If you met your partner for the first time today, would you still go out with them?

[MrAdekunleElvis]

Or choose to settle down with them?

Yes, probably. Although, possibly not due to circumstances. If he gets the new job he's applied for then he'd be moving away, so wouldn't really get a chance.

One of my (many ) "this is really it, it's over" moments with XP was when we went out for dinner near the end of the relationship, sitting there in silence I realised that if it was a first date, I wouldn't bother to make a second one.

Life's too short.

Yes, definitely. Though if I knew what I know now I would probably tell him to stay away from me. He has been through hell with me, and he didn't deserve it. I had a fucked up childhood and I was always expecting him to hurt me, so I pushed and pushed him and he never once retaliated, not even a tiny bit. He just stayed put and told me he loved me no matter how badly I treated him. If he'd come on MN and posted about me he would have been told to leave, ASAP. I have changed, a massive amount, and I am trying to be the partner he deserves but I still don't think I am. He would disagree. Poor man.

Yes, I think so - BUT

• I would have waited longer to go out with him, as I think it was too soon after an abusive ex and
• he would have to have lived away from home for a while first.

The 2 together would have (hopefully) prevented the EA-shit I got from his family for over 30 years. Now no contact.

Still, have been married 35 years this year - don't know how, as I can't possibly be that old. Even more shocking, just thinking, my df died before he'd been married 33 years (althought that might have been due to the stress of being married to 'd'm).

Yes. She's totally fit and has got sexier with age.

Yes! Definately!

Awww gay thats lovely! Wish my DP felt like that aout me!

Definitely. He's my lobster

I would, but it would take persuasion on his behalf! It took us 6 years to get together (with him being my best friend the entire time!) so it would take an evening of him being particularly witty and nerdy for me to go out on a date Saying that, he has always impressed me with how quick he is to retort and how funny he is so maybe not an entire night of persuasion!

But then, on the other hand, I asked him out four years ago and he turned me down so it may take persuasion on my behalf too!

[Grin]@ ratata's lobster... that's what I say about mine.. awesome ain't it my parents are still like that after 30 odd years of marriage, hopefully me and MrP will be too!

I'm with Snoopdogg here. If I met XH now I would see the red flags waving thanks to MN and run a mile. At the time I though "aw he needs someone to take care of him" then I bent myself out of shape trying to be everything he wanted. Now I am much more assertive and know who I am and wouldn't change to please anyone! He did give me wonderful DC though.

New DP, festooned in green bunting, doesn't want me to change and I am not going to rescue him at all, just enjoy his company and his adoration. So yes to him, but we only had our first date 8 months ago.

I would him, he hasn't changed but in a good way. He has put on a bit of weight, but he was very skinny before.

I don't think he would me. I'm very fat now and my self esteem is rock bottom, which is unattractive. I think in some ways I'm just a huge disappointment to him and a lot of the time I'm pretty sure I've slowly ruined his life over the last six years. I honestly cannot see why he's still with me, and I don't think he can either.

Yes, 16 years on I cannot imagine being with anyone else.

Yes, 27 years on I still can't believe my luck.

Yes (21 years)

Yes, I still adore him (together 20 years)

Yes, and reading the relationships threads on here, and RL situations have made me realise how lucky I am to have such a decent, lovely bloke.

Yes, I lurve him, he is brill. And unfortunately the more I read on MN about various horrible men I realise how amazing he is and lurve him more. In fact I wish I could share him around - but he's mine!!!

Just saw Wigeon's post and agree completely.

I would not change my DP for the world.

Hell no but to be fair I think he'd run a mile if he saw me coming gain.

Absolutely, after 25 years he just gets better and better. Sure we annoy the hell out of each other at times but I could not ask for a more wonderful person in my life. I am very very lucky!

Yes, he has matured well and is a lovely man who puts his family first.

I have an extra 2 stone on, but hey, more to love for him.

Indeed wigeon and angelico ...but no sharing going on here either..my Sis reckons I should get him a t shirt with 'taken' across it (think she has a bit of a crush) but I figure putting a ring on his finger is the same thing lol

Yes he's defo got better looking with age. I don't know about the other way round though

If I knew what I know now, no way.