No make up no bragging, no kissing, no shagging, no tumbling hair, be a maiden fair. And you definitely won't see him for dust! Dating thread 14

[ChaoticismyLife]

Chastity belts at the ready...

Extra strong padlocks required...

Well, the silly line on engineers thing was a little bit tongue in cheek - I am one too!

re relate: actually that stemmed from a a different set of things with the counsellor - my hopelessness with moving on from being just friends with someone/falling into that friendship only thing. Those are totally my own uselessness.

Nah - I reckon I might have got over sensitive with one of the posts from Chaotic - so apologies if it came across as being angry. It came across to me like 'all people from background x must be slaves to culture', and it's something I genuinely have been baffled by my entire life, like I say, even people who I've assumed know me well ask the silliest stuff!

f l you had a lucky escape. ANyone who talks about babies & moving house on a 2nd or 3rd date is moving waaaay too fast. He'd have railroaded you into misery within months. Don't see him again (unless you're just after a shag)

time - you are in a club all of your own!
:)

ah - i dont need a hug, im good. but ill take one anyway ;)

Councilling, or a whole lot of working through back issues are good things, helps past mistakes not be made again. Everyone makes mistakes, we are human, it just learning from them that is important.

snape - course it is:)
you know you are going to do it :)

george - ah, i didnt know that. It read as a negative comment.

oh no, mine are still deleted! This is an entirely new one! it doesn't count! this one doesn't count until I open my wallet and get to the level of desperation where I actually have to (whispers) pay. for, it.

and I added the anti-child one to my favourites, so he will act out of curiosity, click on my profile and see exactly what he is missing! hah!

you're right, I am both hypocritical and fickle, what can I say, I'm a mess of PM hormones, I shag to forget!

and george - i cant see where chaotic has said that at all. but if you are carrying it around as an issue... then maybe you are hyper sensitive to it and seeing things that arent actually there.

The counselling was just a start for me, it opened doors, made me aware of things and helped me to move in the right direction. Counselling is makes you aware of things but you do have to do the work yourself, otherwise you are still stuck!

fairplay watch - for future reference, computer programmers and their ilk (which I mentioned I was) are engineers too.

Funny how a jokey comment can be taken completely wrongly - interesting!

Snape - I always pay! I know there is a theory that only desperados go on paid sites, but I have a reverse theory on that, in that I think if you are paying for it, you are taking it more seriously! I suspect that neither theory is completely correct - but mine makes me feel better.

You're learning fast George!

Snape! I think we need a special group for those addicted to dating sites, those who know they gain nothing from them but just can't let go. I had withdrawal symptoms last night from not being able to click on the POF tab! I actually missed it!! Can't say I missed the feeling of disappointment though!

Agree with Time, counselling is just a start - you then have to act on it. Bit like what Watch is saying about learning from your experiences.
Our collective wisdom is mind-blowing!

must, must, must do some bloody work and stop posting on here before I get the sack

George the same applies to a comment on a forum, or a dating site, that too can be taken wrong. It's how it is interpreted, each individual will interpret things differently, depending on where their mind is at.

Time whatever you call it enjoy the exclusivity

All of my profiles are still hidden, I can't bring myself to delete my fab profile , but the man I'm in contact with, via email, was one of my contacts on Oasis before I hid the profile. I sent him my dating email addy and he'd replied this morning when I checked so I've just replied to him.

my name is snape and I'm an internet dating addoct. It has been two days since I deleted all of my profiles and 32 minutes since I winked at someone, only on the basis that he has good hair and if I squint he looks vaguely like Johnny depp.

I am coming around to the opinion that you get what you pay for. free sites are McDonalds French fries, paying sites are dauphinoise.

The problem with paid sites arises when the chef you've hired turns out to be a fake who has lied about his qualifications

Time how about Timeless and exclusive? As you can see naming things isn't my strong point

Going back and reading the comments:

Chaotic's remarks - "I'll also admit there are men from some other cultures that I won't get involved in because I couldn't live with the 'requirements'* of their culture. "

"Hi George yes, I see what you mean but even if it's only some of the requirements of the culture/religion (should have included that before), with my luck, it would probably be the ones I couldn't live with. Plus there's also the possibility that they may just move the goalposts when they get older. I'm playing safe and avoiding altogether."

You're right, I complete agree with them.

And maybe I was hypersensitive, but I'm not part of the culture that people assume and so I feel like I'm on a hiding to nothing! I can't relate to the people people think I should have a cultural affinity with, and then I've got others assuming I probably have all sorts of weird requirements that I don't have. That's how it came across to me even if there was no intention of that!

Sorry chaotic!

I'll level - I have never talked about this to anyone before, and I guess I was suddenly having an outpouring of how I feel about that. Maybe I should get help.

Apologies because it's clearly out of context with the rest of the thread - and not the right place to be discussing it!

I feel all lonely Chaotic. I suppose I can be the voice of reason when you are all crying moaning over your dates or lack of them??

Snape I look like Liz Hurley in my photo's if men squint. You are setting yourself up for disappointment. You are going to part with your money in order to contact this man and find yourself sitting across from <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=4.bp.blogspot.com/_T7BhcH-_Lqw/TLzlgEa2pPI/AAAAAAAAD84/QFkP7OiLRVE/s1600/charles%2Blaughton.jpg&imgrefurl=wonderfulwonderblog.blogspot.com/2010/10/whos-your-favorite-quasimodo.html&h=537&w=695&sz=49&tbnid=UC6JqW42uXEPwM:&tbnh=90&tbnw=116&zoom=1&docid=K_UsqiGPHoo5WM&sa=X&ei=pK-zT9SMA8_p8QPI38WtCQ&ved=0CHkQ9QEwAQ&dur=195" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=4.bp.blogspot.com/_T7BhcH-_Lqw/TLzlgEa2pPI/AAAAAAAAD84/QFkP7OiLRVE/s1600/charles%2Blaughton.jpg&imgrefurl=wonderfulwonderblog.blogspot.com/2010/10/whos-your-favorite-quasimodo.html&h=537&w=695&sz=49&tbnid=UC6JqW42uXEPwM:&tbnh=90&tbnw=116&zoom=1&docid=K_UsqiGPHoo5WM&sa=X&ei=pK-zT9SMA8_p8QPI38WtCQ&ved=0CHkQ9QEwAQ&dur=195. You do know that don't you? Same hair.

just got a wink from a 55 year old.

some things never change.

Time I literally lol'd at that Btw, depending on how this contact goes I'll most likely be joining you in that club.

George no problem. Just to make it clear, I'm not talking about every single culture, just the ones that aren't compatible with me.

Time thanks for the hug :)I am deleting my POF profile as soon as I get home, actually quite looking forward to it!

I have new doors at home . As the door man is going to be working at mine Saturday morning, might ask if he wants to come to my party later on. Of course if I do it will turn out either that he's not single, or if he is, I'll only see him once, such is my success with men

actually dipping my toes back in might just confirm my deletion frenzy, still I'll give it a couple of days before another flounce.

George, I know lots of jobs could be described as ' engineers' but in relevance to the area, you said it was a nice place, bar the engineers. I replied saying I was an ex engineers wife. You replied with ' god, poor you'

You may have meant it as a joke, unfortunately in the written Text, without body language, nuanances and expressions, there are no ways to tell..

Snape, a welcoming wink from a 55 year old just to welcome you back to the joy of online dating :)

Bloody hell, if we're going to dissect things in public watch...in first message mention I correct computer programmer's mistakes, pretty much an engineers role. So, moving back to the location, after you'd said you'd lived here too....:

me : 'Oh yes, xxxx is a great place - but it's full of engineers!'

I'd put in an exclamation mark - which I thought was a simple, jokey self deprecation', especially when you replied:

you: 'haha - ex engineers wife!'

which I took as a knowing wink, so replied

me: 'God, poor you!'

Again, with an exclamation mark. We're clearly just not on the same page here, so I think you can all safely cancel the hat orders ladies!

To be honest, I think I'm just confirming to myself exactly why internet dating is such a fraught experience. It's just one catastrophic misunderstanding after another...!

watch & george I will bang your heads together!