The Brave Babes Battle Bus - BOINGing Into Spring, The Jesus(WhatNext) Way!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

I'm one of the Brave Babes aboard the Battle Bus, on the journey to sobriety.

We have drinkers, non-drinkers, inbetweeners, notquitesurers...... which is all fantastic.

No matter who you are or where you're at in your personal quest to get where you want to be, come grab a seat and join in the natter, just jump right in.

And, if you'd like to see where we've been up until now, HERE is a link to the last thread and the ones before it

See you soon.

Hi all - sorry Ma and Mouse are having such a difficult time.

Well, I planned to drink last night and I did. I drank about a bottle :( so definitely in the sidecar. However, even if I can just stick to drinking at the weekend it will be an improvement.

Of course, I slept badly and was thirsty - big contrast to the lovely sober sleeps I have had lately [buhmm]

Morning grey what's your plan for tonight?

hopefully I understand what you mean about the pressure of going to a wedding, but tbh I could any excuse to drink - special occasions, good weather, bad weather, feeling happy, feeling sad..... Remember you are going to toast to 'health and happiness'. For me good health and happiness means doing that without alcohol. I also used to find that special occasions such as weddings were actually the easiest for me to abstain at - because the alternative would so often end up really frustrating - never enough booze to keep me happy, way, way too long hanging around without a drink while photos were taken, a finite amount of wine allocated to each table, being surrounded by 'normal' drinkers who thought they were pushing the boat out by consuming a glass of (lukewarm) fizz followed by a couple of small-ish glasses of (cheap) red 2 hours later. Nightmare scenario for a 'proper' drinker. I'd end up exhibiting my worst behaviour - drinking beforehand, a secret stash for in-between times, a swift 'extra' drink every time I went to the bar. And despite all of that still having the slight feeling of panic that I might not get enough, resulting in me completely overdoing it, with some shameful results.

Phew! nothing remotely healthy or happy about any of that!

i'm definitely a before-hand drinker. it's what makes the wait for them to hurry up and actually serve some bloody alcohol more bearable

Helpyourself Well, I am going to try to resist the demon... Let's see. I don't feel the same resolve at weekends. Of course, now I can see the benefits of sobriety it is easier to resist the wine but I am hopeless at the weekends...

Venus Oddly enough, I never drink at weddings now following a drunken experience at a wedding when I was about 25 - I got off with a guy who I thought was 22 and he turned out to be 17. Eek!

Last wedding I went to, a couple of years back, I was horribly smug the morning after as I was fresh as a daisy and everyone else was nursing evil hangovers. If only I was like all the time...

Morning!! Thanks everyone for being so friendly. The wine is untouched in the fridge. The kids were up til 2.30 apparently, wired oin Haribo. I went to bed at 1 and ignored it having been in every 15 mins from about 10 telling them it was time to sleep.

Re the wedding, I would dread that, though drunkenness is almost compulsory at a wedding which takes the pressure off a little. It's harder to be inappropriate. It doesn't always work, but alternating soft and alcoholic drinks might be the way forward. I have tonic and lime sometimes and tell myself it's got a gin in it and it can be quite nice!

Good luck with it anyway.

Hi lizzie (I can't call you unhappy...), one of the best things for me now having an empty nest, is that I no longer have to hold any sleep-overs. Bliss

Lizzie Great news about the wine not being drunk - I'm afraid I jumped into the side car last night but I am going to try and just drink at weekends. I can't see myself giving up altogether.

My ds LOVES Haribo and I do to - especially the Tangfastic ones and the sour fruit ones.

Morning Babes (or is it afternoon now?), been away for a few days so good to catch with all & hello to all newbies.

Well, went on spa break with friend & twas bleedin' marvellous. Gawjus spa rooms by the dozen & treatments - positively zen like now (even with demon kids now screaming in background). Downside is that I had 2 glasses of presecco both nights but actually didn't really enjoy them on the 2nd night. So whilst I did cave in, am quite proud of myself that I only had 2 small glasses, didn't crave any more & woke in the morning feeling fine.

Interesting talk about being obliged to get trolleyed at weddings. There was a wedding reception at our hotel, with a huge amount of drunkards staggering around. TBH it just made me shudder at the thought of their hangovers the next morning. I have lost count of the weddings I have attended & got wasted on cheap nasty wine, resulting in feeling hideous next day. (puking in back of car into plastic bag emoticon!).

So whilst I am now longer smugly riding on the crest of 'Roger', I cannot quite allow myself to slide down to the sidecar. Have not had anything to drink since I got back & don't intend to today, so can I just sit at the back of Gerald with shamed look on my face pretty please?

Greyhound when I first cut down my drinking I stuck to weekends. I had a few slips ups along the way but, on the whole it worked for me. I drank on Friday and Saturdays only.

Then, one week when I had nothing in particular planned at the weekend, I decided to not drink on Saturday and I loved having a hangover-free Sunday. I felt like I had 'gained a day' at the weekend [busmile].

So I mainly stopped drinking on Saturdays too. It took me longer to crack Friday because of the 'end of the week, time to relax' trigger. Fridays were really difficult for me because I was tired. Anyway, I finally cut out Friday too and went a whole fortnight without a drink. Then I did three weeks and from there it was much, much easier to abstain when I wanted to.

Once you realise you can change the habits it's easier to make the decision to not drink, and stick to it.

Hello Lizzie welcome to the bus [busmile]

morning all
just emptied the attic as the guys are coming to lag in next week - covered in dust and surrounded by old letters, diaries, "congratulations on the birth of your baby cards" etc. Even found my old school homework diary - an A minus! what was that about?
Place is filthy now but DD1 is amusing herself re-reading her "story writing " jotter from P3. "I stayed at Grandma's and so did DD2 and we had tea and biscuits in bed and it was nice"

Hey, Chasing, I'll sit with you with equally shamed face :)

Thanks Fairenuff - that's what I'm planning to do. Friday, as you say, is a really big trigger - it's almost obligatory to drink on a Friday.

sounds like a nice day ma

we've baked a cake and had a lovely bath together and ds is watching some ben10 movie whilst i have a bit of mn time.

feeling a bit of temptation and i think it's because i didn't eat early enough in the day so have just had a glass of coke and hope that will do the trick.

Pleased to sit next to you greyhound, budge up and pass the Haribos

i am drinking a beer. rubbish.

Are there any more in the fridge saf?

Why don't you stop now- brush teeth, get into pyjamas and resolve to stop.

I'm not around tonight- I'm sure there will be other BBs around though. Good Luck!

saf, chasing, grey and any other sidecar dwellers- do post tonight.

Someone very flatteringly said a few days ago they wanted to be like me, and it really is great, being me and not drinking. If drinking is hurting you and you stop, it really is the best thing in the world.

Now, I really am out tonight- showing up and being part of my family's life. I would have been full of fear and self loathing and dreaded it a few year's ago, but stopping drinking has been like a magic wand in the effect it's had on who I am and what I do.

Please join me! [bugrin]

Saf, how's it going? Don't beat yourself up. Can you get an early night in - bath / book?

nothing terrible happening. went to the shop and bought two beers, have drank one in over an hour. it's not a lot and i don't feel the need to drink a lot but it's rubbish given i said i wasn't drinking today.

going to put ds to bed soon and get in my pjs and curl up and watch something with some chocolate buttons.

Help I really, really want to join you. I'm sick of spending hour after hour thinking about my first drink of an evening. I know it's early days & even though I had a drink the other night, already I think I feel its stranglehold loosening. I'm not experiencing the same cravings as I was & I sense things slowly shifting.
Had conversation with friend last night about drinking & she said if she never had another drink in her life it wouldn't bother her. How great & liberating it must be to feel that way.
So want to stay strong

I'm having a glass of wine. Postponing the study til tomorrow. I've told myself I deserve it after the sleepover last night. Any excuse, I mean, really.

Re weddings. I got plastered at my own. I was dreading it. My dh (now stbxh fwiw) was v judgemental about drinking. Not just mine (well particularly mine) but anyone's. I've only seen him really pissed half a dozen times in fourteen years.

I was actually a bit pissed when I got married. I'd stayed with a gf the night before and she was giving me Buck's Fizz in the morning. Wedding was at 1.30pm at Westminster Register Office. It was a long, long, day. I kept it together until his conservative family (who I was terrified of and desperate to be approved of by) had all left - about 8pm -then I lost it.

I can't remember it all, but people ended up coming back to our house. My sister was in tears because she'd snogged some male friend of mine then got the brush off and J, the wife of one of dh's work partners and a full-on drinking-during-the-day-every-day type was there too, absolutely trashed. I passed out on the sofa in my ivory shift dress.

Next day when we drove to our boutique hotel in the Cotswolds we stopped at a motorway service station and dh berated me, saying 'well, I'm fucking stuck with you now', while I sat sobbing.

He's had a fair bit to put up with but is passive aggressive and hypercritical.

We are separating when we sell our house but currently under the same roof. If I'm honest, I'm not sure how it will go re my drinking. I'm hoping I'll feel energised and liberated, I never feel comfortable when he's around. On the other hand, I will be able to do what I like and there won't be anyone to look after me. I'm thinking it will be the former, but I have enough respect for my own problems to know I will have to be careful.

Comprehensively pissed. I knew this wedding was a mistake. Not from their POV, they are delightful and I love them dearly. But i knew I wouldn't be able to hold it together. Sorry all. I've let you down.

No you haven't. You can still type. Give yourself a break, it was a wedding. Have a cup of tea and stop now. x

Hope can't be that bad if you're typing. Get a soft drink or maybe call it a night?

Evening, tis me, Mouse

My day off at a spa was awesome, well, no, not really. The treatments were, the place was heaving due to it being brides-to-be time! Eeeek! There were a lot of ladies there today, all expecting to be treated like Goddesses.

Hope - you can see that, right? HOPE? It's in part of your name. Use it. Take it to heart. You can HOPE to stop drinking and go to bed. You can HOPE to wake up feeling okay.

Take hold of your name and hold on tight. One thing that I know to be true is that no matter how much you HOPE, it has to be down to YOU to take action and stop drinking lovely.

If you HOPE for support, you're in the right place. It's here for you. So, stop beating yourself up, look at where you are, (here with us) and just take your time as a sober Babe, One Day At A Time.

If not a day, an hour, minute, second. Take control of your life. HOPE that you can nail this sucker booze, believe that you want it, really feel that you want it, and it will become a reality, not just HOPE xx