If you met your partner for the first time today, would you still go out with them?

[MrAdekunleElvis]

Or choose to settle down with them?

With the benefit of mumsnet, no. What I now know are BIG RED FLAGS were waving around him like he is the Chinese Premier.

I have learnt that:

It is not sweet and adorable that he wants to marry you and swears undying love within two weeks, you are not irresistible, he's unstable

His ex wife was not the bitch from hell but you in four years

Wanting to do everything for you is not caring, it's controlling.

Thanks mumsnet

but also at the happy Mumsnetters.

I know I cheated in my reply to this thread as I was referring to an ex-partner.

Never mind.

No.

No.I have my lovely daughters now.

Not personal,but I'd be happy without a man in my life.

Yes, even after 13 years.

Yes without a second's thought. In a heartbeat.

Yes I would.

But that is not to say our marriage is perfect or that sometimes I feel I'd be happier on my own - because marriage is built on compromise and sometimes I don't want to compromise.

I don't believe in perfect, true love. I believe in shared values and friendship and enjoying life together and having a laugh etc etc.

And all his annoying habits have always been there - there have been no suprises!

Oh and we are good at making fabulous children!

Definitely, I fancy him every bit as much as I did 12 years ago and love him sooo much more.

Yes, we were engaged at 3 weeks and married within a year. We've been together 17 years now.

Agree with proudnscary.. it hasn't all been sunshine and pixie dust and he's not perfect but then neither am I. But I wouldn't change a thing and I wouldn't be without him. And we make beautiful babies there's a song called 'rose garden ' my mum listened to when I was a kid...'along with the sunshine, there's gonna be a little rain sometimes ' ...so even with knowing everything wasn't always going to be sunny, if he walked down the street now, I'd still do it all again in a heartbeat.

MrsPtoBe - goosebumps @ rose garden!

I don't think so. Seriously I have never seen someone become so entitled since having children. And someone to have the ability to enjoy sex with no concern for the other partners enjoyment. Blurgh!

Lovely kids though good sperm only positive quality

Yes - more so as he is a great dad and very patient.... The kids adore him ... And he puts up with me

Actually on reflection he was always an entitled spoiled brat. I just told myself he was "driven" at the tender age of 20!

Yes! He is one of the kindest, sexiest men I've ever met. I don't think I'd think "wow" passing him in the street anymore (harsh!) but he's got this way of making anyone he talks to feel like the centre of the universe for five minutes and during the many years we have been together he has never once lost his temper or shouted at me (afraid I'm not nearly as much of a saint). I don't know how I ever had a functioning relationship with any of my exes now I've known a relationship like this. He solves all my problems without even meaning to.

And I'm pretty much the same as when we met just a bit more worn down and sensible (2dc). I think he'd still pick me, despite knowing what hard work I can be.

Together since 1968.We're now retired and spend nearly all our time together,so yes I'd still have him in a flash.

Yes, with a 'But'

I changed, he didn't. He still wants to live the life we had before, he still puts himself first in a lot of ways. I put DD first. I put up with a lot because I think I/we have a lot to lose. If I met him now, knowing what I know now, I wouldn't have let it get to this stage.

I love him an awful lot, but at times I resent him an awful lot too. I fell into the 'you can change him' trap. Well no, I couldn't.

I still fancy the pants off him. I still have days when I burst with love for him. But I wish he would understand how I feel.

Probably not. Because when I met DH I was in a really bad place with relationships - had come through some real traumatic, high drama relationship situations and some messy rebound type things and had absolutely sworn off men. DH wasn't my type at all, although my "type" clearly wasn't working out for me.

Had I met him at any other time I think i would have dismissed him as too "normal", too "boring".

Turns out that somewhat serious, reliable, rock solid dependable "boring" man with a hole in his trainer and a bit of sandwich hanging out of his sleeping mouth who (at the time) lived hundreds of miles away from me was the best thing that ever happened to me and we've been married five years with two DC.

I'm so glad i got the chance!

Sometimes (and you all have permission to at this) I wake up and he's asleep and the sun's on his face and I think how the hell did I managed to land this guy?? Daft thing is he thinks he's the lucky one

Yes, without a moments hesitation.

He has changed a lot over the last 8 years but all for the better, when we met he was very shy and lacked confidence/ambition, he has really grown and matured (he was a single 28yr old who was being pampered by his mum when we met), he has also got even more attractive as he has grown up and into himself.

He is an amazing husband and father to our girls and I can't imagine life without him.

Don't get me wrong, he can be as annoying as the next man with his inability to see household chores that need doing/creating extra mess but if they are the only faults I can find I don't think I'm doing too badly - although I do still moan at him about it :-)

Ha ha ha ha ha
I'll presume this is a joke

Well, it took me nearly 3 years to go out with him after meeting him in the first place (and those 3 years included us living together as house mates at university so I saw him a LOT). I think if I met him again today I would need some time to decide whether I wanted to date him.

coconutty! Love knows no bounds.