!

Brilliant Sponge! Who needs a man when you have doors!!! DOORS!!!

And well done on joining my exclusive 'deleted profile' club. We do have one lapsed member, who has passed to the dark side, and is actually paying for posh cock, but I am sure she will be back. As sure as eggs is eggs, she will be back!

It's v exciting. The doors will have locks too! I have had no doors for 5 years. and there have never been locks.

I may have to ask the door man to marry me by the end of the week

My BF and I have decided that bloke from Monday was a bit odd (to put it mildly) I sent her some of his texts and she was .

Hellloo girlies (does me sound happy?) I have just been asked out (not by just friends, he doesnt get back for another 3 days) but he seems nice, sweet, not after sex. All sounds promising. I was on whatsapp to him. He is fit too..... Do I stay or do I go? If I don't hold out til Saturday I might regret it.

Sponge Locks are good!! BUT, I am a bit worried that you yourself didn't realise man from Monday was odd, until friend checked texts. That worries me does. Yes.

MLM I would be more excited over doors, with locks. Sorry! BUT, as there is nothing going on with Just Friends, other than being just friends, if you are indeed still friends when he gets back, then go on the date.

MLM, date! Date! Date! Date! GO out with him, no eggs all in one basket..

I will be back, i know it, you know it... :)

First message on the times website.. University lecturer, articulate, complimentary, face like a bag of spanners.....

And OH GOD! Doors! :)

Just get some new doors Snape, much, more fulfilling. I bet Sponge keeps going for a look at her doors, keeps playing with the handles, rubbing her hands up and down the soft woodwork, gently opening and closing them whilst gazing at them lovingly. Now that is love!!

He was over-keen tbh. I thought it was just his age, naivety on his part etc - (if he was my age I would have thought he was a nutter) the reality was possibly more calculated. BF thinks that he was looking for someone who was a bit of a victim - which I in no way come across as in person - who he could manipulate. Hence why the lack of interest after we met. I don't know that I agree, she is very cynical! At worst she is right, at best he is a bit young and naive, and that was why his texts were as they were, and in the flesh I intimidated the hell out of him. But either way it doesn't matter.

No, it doesn't matter. Because you have doors!

And a party to look forward to! Tis all fab!

MLM, go on the date@!!!!!!!!!!_

Sponge, odd how? Did you not notice?
( again proves it wasn't you. You also said you had words before you met but it was you over reacting.... Clearly it wasn't. You need to trust your instincts Mrs... It seems they work well :) )

Sponge, It's possible she's right..or because of his age he was just totally intimidated.
See. It's really not you, you need to stop automatically blaming yourself :)

Doors sound very good :)

So is it your birthday tomorrow sponge? Am losing track of various things (all the work I'm doing at the moment).

Go on the date MLM :)

I gave him a bit a lot of leeway because of his age, and the fact in the last few years he's lost his mum, met his gf, had a baby with her, split up, and now he doesn't see his dd. I was a real fuck-up after I lost my parents, and hated being on my own, the one thing I really wanted was someone to cuddle me and tell me it would be ok. So being overkeen, I could relate to, because it's possibly how I would have been...

The words thing wasn't my fault on reflection, he made a mountain out of a molehill. I should probably be grateful I had a lucky escape - before I'd even met him he was asking me not to hurt him .

Ah, you were projecting yourself onto him. It's easy to do that. But isn't always right..

I think you did know things weren't right. You said he was a disaster before you even met him. You had words, then doubted yourself. You need to start listening to yourself and trusting your own judgement I think..because you are worth it, and do know.

I did say that, didn't I? It was nice having someone say how lovely I was (I mean, I know I am but it was nice to hear it back!) and I think I got swept away - not with that exactly but more the whole thing of breaking the first date curse.

Have deleted myself off everything. Am going to go out over the next few weeks to prolong the bday celebrations and try and meet someone in RL for a change. Can't be any worse than online!

And Miranda, yes, in 7 hours time (I was born at 4am, my poor mum!) I will be 40!

Right. I'm long time lurker, have shared couple of stories on here in past and on the other thread. I used to OD so follow your stories with interest (its like having a life again!) and you all make me laugh.

I want to say something though that I've been wanting to say for ages.

MLM - I want to take you home and look after you. Wrap you in a blanket. I think you should stop dating totally

Honestly, you sound like you've had a terrible time with your ex and you were/are very young. You need, IMHO, to concentrate on you and your DS. Get yourself well and confident, really confident.

I'm a patronising arse, but you remind me of my best friend. She's always falling in love with different blokes all the time and getting shit on by them and just not realising that she's giving out the wrong vibes totally. She comes across as needy, immature and a doormat. I'm not explaining this well am I? I'm really not trying to be insulting at all, I could just cry for you because you seem like a lovely young girl who's had a really bad experience and has lost her way a bit.

And please try and think about this, don't just be defensive, really have a think. By 'falling in love' I mean thinking that you and someone are 'going steady/exclusive' when you haven't even been on a date, or pinning all your hopes on someone that might not give a shit. You're laying yourself open for hurt. To me, you give yourself away too easily. I don't mean sexually, sexually you do want you want, no one else's business, I mean your feelings.

Like this - "Someone said to me (i was the only female in a room of males) would I do x y and z to (named each of themselves) and one said they would pay me. I told them I don't do it for money, I do it for enjoyment. It shut them up though. They then asked if i would sleep with my bestie while they watched, obviously I said no but to shut them up permanently i said i would have my old best friend".

If anyone asked me a question like that in a room full of men (or women) I would have walked out. Its crass, juvenile, sexist crap quite frankly. And actually I can't imagine anyone ever saying something like that to me because, I assume, I am respected? Not sure that's the right word but they just wouldn't

I truly hope you're not offended because I'm trying to give you the benefit of age, I've got 12 years on you and just want to try to help you avoid heartbreak.

Puffin. You aren't saying anything we all haveht said to mlm before.

Mlm you know we all feel this way. You know we have all said exactly the same things, several times, and that we care. We do actually care.

Puffin, she wont listen and It's sad, because everyone cares and wants to help.

Sponge, yes, yes you did :) you knew :) :) you just.didn't trust yourself. And I said it was about the second date thing.. :)
I know compliments are nice, and its so easy to get carried away and excited about these things, sort of bypassing the facts ( I did it with the weird one, went.on a date because I was curious, thought.he possibly was odd with social problems. Had a fab first date due to rum, got over excited, and came back to earth with a bump on the second date when I realized my first assumption was right and he was odd)
It's all a learning curve :) so.long as you learn from it :)

Back again, had to go to evening class :)

sponge I think in a week or two you should have a door warming party I also think you should trust your instincts.

Time you could have a point about posh frocks/cocks...I'll bear that in mind

I think we all feel a little protective of MLM, she is very young ( i know that sounds horribly patronising, sorry...) i do broadly agree with puffin though. I do worry about you..

Chaotic I had reason to wear a nice dress yesterday, and heels, and I got a lot of attention. I'm not bragging, just saying, cos I noticed a difference from when I'm wearing jeans or leggings etc. Usually I'm rather invisible. Yesterday I was not. Hence, I shall be wearing dresses more often!!

Agree re MLM, as I'm sure we all do.

Sorry you lot, hadn't realised you'd already had the conversation

Was just talking to DP about it and he's all 'why is this bothering you??' Its bothering me I think because MLM seems lovely and like she needs a bit of mothering and looking after And probably because I couldn't 'save' my friend, don't ask but it didn't end well, and I want to save you MLM. Yes, I know that sounds crap but seriously poppet if I could have given me this advice when I was 18 things would have been easier. Not that my 18 year old self would have listened though. Argh.

I'll stop banging on. MLM tell me if you want me to delete my post and I will, should have sent as PM, sorry

I would have walked out the room but they always done it before in front of my ex so I stood up for me for a change.

He says he works nights on a weekend in a night club so it would have to be a week day. See how it goes.

You know I think maybe concentrating on me is a good thing.

I know just friends does care, some of the things, etc but not sure in what way anymore. Maybe I pushed things, maybe he is worried like you guys that I am fragile. And I appreciate your concern.

I don't want to go falling in love, cos love hurts, but maybe one day.......unless usher or Leonardo dicaprio comes along a girl can dream

Just nice to spend time with someone who I can chat to, gives decent hugs and watch a shitty film with. I miss my old boy bestie from secondary school (he eventually turned out gay, he would be perfect about now)