nothing can drag you down when you're not holding on...

[chocoraisin]

Hello :)

I've decided that blog or no blog, I can't imagine not having all of you fabulous people to turn to in the next couple of months while I count down to baby arriving. So I've jumped ship from the old thread and decided to set up camp here.

would anyone like a ?

Oh and OW can sod off for a start!!

tell him to fuck the fuck off and when he gets there to fuck off some more!

Fuck me what a twunting twunter twunt... for you and your beautiful DS's

And that bloody twunt "female" who breaks up a family thinks she can just step in and what.....step mother a NEWBORN BABY?? Un-fucking-believable. Its like they live on another planet!!! They clearly have no idea what they've done and the enourmous consequences of their sick affair. I am literally gob smacked at the naiveity. Its shockingly callous.

Can you just say from now on you don't talk about the contact with DS2 as its too stressful to hear his ridiculousness and your pregnancy with bean is from now on to be handled with gentle and caring fluffy clouds of loveliness? DS2 contact should only be talked about once your established lovely...the twunters can wait...please don't burden their stupidity on you...forget them, look after you!!!

No no no no no......Oh Choco....... what a yucky weekend.... :( sending hugs and love from the 3 of us xxxxxx

thank you xx

I actually had a nice time with my friends when they came over in the end we took the kids to a park and enjoyed the sunshine. Helps that I had a little sob down the phone to a friend from 'home' where I used to live. I think I really needed a bloody good cry.

Unfortunately my fall on Sunday has ruined my hips, and I'm hobbling around in agony a lot of the time :( bloody bloody SPD. Thankfully I have a DS-free morning as he's at nursery, so today I'm doing the jobs list... sorting out maternity notes for my 2hour appointment this afternoon (I think it's to confirm my c-section, fingers x'd) and updating the contact diary (eurgh) etc. Should probably strip beds and hoover too but as I can't get off the sofa right now, we may have to fester on for a day or two!

I've dealt with the twuntish request by just saying this is not relevant now, and not to be raised before the next contact review (sept). Still makes me feel incredibly sad and stressed :( but I'm just going to have to practice letting go and trusting that even if he doesn't respect me, our wider family and friends will protect me from the worst of it. Dad is definitely not going to let him set foot in the house uninvited, and OW would get a flea in her ear if she showed up for sure!

Trying hard to remember that all of this says more about him than it does about me... and what it says about him is unequivocally bad. They have made their bed and now they have to lie in it together. I'm also trying to remember its a very, very good thing I'm not unknowingly in there with them anymore!

Well, all I can say is divorce is miserable.

no choco, divorce doesnt have to be miserable! You are well rid of this person who fathered your children. To play devils advocate - your exbh will have spun this woman a line so far removed from what your marriage was like that she will have no idea what an arse he is. But... she will find out, because men like him and women like her rarely find happiness together.

Once children enter the equation life changes, you have to grow up and put the kiddies first, that is just life.

So you are well rid my lovely.

You and your boys will be happy together and your life will turn a corner and you will think back on this eventually as a harsh life lesson but a valuable one.

thanks Jax :) haha

Its true - I remember when I was first going out with him, he was the 'perfect' partner... attentive, loving, generous, funny, and amazingly into all the same stuff as me. Then reality hit and he became distant, cold, critical, utterly tight-fisted about everything possible, and suddenly I 'made no effort' to get to know him/his interests. (Not surprising, given that he'd pretended he was into the same stuff as me.)

She will eventually get a rude awakening, or become someone so pliant she just fits in with him - and that's something I was never prepared to do. I will focus on building my brilliant life instead for me and the boys - what I CAN control, not what I can't.

Love mumsnet!

choco* you rock! You are a wise woman.

I'm glad you had a nice day in the end! I agree you are as ever rising above those bottom dwellers your ex & ow. I agree with Jax that ex has no doubt given a completely different version of your marriage to ow thus getting her sympathy. My ex told his current GF that I was violent, unfaithful & conceived our DD by trickery without his consent. All lies!

Well done Choco - now, what's that chumbawumba song?

hello lovelies - just stopping by to say hi - I'm still alive (alive-o) but have been feeling dreadful this week. Cumulative effect of exhaustion, being upset and having parvovirus (belly looks like a speckled egg today with a rather fetching rash). I'm doing my best to keep going but feel like being a bed-slug for at least a week.

Still, at least I'm 28weeks (nearly 29) now so baby isn't likely to be affected by the virus, which is a relief. Still have to go off for lots of blood tests and listen to general mutterings about it not being a good thing. This is what happens when you are pg with a toddler, you get viruses! I'm sure it won't be anything serious.

In good news: I have my c-section agreed! Hurrah!

So that's one thing I can relax about. Baby will come by appointment one day in the first week of July, or if I labour early I'll be fast-tracked as an emergency. Feel very relieved about the whole thing. It means I'll have a baby in 10 weeks though, which suddenly seems very, very soon! :)

oh choco parvo - isnt that something that dogs/cats get? how the hell did you get that? you arent cleaning litter trays are you?

Hope you get better soon.

And wow - 10 weeks and a new bambino, scary and exciting at the same time. At least you have a good idea when he will arrive.

No parvovirus is slapped cheek - most toddlers & primary children get it. Not a problem! The cat thing is toxoplasmosis - totally different! Viruses like this in very early pregnancy when the embryo is forming can cause problems & it's not ideal to have them at the point you're giving birth because the baby can get it but the middle bit of pregnancy is the safest time in terms of the baby so don't worry Choco - the baby will be fine. You must be feeling completely wiped out though - it'll like having flu with a horrible rash isn't it? Poor you - get lots of sleep if you can. I'm glad you're getting what you want re the caesarean section.

thanks guys, yes it's slapped cheeks - DS has been running around grumpy as hell with cheeks like a tomato for a week, and to my shame I thought it was just back teeth coming til he got a rash two days ago, and I got a rash yesterday that is. It's a lot like flu, yes. Cold sweats and shivers, and headache/light sensitivity. Yukky all round. Am very glad it's not serious for baby though - thanks for the reassurance midwife!! I've got another set of bloods being taken this afternoon just to check I'm on the mend.

H has been quite nice this week over email and been flexible with contact times so I can take DS to a christening over the weekend, where the kids will have a bouncy castle and stuff so I'm feeling relatively cheerful (all things considered) today. One of my SIL are over tonight for supper so I'll try and have a nice (non-man bashing) evening in with her...

oh you poor things! What bad luck. I'm glad you've got a few nice things planned for this weekend, too. I read something yesterday in Good Housekeeping (someone gave me their old copy on the train. I'm NOT a good housekeeper - as once glance at this desk will attest...) which I thought was awesome.
Joseph Addison wrote "Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."

Which I realised I actually have, and so do you. That must explain your amazing attitude :)

Oh choco I had forgotten how when one is pregnant with a second child the first child obligingly brings home all the child care diseases. It is good that it is in the "blooming" part of your pregnancy.
I am so pleased for you that you have some clarity about the C-Section too. I hope that gives you more sense of control and I am sure there is a part of you fizzing with excitement about meeting DS2.
I am glad H is being nice - that doesn't make me thing he is a nice person but at least he is not being a scum about arrangements.

think

I still don't trust the fucker either!! I hope for your sake he carries on restraining himself for a while though. Wouldn't it be lovely if he got & then passed on parvo to OW?!! A true taste of the reality of parenthood. Failing that a bout of nits would do!!

Ah hope you both feel better soon Choco. Must be a huge relief to have the CS agreed - one less thing to stress about. Have a lovely weekend.

Blackcurrants I love that quote - will be saving it for use in tricky times.

agreed that quote is ace :)

I've spent the whole day in bed... DS is doing great, but I seem to be declining rapidly! The speckled bump has developed into a bloody great measly rash all over me - cheeks to toes - plus a migraine and some weird visual disturbance just to round things off nicely. I've been seen twice by a GP who doesn't think it's anything to worry about but when you look like a cartoon character with the plague, and you're pregnant, it's hard to stay chilled.

Seen H today. The flat has been sold. I should be glad, but it just feels like another horrible nail in the coffin of my old life. Now I have to make a snap decision about whether I want to pay to store what's left of the furniture, or accept a pittance for it to be sold off on ebay as I don't have anywhere to put it. Feel like it's a piss take that the sofa (costing over a grand) is still being paid off, but would only get £200 odd quid to be sold on. But then again, do I really want my new life to be filled up with things I chose with xH? I don't know :(

Been fantasy house hunting on right move from bed, while the pain killers have kept my headache at bay. If anyone would like to play the lottery in my honour this weekend by all means go ahead - promise I'll share the jackpot!

I'd be tempted to sell the furniture, even at a knock down price, as you'll always remember that was the sofa where you (& OW probably) sat with him in that flat, which was the site of so much pain.

Choose your own fabulous furniture when you get your fantasy house - maybe you can get someone else's £1k sofa for £200 and choose some lovely cushions to go on it too.

In the meantime, take care and get an early night with a nice cup of hot choco ;-)

Yeah, I'd be tempted to get rid, too. Not very practical, but then it's not always about being practical, is it?

And actually, maybe it is practical to sell it rather than pay for storing it, pay it off, and then find you have nowhere to put it? Yes! I declare it practical after all!

Get rid. You don't want anything with bad memories. Only good memories from now on!

Choco you need to contact your antenatal unit rather than your gp. Visual disturbences and headaches were my only physical symptoms of pre-eclampsia. I don't wish to worry you but you should ask to have your urine checked asap.

thanks Merrily - I'd wondered myself, I'm keeping a close eye on things. My BP is usually v low though, can be in the 70's! So I went and had it checked yesterday, it's only 85/60 so definitely nothing to worry about there yet :) I'm a bit wary of it though because it is so low as normal, that a 'normal' reading can be exceptionally high for me (120/90 for example) and I had facial/hand/legs swelling with DS before going into labour 2 weeks early. Pics of me with him after he was born I look like a swollen potato head and I lost 2stone in a fortnight, which I swear I just about peed out afterwards lol.

I have decided to get rid on the furniture front. I think it's only going to bring back sad memories. I can actually picture her sitting on that damn sofa in my house watching movies with him, one of the times I came home from a course to find her cosying up and looking after my DS :( GRRRRRRR

I'm glad to report the rash is fading this morning, thank god. I was looking properly rough yesterday! Feeling well enough to do something productive with my free morning (DS out swimming with daddy this morning)... any suggestions?

Choco 120/90 ISN'T a normal BP no matter what you usually are although it sounds ok now. If you continue with visual disturbances & headaches ring your maternity triage straight away for a BP & urine check. Things can change quickly & they might want to do some bloods to make sure you're not developing pre-eclampsia, especially in view of what you said happened last time. Yes I agree re the furniture - why would you want anything OW had been anywhere near?!!

oh... whoops! Spot the non-medic in the room lol thanks midwife!! I'll be a bit more careful from now on then!!

Thanks midwife, I was worrying that I was being a scaremonger but those symptoms really jumped out at me and in my experience gps aren't brilliant with pregnancy related stuff. Look after yourself choco.