Welcome to the Turning Tavern II: Now in 3D

[Gay40]

Welcome!

if she was a different type*

I agree. I think the WIQ really isn't interested in Polly and she needs to move on. And tbh lets say Polly did manage to turn her, I can't see a relationshp with someone who was never that keen in the first place, being that good a one.

I have a lesbian friend who has just been dumped by a woman who is in her 50's and who had never been with a woman before - call her Amy. Amy had been dumped by her long term bf who she had wanted to marry. She didn't seem that keen on my friend in that way, but they got on well and my friend pursued her.

5 years later Amy has dumped her saying she isn't gay, she never loved her in that way and really just enjoyed her friendship. My friend is devastated. Amy never seemed into her in a sexual way, but I think she was flattered by the attention and did enjoy the close friendship and cuddles side. But it wasn't a good relationship as ultimately Amy never really wanted to have a sexual relationship, although she did.

I think it is different if a WIQ just hasn't plucked up courage to admit her feelings. And I know I am new to this thread. But I don't see anything here that shows that Polly's WIQ is interested in any more than a bit of attention or friendship or finds it flattering. And i really think Polly needs to decide if she wants to find another WIQ, rather than continually agonising over this one.

Oh heck!

For some people it is about the person but they never really get their heads round the sexual side. I have a friend who was mostly straight and dated men but preferred women emotionally and then started dating women. That was fine, but for whatever reason she just didn't enjoy sex with women (she tried several !!!!). I guess her ideal person would be a woman's mind in a man's body.
Now she's back to men.

Well, that's me roundly told then.....

Sorry Polly

I still love you Bolls

Glad someone does sleep

Hope you have a fab time tonight x

Polly - You know I could be wrong, after all I don't actually know your WIQ. But would you consider looking for another WIQ?

zombie I'm not looking for anyone else, I wasn't looking when I met WIQ. It was - like sleep described it when she met her WIQ - like someone slapped me in the face. Wasn't looking for it and wasn't expecting it. I haven't had a relationship with a woman in a while, my last relationship was with a man (my dcs Dad) and I'm generally too busy with them and life to be looking for a relationship.

I don't know who's wrong or right, I just know the whole thing is doing my head in

thank you for admitting that polly! that's EXACTLY my point - if the situation is not happy and doing your head in, it's NOT WORTH it! I think I just feel what you feel more than Gay40 and Loveis, as I'm sort of in the same shoues, and it's exactly out of caring for you that I'm trying to explain that you should leave it - whenther it;s a man or a woman you deserve a lt better than this disinterest/luke-warm interest. So enoughh of thta 'glad somebody dioes' (love you), the lod gurad of these thread aer all fond of you and we came to care for each other. But the fact that you were with women before givs you more choice if you do meet someone else. I've been even more 'slapped in the face' by my feelings as i never considred women so in a way I'm more stuck on mine, but you can have a broader view!

zombie, I could also be wrong as we are on same page, but the chsnces of that are miniscule and not worth hoping based on that - if wiq did secretly start feeling something she can always approach polly, p doesn't need to do anything any more, unless she wants a direct talk.
I was interested to read your story - when i fell for my wiq this bothered me too (whether the sexual side would work for me) , the difference is I wouldn't stay in r-ship fir that long if i didn't enjoy it (or wiq didn't), but I'd definitely try and see first (and give it a bit of time) vefore deciding whether to get into official r-ship. I'm quite optimstic on that though, as I got bored with men sexually it's like same old record - been not misssing it for a while now! but the more i think about wiq, the more i'm getting my head round the idea. Generally though I'm much more after love now. WIQ is a rare person who i genuinely want to give to, not to be selfish.

*the old guard of these threads

I am so tired today, I could do with an early night never mind a night out

I have a dress! And heels bet you a fiver I fall on my arse

I need to wash my hair and dry it and de-frizz it fat chance and wiq wants to do my make up.

Bolls, in my opinion not that you asked for it if you feel there is something there, then there is something there. You know, as we all do, when someone isn't interested or indeed is interested, there is just a 'vibe' your instincts will tell you what you should be doing so trust them we can all give our opinions and speculate as my much as we like but it's so hard to put across emotion in a post or to explain tone of voice. Or explain a look or a moment to everyone so none of us can really know. Iyswim

sleep is it a big night out? thought it was a party at wiq's. Try to have a nap! my hair's gone mad too because of swet weather (argh!)
I agree with what you say about vibes sleep, but to be fair your wiq was extremely generous with vibes, it's nothing like polly's wiq or mine (even though I think mine has overtaken p's wiq now). Not everyone is good at instincts - aer there not enough stories of women stuck and in love with men who don't love them (at least for a hwile)? if everyone had right on instincts then there would not be bad relationships ot heartache. That's why people do ask opinions of those who know about situation. I think I'm very perceptive (been told in RL a lot - quite a few times predicted situations) and I don't need to see every look from polly's wiq to get the geel of her iykwim. I can almost see themn in front of me sitting head to head in that pub etc.

also she may feel it's something there from her side, so that's confusing as it makes you hope the other feels the same. Until you asked your wiq, even yo uwren't sure it's mutual, even with her very obvious liking you. So te only real option is also to be open with wiq by polly if indeed she feels wiq is attracted. If she is - nothing to lose! if not, it will nevr change at this stage.

The trouble is Likea, and this is the bit that that troubles me, is that I've got several close female (straight) friends that I've been curled up in a conrner of a pub with and sunk a few drinks. Never had the feeling that any of them were going to snog me. Despite me not expecting it at all there were several times last Sat night when I felt sure that if I'd leant in just a bit closer she would've kissed me She was sober and I was only gently mellowed so I wasn't veiwing it through my gin goggles . And that's what's put the cat amongst the pigeons, because I've never felt that from a female friend in similar circs before.

The only other time i got a vibe like that from a woman, we ended up going out for 6 months.

well, as I say, it you really FELT she was attracted, then be more open with her. We did suggest also an option of getting her to drink withyou just once, and things then will be clear. The point is, if she IS attracted you won't lose anything by being more open. But do not waste months of hoping and wondering. Sometimes it's deceptive as maybe you wanted her to kiss you - and didn't with female friends so you projected it, but if you ar sure it was vibes from her, then talk, nothing to lose for both of you!

Well why don't you just ask her so you know?

on*

zombie we do think alike !

Agree with likea. It really wouldn't be good if a year from now you were still feeling and wondering the same things and nothing had changed. You had already said to her once, so just say it again maybe?

Yes we do likea

write her an email in a calm grown up way, if talking is too much.