The Dating Thread - Part 12. How NOT to lose the will to live. Sense of humour essential!

[TimeForMeAndDD]

Good morning everyone! Had to start a new thread as the old one is no longer receiving posts.

Fill yer boots!

Time, I can beat you every time. He's a hunk of a man compared to some of those I attract. One big bald headed man merges into the other. My inbox is a sea of overweight bald headed, 50 a day men. I'm no model, but I'm a reasonably pretty, well proportioned, professional woman. Where are all the decent looking men?

Time I just looked at your potato who does indeed look like a potato . Have decided to look at PoF again and see if there are any fish that are slightly presentable on there....

bucketbetty I am wondering if there is a reason why some of the men on dating websites are there - there are a lot of bald headed overweight men aren't there?

All the decent looking men are married, and morphing into mingers in preparation for divorce and POF.

Ahem

Miranda, yes there are but why are they all after me. All I ask is just one decent looking man who isn't bald, overweight, looks like they're knocking heaven's door due to their unhealthy ways to say hi to me. I understand I'm probably offending all the bald, fat men but I don't really care.

Time - just add to that getting a message from Mr Potato who says on his profile 'if I look at you and don't message you, it's probably because I think you are far too good for me'

And then he messages me

Hiding, that's hilarious

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry tbh. I'm no supermodel but I'm reasonably attractive & intelligent (aren't I Poppa :-D)

My potato on okc is phil193 (sorry, too depressed to link) going to spend my day eating a lot of bacon sandwiches and heavily editing my okc profile. PM in rehearsals today and an audition tonight, so i can legitimately text a leg break.

hiding I am laughing out loud at that!! That's ace! Although I'm sorry it happened to you of course

Bucketbetty Maybe you have a sympathetic and understanding face? That's why I think they message me anyway

I can't look at your potato Snape cos I'm not registered with Cupid. I do like the sound of your day though, bacon sandwiches beat men hands down!

Hi hiding. I'm overweight and have decided to go with shorter hair 'cos I've been told by a few old spudettes that it's a better look for we old spuds. I'm on the dating sites 'cos maybe there is someone who sees a bit of potential and is prepared to take the risk.

Have I seen your pic? I've seen several OKC profiles and some people have public MN profiles with pics. Have I seen you?

poppa there are some very good nice men out there in my age group, 18 to 25 with very fit muscular, gropeable bodies nice personalities.

Hi Poppa - we had a chat on Okc after I peeked at your profile. I decided I'd better stop lurking after that I'm the redhead.

My mumsnet profile is sparse, and this is a new nickname as my dd (16) knows my old one. We have a great relationship but there's some things I don't share . I've been here off & on since a few months after it started - where did the time go!

sorry about all the short potatoes. it is depressing. i had the squished face one. urgh.

sponge - sounds like the party went really well, huge well done. and the cheek of barbour. i feel pissed off for you!

snape - :( i was feeling like that not so many days agio, its poo. im osrry.

so. now im not drunk i shall fill in the details.

You know when you meet someone and you instantly know you need to have sex with them - well, yeah, it was that. Without a doubt, in both directions, and your sitting there trying to hold some kind of conversation and you both know that your thinking obsence thoughts... He is very good looking ,sort of like a dark haired, stubbly. more manly will young. I need to have sex with this man and im kicking myself for not doing so last night. He has messaged me this morning already... and i think we are both on the same page.
But - i should probably not date this man, he has a long distance girlfriend, says he.. who hes not seen since christmas and that he wants anoher girlfreind before he dumps her, on the premisis that something is better than nothing. I told him he was avery bad person and he agrred and then laughed. But said that drinks with a girl was not cheating. which i supose it isnt. anyway, so theres that.
The blank profile and weird messages were because, his mates have all done online dating and have got nowhere. his sister has and has got nowhere. He thought he could do better and could get a date with no pic of profile., he didnt manage it with no pic, but i fell for the no profile thing. He says it all bullshit anyway and i restored his faith in humanity for people meeting and talking, like they should do rather than sit tapping away on a pc or rejecting people because they have the wrong colour hair or are the wrong height. I told him that was true, but he was a shit witha big ego.
so - thats that, we laughed a lot, flirted alot, and he was totally poiliet and paid for all my drinks and spent a lot of time telling me how amazing it was that i was on a date with im and how perfect i was. my ego liked that.

Snapes bacon sandwiches sound good

Watch he sounds like the sort of person you should have sex with but absolutely not get emotionally involved with! Ideal fb though

yes, thats what i thought too. Or at least i wouldnt be able to judge anything else until after having sex with him.

i am honestly kicking myself for not doing so last night.

Ok, I have now officially lost the will to live. Okc profile 'You should message me if...' his answer 'you admire me' wtaf

Hiding! Yes! You are quite gorgeous... you definitely need to aim higher than a potato, unless of course you want to sample an Australian potato in which case - "I'm free!"
:)

Regretfully, I agree with hiding, shag but don't date. Such a shame. Mind you, he was doing well until I read that he looks like more manly Will Young. Will Young?? He sounds a bit of a shit actually watch, he is cheating on his GF by advertising himself on POF, he is actively looking for another girlfriend before he dumps the one he already has. BUT, at least he was honest about it all, AND he paid for all your drinks. So, he can't be ALL bad. Tosser

watch - it may be better if you are not quite so hammered slightly tipsy when you do. That way we can all have a full and informed discussion on whether he was worth it or not

Anyway, sometimes the wait just ups the anticipation factor........

watch actually, I quite like him. I like his honesty and frankness. I could cope with that, if I wasn't looking for relationship material

Agree with Time that he sounds a bit of a shit though. Definitely a shag not a date, leopard and spots and all that.

Aaaw, thanks Poppa. And you're no potato, plus, I bet you've got the best 'friends list' on OKC with half of mumsnet on it

at manly Will Young. Does sound like a great evening though.

Guess it's that monkey/branch thing again - bloody men!

I feel in an oddly combative mood today, I am utterly fed up with men, lack of dates, lack of relationship etc, but not in a :( way more in a 'how dare men not be queuing up to date me, I'm wonderful' etc!