Which is partly why he's obsessed with porn. Apparently its his relief.
We moved to a bigger house with a mortgage a couple of years ago. Since then the bills have increased and I know it puts extra pressure on him as the only earner. We're not badly off, we can afford the nice house and for me to stay at home. But apparently I spend too much money and don't help out at the weekends enough leaving him to see to the dc's a bit more.
Now to me, this sudden accusation - and it is sudden - has come about in the same week that I have been furious with him for yet more porn after we'd already had words about how it makes me feel. Quite frankly I'm a bit sceptical but apparently there's more that will 'come out' when he's ready to discuss it. I don't know what he means.
I have been laying in at the weekend. It's the only bit of peace I get. I do everything around the house, I am the stereotypical housewife. I actually wondered if I had been suffering from depression; odd sleeping patterns, eating more, bouts of sadness and bursting into tears, really not being arsed somedays to do anything. Then I think perhaps I'm just in need of going back to work or something, a change of life. Fucked if I'm gonna discuss it with him now.
He says he's not sure if he loves me anymore and he doesn't know what will happen. Is the onus on me to buck my ideas up and be the perfect wife? Should I turn into a doormat like his mum? I don't think I ask that much, I don't drink or smoke or go out much. I know I've put on weight in the last few years and he probably doesn't fancy me anymore but to say he doesn't love me is heartbreaking. I hate his porn habit but if he would just try and sort it out I would be prepared to support him.
Can anyone make sense of where the fuck my life is going because I can't and I could seriously do with a kick up the back side. I love him to bits and just wish I knew what was going on.