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Original poster

drunken mates RANT!

139 replies

Rubygloom · 16/04/2012 07:42

When i woke this morn my dp said 'oh my mate so n so is downstairs'.Then we go downstairs and i realise as my dp made quite a few cups of tea there was more than one mate.Am i right in being totally fucking pissed off?It's a school day ffs.It's bad enough he drinks.I feel like i am living with a teenager he is 46 ffs

OP posts:
lolaflores · 16/04/2012 14:49

Have you told him yet you were angry with him about the house being invaded more or less?

Original poster
Rubygloom · 16/04/2012 14:55

Oh yes.Im just getting the usual shut up under his breath like its ok

OP posts:
lolaflores · 16/04/2012 15:05

Mmmm. How adult

PurplePidjin · 16/04/2012 15:13

What a twat. Fwiw, my dp is a similar age (marginally smaller age gap, been together less time) and doesn't behave anything like that. It's got fuck all to do with age, and everything to do with maturity Wink

ImperialBlether · 16/04/2012 15:44

Does he have a job?

doihavetonamechange · 16/04/2012 15:56

purple, I think the age gap gets less important with age tbh, I think 18 and 38 - one is still very much a child, the other an adult, whereas, 30 and 50, both are adult.

That doesnt make much sense in writing does it, it just does in my head!

PurplePidjin · 16/04/2012 16:22

30 and 47 Wink

But yes, that makes sense to me. By the time I met dp I'd ditched several crap men, lived on my own, blah blah blah. If I'd stuck with the one I was with at 18 I'd be screwed by now he's a useless fuckwit there's absolutely no way any one could have convinced me of that at the time fuck me but they tried

OP, you're not the only one and you're clearly strong enough to admit you made a mistake.

lolaflores · 16/04/2012 16:28

I think meeting someone that much older when you are 18 is not a level field. would anyone like to tell me why he was going out with an 18 year old? He saw someone that would be pitifully grateful to the big man in the house.
I think that tune has changed and he is not going to like it much. There is 9 years between me and DH. we have grown together not grown up if you see what I mean? Do you? Do I?

I also want to know if he has a job?

MissFaversham · 16/04/2012 16:30

The man's an arse OP. I'd be bloody livid, and on a Sunday night too! Is he a boozer?

Original poster
Rubygloom · 16/04/2012 19:43

Sorry i dissapeard whingy kids and I've been moaning to my network about a fb ad flashing on my screen argh!It's not even fb........Yes he did work for years.I can't say why cos it would out me but his got something wrong with him which is quite rare so i av to literally run around around after him

OP posts:
PurplePidjin · 16/04/2012 19:48

Stop. Now. You are not a slave! If he's well enough to pull all night benders, he's well enough to pull his weight Angry

Original poster
Rubygloom · 16/04/2012 19:48

I text my sis saying i feel like a slave.I know it sounds mean as he has been in really bad pain.But why should i care for him when his horrible to me

OP posts:
doihavetonamechange · 16/04/2012 19:48

Sorry but there can't be enough wrong with him for you to have to run around after him all the time if he can go on the piss all night and eat kebabs.

He is playing you - he may be ill - I don't doubt it - but well enough to drink and eat crap - is well enough to do housework and other things.

Plus his lifestyle will be aggravating his ill health.

Original poster
Rubygloom · 16/04/2012 19:53

His got rare thing wrong and something else thats part of that.He does suffer really badly with it.Which i have told him that going to the pub can't be helping.

OP posts:
doihavetonamechange · 16/04/2012 19:57

It can't be helping no - but he doesn't have to worry about that does he - because he has you to deal with everything for you.

Kebabs, drink - they do not mix well with chronic pain - plus there is the depressive come down after binge drinking to contend with.

If he can booze, pub it, stay out all night, eat shite - he can help you, if he is too ill to help you and deal with his own washing etc - he is too ill for all the socialising he does.

You are enabling him by accepting his behaviour and doing everything for him - because you have grown up with this.

squeakytoy · 16/04/2012 19:58

which is quite rare so i av to literally run around around after him

I reckon he is taking the piss and putting it on to be quite honest, because he certainly seems capable of going out on his own whenever he feels like it.

You and your kids deserve much better than this you know.

How much did you know about his past when you met him? Has he been married before? got kids from other relationships?

Sadly with men like this, there is usually a pattern of them being a useless waste of space, and they would groom a young girl because she is unlikely to be worldy wise and experienced enough to realise that the bloke is an utter waste of space, and can easily be charmed to fall for him.

doihavetonamechange · 16/04/2012 19:58

*everything for him.

Original poster
Rubygloom · 16/04/2012 20:05

Yep he has to both questions.Hes kids lived with him until they flew the nest

OP posts:
Original poster
Rubygloom · 16/04/2012 20:12

I think they actually had a good relationship tbh as he literally gave his life to her.From what i know she cheated and he stayed with her

OP posts:
Original poster
Rubygloom · 16/04/2012 20:15

Apparently he was heartbroken when she cheated and confided in a friend.Who fancies me Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
Rubygloom · 16/04/2012 20:20

Thanks for listening and not judging me btw

OP posts:
PurplePidjin · 16/04/2012 20:24

What evidence, apart from out of his gob, do you have for any of this?

His kids must be older than you Shock

Original poster
Rubygloom · 16/04/2012 20:25

Well actually quite a few of his friends fancies me.At least i know i've still got it big head emotion Wink

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 16/04/2012 20:27

Not judging you at all... most of us have made mistakes, particularly when we were younger.

What you have got to think about is, this man already leads you a merry dance, but 20 years down the line, you will have given up the best years of your life running around after him, being taken for granted. You will be nearly 50 yourself then, and he will be an old man. No matter what the age difference, a relationship should be based on mutual respect, mutual love, and enjoying being with each other, treating each other with kindness and sharing a life together... not a situation where one person does all the graft, while the other does as they please.

squeakytoy · 16/04/2012 20:30

Please please dont let any of his mates turn your head.. they are all likely to be the same sort of person that he is. Letting your friends partner know that you fancy them is not nice behaviour and they should keep their feelings hidden, that is what friends do for other friends, not openly flirt with their mates wife/partner. Fine if they fancy you from afar, but whatever you do, dont make the mistake of falling for one of his mates..

I am not putting you down, but it would be a huge huge error of judgement to let your guard down with any of his "mates".