Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - BOINGing Into Spring, The Jesus(WhatNext) Way!

999 replies

Mouseface · 02/04/2012 20:43

Hello, tis me, Mouse Smile

I'm one of the Brave Babes aboard the Battle Bus, on the journey to sobriety.

We have drinkers, non-drinkers, inbetweeners, notquitesurers...... which is all fantastic. Smile

No matter who you are or where you're at in your personal quest to get where you want to be, come grab a seat and join in the natter, just jump right in. Smile

And, if you'd like to see where we've been up until now, HERE is a link to the last thread and the ones before it

See you soon.

OP posts:
dementedma · 05/04/2012 09:53

lola brilliantly well done on last night
fairefux many of us can relate to what you said earlier. I have a stinking cold, feel crap and a lemsip and early bed was called for, not 3 glasses of wine! it is beyond irrational at times. Hope you slept ok in the sidecar and tidied up when you left

Fairenuff · 05/04/2012 10:05

Morning Smile

I find that if I go into a situation undecided I will inevitably drink. I need to make the decision. Either I am drinking or I'm not.

Ferfux apart from drinking, what else are you planning to do to celebrate? It's just another evening to get through but there is so much more you could be doing than sitting around together drinking like you have done on so many other evenings. What's so special about that?

Is there some other way you could mark the occasion. Perhaps make it the first one without alcohol as a symbol of your long and healthy future together? The thing is, some habits are hard to change and some are easier. But you do need to make the effort x

Lola did the fake tan stay on?

Keep guessing ma (I can still see it btw and one of you got really, really close last night).

I have a friend coming to see me today. Her dad died very recently. He was an alcoholic. She had a terrible childhood but was able to make her peace with him before he died. He was admitted with alcohol related problems and after a couple of days in hospital he was discharged with nowhere to go. She couldn't have him at her house because she has children and it would not have been appropriate. They put him out on the street. A few days later he collapsed and was readmitted. She asked for him to not be revived so they switched off the machines and now he is finally at peace.

MsGee I am liking the Supernanny tactics. Will LittleMissGee toe the line to earn back her toys or will mum & dad crack when she looks at them all gorgeous and doe-eyed? Oooh the suspense Grin.

MsGee · 05/04/2012 10:20

Faire you are driving me insane with the eye-spy.
Strong women, sober women? Struggling women?

Super women?

DH already broke and told DD that if she was good all day she could have her toys back.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend's dad. Its a very, very sad situation for all concerned.

Lolabelle · 05/04/2012 10:32

Faire the fake tan stayed on! Mild clammy feeling but no drenched sweats thank god. DH has really pissed me off today, used my Toyota Prius to work in London. Claiming it was congestion charge exempt as except it's not and has racked up £180 worth of fines all landing on the doorstep today in my name Angry

He's such a tool, told him to check models/years but he brushed me off - so want to get slaughtered tonight, not going to lie to u Blush. The thing is I have got through the worst sweats and my stomach is less bloated which was an unexpected bonus and I do feel better in fitness but just a bit anxious and glum about where my 'fun' will come from without wine. I just have more fun when pissed. While friggin' weekend plus my MIL is enough to turn anyone to bloody wine...

Plus side bought some fab skinny jeans from Topshop yesterday as I figure 4 days of no wine equals about £35 - £40 so treated myself. Need to lay off the wine a little but more as my legs resemble two chipolatas but long top until then Wink

Lolabelle · 05/04/2012 10:33

Oh and I'm tanned without bags under eyes and pumping head so surely I should stay on the bus for these reasons alone. And my new pastel skinny jeans obv....

Fairenuff · 05/04/2012 11:01

Lola just look at the benefits after only 4 days! Go you (am Envy about the skinny jeans though - can't really see me ever wearing anything like that, but you never know).

You will learn to have fun without alcohol. It's possible, of course it is. Did you never have fun before you came to rely on alcohol? Look at kids, they have the most fun of all without a drop Grin.

Once you stop thinking that you are depriving yourself and realise you are actually treating yourself, you will enjoy all those sober days x

MsGee · 05/04/2012 11:52

Faire do not avoid the eye spy game - I have to leave to pick up DD soon..

WHAT THE JEFF IS IT???

Lola you are doing so well, keep going.

Do you really have more fun when pissed? Really? You must be that one in a million. A lot of people think they do but really - do they?

Here's how much fun I have when drinking...
Glass One - pretty much slammed down thankyou very much. I deserve it because I work hard / am celebrating / am sad. So not really enjoyed - just consumed.
Glass Two - feeling woozy now, that is nice. But wait, so-and-so has barely touched theirs, how can I get another glass, perhaps if I go in the kitchen for a snack and down a glass in there? Will anyone notice? Why do people drink slowly. I would like to stop here but I CAN'T. And I am too busy obsessing about the next drink I don't really enjoy it
Glass Three - necked in kitchen
Glass Four - why do people drink so slowly ... still more for me he he. Lets talk about me, I feel the need for a deep conversation
Glass Five onwards - arguing with DH, feeling shitty.

in the night - thirsty, worrying about breathing alcohol on DD

in the morning - hungover, shouty at DD, tired, sick of things, desperate for 7pm to start it all again.

Now, does that sound like FUN???? Grin

Lolabelle · 05/04/2012 12:02

Faire they are a different choice of garment for me but maybe this sobriety think is turning me a lil' crazy Wink

MsGee that is spot on, always sneaking an extra drink to get into blotto stage - u forgot waking in the morning and being reminded what u said/done. I just attach so many things to alcohol, even Sat nights The Voice/BGT I have to have snacks and at least 2-3 bottles of Sauv Blanc chilling and the sad thing is I usually have to watch the end the next day as I don't remember it. Gotto keep focused, might pop out to get some soft drinks that are lush, used to like sparkling elderflower, hmmmm.....

Greyhound · 05/04/2012 12:06

MsGee you sum it up perfectly. Mine would be:

5 pm - Get that bottle open. Make sure there's another one chilling in the freezer so I can drink half of the first and then start on the second so it looks like I'm drinking less than a bottle.

1st Glass - What a relief. Switch on TV and watch several rubbish programmes that I won't remember in the morning.

2nd Glass - Euphoric little rush; this is lovely, must keep going before the buzz fades.

3rd Glass - Well, I deserve it and dammit I don't care.

4th Glass - Dh home by now and is in kitchen. I wish he would go upstairs so I can nip in and get second bottle out of freezer. He doesn't move and I can't wait so I nonchalantly wander into the kitchen and take the bottle.

5th Glass - Definitely tiddled by now. It's only bloody 6 pm.

6th Glass - Just want to sleep now but have to eat so make quick meal. I don't want to eat earlier as it will absorb the effects of the wine.

Around 8 pm, start thinking about going to bed. Dh has been upstairs all evening and ds is on his computer. So, I've had plenty of time to drink alone. Wine is my best friend, Mummy's Little Helper.

10 pm - wake with raging first and glug water from one of the plastic bottles by the bed. This continues at regular intervals during the night.

7.30 am - wake up and my thoughts turn to HOW CRAP DO I FEEL and HOW MUCH DID I DRINK and HAVE I GOT ENOUGH BOOZE LEFT IN THE HOUSE or DO I NEED TO GO TO THE SHOPS AND GET SOME MORE?

8.00 am - slink down to the kitchen to assess the damage. Two bottles, both more than half empty. I hold one up against the other to see how much space there is in each bottle. I have drunk more than a bottle, more like a bottle and a half. And that doesn't count the large glass I poured from the dregs of yet another f*ing bottle.

This is the cycle I have been in for years and years. This is the first time I have been dry for more than two nights. Today is day four and today I will not drink.

Good luck to all the babes :)

Greyhound · 05/04/2012 12:06

thirst not first

thurso1 · 05/04/2012 12:44

Hello Babes,

Just got in from a major shopathon, not food, Easter eggs and pink jeans!!!!

Greyhound I thought I was the only person in the world to do the freezer two bottle trick, also the comparing the morning after Blush. It was a revelation to me to read your post just now. Unbelievable what we do really.

Righto off to unpack, I had to get my priorities straight and check in with the Babes first Grin.
xxx

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 05/04/2012 12:58

Hello again Babes

Greyhound 4 days is fantastic! And I'm starting to wonder whether Lola and thurso are going to make coloured jeans compulsory on the bus! :)

Work is fine, I didn't need to be nervous (good old imposter syndrome) and I'm feeling better than I did this morning. DB is coming round tonight and that usually means alcohol, so I'm going to buy some non-alcohol beer and make myself scarce upstairs doing homework.

He's coming over to look after Sunnycat, as we're away this weekend with DMil. It's a quiet weekend at the cold seaside, with healthy eating, bracing walks and very little access to alcohol. I'm looking forward to it.

Love to all xx

ilovemyelectricblanket · 05/04/2012 13:57

Sarah - so good to hear from you. :) How are you? Did you get more sleep last night?

I did drink the blasted rose but I only drank HALF of it. Which is unheard of. As in has never happened before. Im not proud. But I am pleased it was only half. Thats what some 'normal' drinkers do isnt it....!

Still. Its another day. Youre right Sarah about the battle. Bluddy knackering.

Lola Greyhound - YOURE AMAZING. You did brilliant last night and I doff my cap. Go for it again!!! Show us how its done! :)

Faire is it SUPPORT?

Isinde lovely kindness from you last night - thank you. Want to upgrade to Gerald tonight? Sunny you too?

JWN - from your first post... did you never drink again? Or have you had false starts like meself? How are you coping after awfulness of "DrivewayGate"?

ferfux - pls dont feel shitty. youre lovely. is it your rebellious little girl inside thats saying (pardon my french) fuck it to the drink problem. were you a rebellious teenager? did you get to rebel ever? if not then you might be wresting with more than just an addiction to alcohol?

helpyourself - i want to be like you. Blush

What I want to know is is there anything to help with the cravings? Like smokers have nicotine replacement patches, gum, lozenges and inhalers.....

Is there anything I can buy to help me?

Sorry for long old post. Boys are stickering and colouring and generally being very well behaved....? Shock

venusandmars · 05/04/2012 14:00

Sand?
Sea?
Sunshine?

Or is it just me who lives by the beach Grin

venusandmars · 05/04/2012 14:02

Spring?
Supportive Babes?
Smiling sober faces?

venusandmars · 05/04/2012 14:09

Great post Blanket, agree with what you said about the rebelling. I was always a 'good girl' but rebelled like crazy whenever I was on my own. And the only rules i could really rebel against were my own rules, so I spent my time pleasing everyone else and disappointing myself.

I suppose with nicotine the main habit that's being broken is the one of inhaling nicotine into ones lungs. Maybe the comparison would be spraying a facewipe with anti-freeze and sticking it onto your arm. It's always worth a go, and is certainly no more bizzare than all the things we do as alcoholics (hidden bottles in the freezer etc, etc).

venusandmars · 05/04/2012 14:10

Sausage?
Sausage-roll?

swallowedAfly · 05/04/2012 14:11

hello Smile

msgee and greyhounds posts make great, if uncomfortable, reading.

might slip back onto the bus - well the sidecar really as i'm pretty sure i'm not ready to stop the cycle. might be nice to at least start considering doing so though.

how is everyone? i'm loathing the school holidays at the minute and i'm not even through week 1!

thurso1 · 05/04/2012 14:12

All unpacked, just going to have some lunch and then wrap DH's presents for next week (sorry, boring), sorry I am a bit excitable today, Dc1 home tonight and Dc2 home tomorrow morning Grin.

May I just say.....
Saucepan(s)
Sugar
Saffron ???

xxx

thurso1 · 05/04/2012 14:13

Hello Saf, welcome back, I missed you.

swallowedAfly · 05/04/2012 14:16

thanks thurso - missed you too.

am sat here contemplating going for a walk which translates to manufacturing a way of passing the shop and buying a bottle of wine Hmm it would involve going up the road to the playing fields and briefly allowing dog and boy to run round before walking back the long way around in order to go into the shop. then dealing with that paranoid stream of consciousness i go through about whether the shop woman thinks i'm an alcoholic or not.

sorry to dive straight in with moaning x

swallowedAfly · 05/04/2012 14:17

oh and i'm on a double dosing phase which means alcohol PLUS obscene amounts of chocolate for example.

ilovemyelectricblanket · 05/04/2012 14:28

Venus how are you? I have posted a couple of Flea Costume photos for all to see complete with pants on head and everything! They loved dressing up and did brillo in their little play! Thanks for pants idea!

BTW - they were meant to be blue and red fleas.... odd I know!

Hello SAF. Shitty Funny old game isnt it. How about you just buy one of those cans of Gin and Tonic and a Mars Bar? Just one can? Or better still. A bottle of soda water and some cranberry juice? Just try it out for one night and wake up feel proud and pleased with yourself.

x

venusandmars · 05/04/2012 14:53

Brilliant photos blanket Grin and you have great skill to take an idea and make it work. When my dc were little I woud have had the same kind of creative idea, but my hands never seem to make what I imagine, and my dc would have just looked as though they had..., well...., pants on their heads really.

Hey saf good to see you. How about a single beer fro this afternoon, then chocolate and tea for the rest of the night?

thurso have a lovely happy time. I too will have a complete family home on Sunday Grin Grin [weepy, happy grin]

Greyhound · 05/04/2012 15:15

It's interesting, Blanket about the rebelling thing. I never, ever rebelled as a child or teenager. I was the "good" child whilst my younger brother rebelled against school, our parents, just about anything. In his teens, he went out all weekend drinking. Now, he is a married father and rarely touches alcohol. So it seems ironic that I am the one with the problem. Whilst he was stealing my Dad's Russian vodka and drinking it in bed, I had no interest in alcohol at all.

It's amazing, the things alcholics do. The bottles in the freezer, the way we lapse so quickly from feeling guilty to thinking 'What the hell, I don't have a problem, why shouldn't I have at least one 'vice'?'. I justify my drinking by saying that I take lots of exercise, don't smoke and eat well. But I'm still drinking far, far too much.

I can't believe I'm on day four. It feels strange. I am still dehydrated, drinking loads of water. I won't drink today but tomorrow (Friday, the weekend, a bank holiday to boot, the biggest trigger ever) I probably will.

I am sleeping so, so much better. I no longer wake up in the night to drink water. But I am so exhausted, I feel I am recovering from an illness - I suppose I am.

I was wondering what the worst thing I ever did whilst drunk. Probably the many times I verbally attacked dh and tried to get him to leave. Or was it the time I was putting ds to bed and I fell asleep, fell out of his bed and injured my head? Stinking of booze and my hair full of blood, ds and dh worrying about me - awful memories.

In my single days, drinking led to one night stands with men (and yes, one time, a woman) and waking up feeling shameful. I would go to parties and flirt outrageously with anything with a pulse. Oh and the hangovers. I lived alone so I drank alone. I once climbed onto the window sill of my four storey high flat and thought about throwing myself onto the rail track that ran past the building. Oh the lovely memories.

One other thing I used to do - my parents are practically non drinkers and fairly disapproving of alcohol. They are still very strict with me, even though I am in my forties. My dad once lost his temper when I requested a second glass of wine at dinner. He refused to give me a second glass.

I hated going to stay with them because of my dad's temper and because they would serve a wine in little glasses and only filled them half way. A second glass was never offered and I learnt not to request it. A bottle of wine would last for three nights which amazed me. I used to nip into the larder and neck a bottle of whiskey. The thought of being caught was terrifying - all would have been revealed.