The Brave Babes Battle Bus - On Their Way To............... Amarillo?

[Mouseface]

.............. sorry, ran out of ideas tonight!

Hello, tis me, Mouse and I have a very abusive relationship with alcohol, vodka in particular.

Welcome to the Battle Bus, full of totally Brave Babes all on their own personal journey to sobriety. Some are there, some are still on their way and some aren't quite ready yet but stay on the Bus for a good old natter

Wherever you are in your quest to get back control of your drinking, we've all been there too so you're not alone, not by a long shot.

Come take a seat and say hello.

If you'd like to know the history behind this amazing journey, you can follow the links back HERE

See you soon x

Thanks Silly.

Yes Mouse 7lbs is bloody brilliant!! Hope your pain is better today. How are you feeling?

Right I'm off to do something vaguely useful.

Im lost. Cant keep up. Im sorry.

Just checking in and have read pages and pages.

Ginger you are doing just brilliant. Im really pleased for you and you sound so much stronger than before reading the book. Im happy.

Spider - youve done it now. Youve got some of the really crap stuff currently going on because you drink too much OUT THERE as in OUT HERE. And that is fundamental. You cant begin sobriety until you get to the starting line and you are now officially at the starting line. Keep posting. Keep talking. We care.
I want to say that what you are doing isnt ok. It isnt good enough and you have to stop drinking. I know thats bossy. And I bed you not to get angry with me and say how fucking dare you tell me what to do. I say it with love and kindness. You cannot let your DCs open the front door and be woken up by strangers.... Worry worry worry. I know you know all this. But sometimes. Just hopefully sometimes. It needs to be said out loud to get through the fug. I really dont want to upset you.

Proud - thats how I feel. Fundamentally different. I feel different. Still have a healthy fear of the dreaded booze but different in a positive and stronger sense.

I went out (its very rare I go out) and drank some (not too much) wine with the girlfriends in a pub. Had a wonderful evening. Came home and have woken up happy and not hungover. I am over the moon. THIS is thanks to the Bus. So I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. The last time I went out with the same group I was so hungover it ruined my weekend.

Mia LOVE the dog in a bag. LOVED EVEN MORE your mad doggy barking at itself. They are funny. I love dogs v. jealous.

Right. I have to look after the kids. DH getting humpy Im on here instead of helping out.

venlafaxine did the same to me - and likewise the doc (who i don't see anymore) just kept doubling it. i ended up in thailand made me very manic in the end. horrible stuff.

i don't think there's any need for anyone to not post - unless they are unable to cope with other people having views and feelings too there's really no need. i'm not going to be silenced by emotional blackmail though tbh. i don't think i said anything offensive just pointed out that all the normalising talk of drink and drugs was hard for me to read and it's a fine line we tread on here.

i am willing to stand corrected though if people find me offensive.

faire - yes it may have to be one of my don't want to do but do it anyway tasks of the day. bloody dog!

SAF. I agree.

Always shocked by talk of drugs etc.

x
I know there is so much more to say. But this thread is ON FIIRE at the moment so apologies for not saying enough or more.

The person who posted about her friend loosing residency of her child. Chord/struck. I was grateful for her sharing and wanted to say what a wondeful friend you are for caring and supporting your friend though what can only be described as hell and back.

Mouse thanks for looking after us and thread. 7lbs. Thats half a stone. Brilliant. (((()))) just because. x

Right. I really am off.
x

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Saf - I have been nodding my head at everything you've said since last night and totally agree with you. As I was reading I was thinking exactly the same.

I know that when someone says I'm a bit sick of seeing the same old same old on here or words to that affect, feathers get ruffled, or fur get's stroked in the wrong direction!

I understand what Scoundrel meant, I used to feel the same to some extent, as in 'why on earth are we/me doing this to ourselves day in day out?'

Why do we keep punishing ourselves, getting to 2, 3, 4 + days and then getting pissed all over again, throwing away all of the hard work we'd achieved in the days before?

I also understand how the remarks that Scoundrel made could read as 'having a go' because as most of you have said, this is our safe place.

Somewhere we can come and not be judged. I don't think that Scoundrel was 'judging' as such, just voicing an opinion. Or at least that's what I hope.

We all have different personalities, things that upset some, won't bother others, we're all different people.......

I too hope that you're okay Scoundrel, I know that our last exchange over noteven was ahem, a little heated shall we say, but I'd like to see you posting again, the same as any other Babes who aren't around any longer.

This Bus is for EVERYONE and it always has been. That's what makes it so great. There are no rules, you don't need to update your CV to get a seat!

Just find a spot and park your bottom. It really has been a huge source of support for so many people, including myself. On more than one occasion, this Bus has stopped me from drinking or drinking more than I want to.

I love this place. I need this Bus to let out things that I don't necessarily want to share with anyone in RL IYSWIM?

This Bus, although only a virtual Bus in the grand scheme of things, is a big part of my life. You all know me, you all know about Nemo and his day to day battle to keep moving forward in all that he does.

I want to share that with you, I want to be able to share my down days, my up days, my days, days and I hope that all of you feel that you can be as honest on here as you like.

Someone on MN once said to me 'only give emotionally what you can afford to' and I really do understand why they said that to me. I'd gotten really upset and spent hours on here (another thread) pouring my heart, trying desperately to help a poster in an awful position, out only to have it trampled on.

That experience hit me really hard. I felt that I'd been used and taken as a mug because I'd tried to help them.

Now I try to help myself as much as others, but don't get too wrapped up in the emotional side of it, try to distance myself from the situation.

I think what I'm trying to say (badly!!!) is to only give as much as you can afford to, without draining yourself and compromising your own sobriety.

You have to be selfish at times and just take care of YOU.

Right, off for a shower, stick the laundry and dishwasher on and then get my hair cut. I'm sorry that I've not named everyone, I'll go back and catch up later. It's so great to see that the thread is in 'Active Convos', I believe we'll get even more new Babes joining us

Sorry for epic waffling, I hope I've not upset anyone by saying what I have.

venlafaxine did the same to me - and likewise the doc (who i don't see anymore) just kept doubling it. i ended up in thailand made me very manic in the end. horrible stuff.

I'd just taken a big mouthful of sausage roll and when I read 'I ended up in Thailand' I laughed so much that it went down the wrong way and I choked.

That beats mine - I ended up sitting on a beach in Pembrokeshire at midnight on NYE 2001, while everyone I was on holiday with was celebrating in the pub, huddled in my anorak beside 3ft high letters in the sand saying HELP ME. I'm not sure who I was hoping would come - aliens possibly? I just wanted to walk into the sea that night and keep going, such was the disconnect between me and all the happy celebrating people. Six months later I was pregnant.

Still, getting pregnant probably saved my life actually, and I wouldn't change a thing.

Mia - thank you for the congrats on the weight I always lose a lot in the first 2 weeks. It's keeping it off that's the hard part.

I'm not great today, the pain in my right hip has knocked me sick this morning. My worry is that the GP had nothing else to offer in terms of pay relief. He actually said he's run out of meds that can help so will just keep upping my morphine.

What worries me is when I come off it, I need to be super careful not to trigger a withdrawal. I know that I'll be closely monitored but still, it's not going to be pleasant.

Blanket - fab to see you back posting again lovely. The person who posted about her friend loosing residency of her child. Chord/struck. I was grateful for her sharing and wanted to say what a wondeful friend you are for caring and supporting your friend though what can only be described as hell and back

That made me think of noteven and the reasons I got upset about it. I had a very close friend go through something similar, and it really struck a cord again with me this morning. Look at just how much alcohol can ruin your life.

I hope with all of my heart that she gets sober and STAYS sober.

Right, I really am going now. Back later, have lovely days all xx

Lovely post Mouse. You are a beautiful person - it shines through in every word you write. x

Cross posted again.
Have a great day Mouse

mia - i had a really good time for a while - fantastic affairs with a serbian doctor running a clinic on koh tao, then there was a gorgeous french guy who was there training in thai boxing on koh samui, had lots of interesting adventures and ended up overstaying my visa and having to pay fines and stuff was very messy and there was a hell of a crash down in mood at the other end. won't be doing that again!

bless you on the beach! so know that feeling of disconnect - it's an awful place to be. like you getting pregnant probably saved my life. god know where (literally) i'd be if i hadn't had my son.

well done to you and mouse on your weight loss - i haven't managed to get on top of my eating yet but never mind - dealing with the drinking comes first for me now and if the cost is a podgy summer i'm just going to have to deal with that... somehow!

Mine was somewhat of a less exotic meltdown on venlafaxine. I was on the highest licensed dose, and doing pretty well - till I had a bad asthma attack, and they put me on a high dose of steroid tablets - I went completely potty - manic etc - I became convinced the fridge was sending me messages from my neighbours, so thought self medicating with some vodka might help...

I ended up in a police station at midnight, still in my jim-jams, waving a piece of the refrigerator at the bemused desk sergeant and ranting "would you sort this fucking talking fridge out - cos I can't!

Even now, when I have to take steroids, I still regard the fridge with suspicion..

Matt Cardle hey? What can I say Pround, I like what I like

You would be amazed at what's on my ipod. From Meatloaf to The Osmonds. And all sorts inbetween.

meatloaf man makes me feel queasy.

that sounds scarey pix!

i'm off to softplay this afternoon and meeting up with another mn'er and her children - quite brave for me

i'm super irritable but with a sense of humour today - so shriek then laugh then shriek again. ds is in hyper mad mode and has stripped to his pants and is flying up and down the kitchen and hall on his scooter. softplay is probably the safest place for us today.

pix that really made me laugh too as did your drunk elf story - the image of you in your pjs waving a piece of fridge at the policeman. Do I just have a very inappropriate sense of humour?

Frankly if I didn't laugh at things, I'd have no saving graces at all. I think it's only my sense of humour that saves me from being just the sum of my flaws, neuroses and endless ailments.

Maybe we could start our own thread... 'impulsive and inappropriate things that venlafaxine made me do'. As least you've got some interesting experiences to look back on there saf.

Nah! It is funny looking back :o

And by 'laugh at things' I mainly mean 'laugh at myself'.

Good afternoon Babes.

That sounds terrifying pix. My XH went through a phase of thinking the FBI were hunting him down. Horrid stuff.

I've been into town and bought baby clothes for my friend's new baby - so much fun! I'm sober and doing okay on the new anti-depressants.

The weather is utterly crap and grey so I'm going to do something productive this afternoon to cheer me up. :) Off out for supper with MIL and DH tonight, MIL does not drink so I won't be too tempted. DH has been very supportive the last couple of nights and I'm really grateful.

Love to all, back later xxx

mia your cocker is adorable. I've added a photo of my dog to my profile.

Hang on a minute, you cut the dose of the ADs? Well, that might explain a bit! I don't think you need to be kicking yourself for being grumpy this week, your body is obviously struggling!

First, apologies if I'm out of line here.

After last night, and what scoundrel said, I noticed what seemed to be a lot of new people on the board. I'm struggling to remember everyones names! And the conversations seemed... different.

It made me wonder if it would be helpful to split the board? say, into 'Cutting downers' and 'Cutting outers'. People could still post in both, if they wanted or found it constructive. Inspiration from both sides, as it were.

But this board moves so fast it only started yesterday, and is already over 100 posts. I find it hard to keep up, last night I didn't recognise anybody, and as scoundrel said sometimes the chats don't feel right. Sof if people prefer, they could only visit one board.

I dunno, I've only been here a couple of weeks and obviously some of you have been around much longer, who're happy with the way it is. But maybe the board is attracting so many people now?

The Bus and The Sidecar ?

bloody hell, here you all are!
I've been running after this bus yelling for it to stop to let me back on!
Wow, who are all these new Babes and what have I missed?

I think people just take what they need from the bus and give what they can.

The trouble with splitting it is that so many babes are aiming to stop completely but not quite there yet. And those that are trying to stop get their motivation and inspirtation from those that have already stopped. So they need to be together.

I am drinking moderately according to a plan I have set myself. These days I am drinking about once every two to three weeks and I only have two or three glasses of wine. The rest of the time I am like everyone else on the bus, not drinking, one day at a time.

I don't post if I'm drinking. I personally don't think it's helpful to those who are trying to avoid. Lots of babes do the same - they don't post at the time but may post the next day that they had x amount to drink and how they feel about it. This seems to work ok.

Sometimes people post when they have been drinking heavily or are still drinking and their post is a call for help. Sometimes it's the only time they feel able to be really honest about their fears and that's ok, of course.

Now and again there is a difference of opinion on the bus and that's fine too. We can't all expect to agree all the time but I think we can rub along together ok .

That's my opinion joey, since you asked .

I don't know the answer, Aliasjoey, I've been on here for only 2 days, so feel like a 'new girl', but what has really inspired me is the range and depth of coping strategies. I think to arbitrarily separate downers from outers would mean many people, including myself, who are as yet undecided which is the right path for them, would miss out on the wonderful perspectives that are shared on here. I think it would be worse having to jump from thread to thread, actually. Is there a way to tag people on here, in a similar way to Facebook?

Ma the bus has been rattling along, not sure who's in the driving seat at the mo', Silver chucked the keys to Isinde but she was last seen wandering off muttering to herself

Cripes, it's all getting a bit Lord of the Flies on here!

My view, for what it's worth, is that there have always been wobbles, oddness and the odd altercation on this thread (you may think I'm a newbie but I've been following this thread every day for two years, just didn't post). That's ok.

I dip in when I want inspiration or a vent.

I think it would be a huge mistake to splinter the thread (though interesting idea alias). Mainly, for me, because I take great inspiration from those who abstain completely. Because until I saw that drinkers could do that - I mean 'real' people, people 'like me' rather than statistics or case studies - I didn't think it was possible! Now I know I can stop completely and the world won't end - and that is a possibility for me.

For now, like Fairenuff, I've cut down a lot and feel confident and positive that's the way forward for me.

ma so good to see you!

Alias I've been thinking since Scoundrel's post too.

Faire makes good points above. My drinking posts have been when I've been at my most desperate. A couple of times I've posted in the small hours because it's a safe place to vent, and the Babes have looked after me in the sidecar the next day.

I have veered from moderating my intake to stopping and back round again. I realise that, whatever the future holds, that I need to stop for now. Like Carrie I appreciate that everyone has different coping strategies - some use AA, some use books, others just use this place. I know it moves fast but I'd hate to split it.