The Brave Babes Battle Bus - BOINGing Into Spring, The Jesus(WhatNext) Way!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

I'm one of the Brave Babes aboard the Battle Bus, on the journey to sobriety.

We have drinkers, non-drinkers, inbetweeners, notquitesurers...... which is all fantastic.

No matter who you are or where you're at in your personal quest to get where you want to be, come grab a seat and join in the natter, just jump right in.

And, if you'd like to see where we've been up until now, HERE is a link to the last thread and the ones before it

See you soon.

morning

i reckon it's screen.

i feel ouchy ouchy ouchy and bleurghhhhhhh!!!!!

day one for me. finally. don't let me fall off the bus please.

msgee - don't blame yourself. the agenda has been set you know? women's services have been targeted as dispensable by central government and down from there sadly. i reckon once an area starts being targeted it gains momentum of others seeing it as dispensable too and snowballs. a few years back here it seemed to be mental health services that were being hit again and again and again for savings. it's maddening and very very sad but definitely not your fault and i'm really proud of you that you're going to be going all out to try and help them get more funding - that's fantastic.

i think i've been avoiding you lovely ladies but now i'm here i'm very glad to be back. i didn't want anything challenging my denial. god it's frustrating. it would be very much easier to just tell myself some nice comforting lies.

need to remember the bus is nicer than wine.

today has to be day 1 and that is that. i've got to do it.

d'aaaaargh venus - I was going to post "shadow" - you beat me to it!
lola check-in please for a good slapping hugs and support . And welcome to the bus proper. You have done brilliantly well, and you will do again. Journeys on this bus are long ones. The sidecar is not an alternative long-term transport - it is only there to catch falling babes and stop them hitting the road face-first with their knickers on show. it gives you safety for the night and then onto the bus with you my lovely.
having had ONE glass last night and then stopping, I am contemplating climbing onto the roof rack of regulation and checking out the view from there.
MsGee - pm me where abouts you are and what the refuge is about and I'll put my thinking cap on.
Today am taking mother shopping and father into care. hey ho!

saf thank you, that means a lot to me. Day 1 ... You're right the bus is much nicer than wine

ferfux my DH is not a problem drinker but still drinks less when I'm not drinking.

venus I have watched jake and the never land pirates Peter Pan shadow story a zillion times. DD is obsessed!

Day 1 here! Bern off booze since jan and lost 2 stone!! Last week been dabbling with just a little gin/glass of wine.. And feel a slippery slope in in view. Back to thinking about drinking again. ( shall I just get a little bottle of ... For later etc) which I hadn't been doing. So need to check in

That sounds like a tough day ma. I took my dps to the airport yesterday, complete faff of wheelchairs, case, forgotten disabled pass, broken spectacles, another suitcase full of their various pills and medicines and bandages. They're off to stay with my long-suffering dsis (her husband will probably be raiding dm's valium by now ).

And look, I forgot to use one of these [bugrin] [bugrin]

Hi swallowed lovely to have you back.

My Hot X buns are rubbish. They didn't rise after the initial knock back and are more like rock cakes.[busad]

Day 1 for me too saf.

Love to all you Babes, away for weekend with MIL and DH shortly. xxx

Back on bus, day 1 annoyingly but last proved time there is no joy in being pissed in the sofa solo, it's quite ridiculous really and dh isn't really a support, I clearly bore him when drunk which is fine but just makes u feel worse. I am so much more focused now - maybe I needed to have a slip up to make me realise how pointless getting slaughtered on the sofa is! I am planning a huge DIY weekend so not a sniff of alcohol for me. Sorry if I sounded so flat last night, I don't normally analyse my drinking whilst drinking if that makes sense?? It had a sobering effect. Hope everyone is well xxx

ok.

tell me what to do to get through day one.

i know nothing anymore.

i think eating is probably a good idea so i don't get the low blood sugar hell reach for alcohol quick fix thing this afternoon. i've been doing that.

i feel like shit btw just in case anyone needed reminding that hangovers suck donkey dong.

oh and i hate school holidays and need to get organised in future. last one was bearable and actually good because i planned a trip away and that used the time up well. this one we are just drifting and it is endless. might try and write a plan.

excuse me waffling away - will probably do that a lot today to keep me focussed on not drinking.

have a nice weekend sunny and rock cakes are nicer than hot cross buns imo help. i may bake a cake actually - ds is on constant eating mode this week so it won't go to waste.

Hi saf here are some ideas [busmile]

Keep busy! I can't remember what your 'home situation' is like- can you tell anyone you're trying not to drink, and spend time with them? I had my parents around a lot in the early days, initially in crisis mode and then for the company. Make sure you've got supplies in cordials, treats and essentials- no excuse to nip to the shops at trigger time because you've 'run out of milk'. If you smoke get cigarettes in -again no excuse to nip to the shops. [buhmm]

Post here when you're craving.

lola
dh isn't really a support, I clearly bore him when drunk maybe that is supportive- it sounds like you're analysing your drinking. Staying up with you, and reassuring you that you don't have a problem would have been kinder, but it's not really supportive is it?

MsGee I'm so sorry about the refuge - it just seems wrong on every level, doesn't it?

Lola - felt like you do more times than I care to remember. Today is another day.

Managed to avoid the booze last night and I can't believe how well I'm sleeping. Already planning to get some wine in for the weekend, though. I'm hoping that if I have some tonight and sleep badly it will give me the incentive to give it up. I'm hopeless - I just can't see a life without alcohol. I suppose if I can just keep the drinking to the weekend that's better than drinking every single night.

One problem I do have is that, every night I haven't drunk, I have had a wave of anxiety and depression just before going to bed. It's horrible - I start thinking about horrible things like people abusing children, animals etc. Then I start thinking about the fact that you never know what's around the corner, that life can change in an instant. I know I am probably stressed about MIL but I really hope the dip in mood doesn't keep happening. If it does, I will have to see the psychiatrist again.

Have a good day all of you Babes :)

[busad] Grey when you feel like that come on here and post that you are off top bed sober-and how you are feeling. Do you have RL non drinking support? From AA I have friends I could call and even from the beginning I had phone numbers.

One night, quite early in my sobriety I had a really nasty fall at about 11- I was putting the dog out and she pulled as she saw a fox. It was horrible- I had a real 'drinking injury' scrape all up my leg. To be able to talk to another alcoholic about the specifics of feeling shaky and sore on the way to bed stopped me having a drink.

Hi there Helpyourself - thanks for your message :) I don't really have RL support. My husband is so laid back and non confrontational he probably wouldn't know what to say/do. I will definitely be on here tonight, that's for sure.

I know that my drinking habits have been so bad and dangerous. If you'd told me last week (or anytime during the last decade or so) that I would be able to go four days without drink I wouldn't have believed you. It is like the biggest weight off my shoulders. Even in four days, so much has changed - I feel less bloated, fresher, the guilt and fear has gone and I am sleeping so well. I must just keep remembering that when I get a craving.

When you fell and hurt your leg, it must have been awful. I have had all sorts of disasters - fell out of my son's bed and hurt my head whilst putting him to bed, fell on the kitchen floor, dropped a laptop down the stairs (£250 to repair the damn thing), you name it.

My rock bottom moment? Take your pick - was it the time I woke up in bed with my COUSIN? Okay, he was adopted so not biologically related but he was still my cousin! That was long before marriage but I still cringe. Or was it the time I ran out of the house, kitchen knife in hand, barefoot, telling my dh I was going to kill myself? Or how about the many, many drunken rows I have had with my parents, my dh and just about anyone else in the firing line.

I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I couldn't have stopped drinking for four days without this thread. I have been looking for a long time for an internet support group and I am amazed (and saddened) to find so many women like me who are in a destructive cycle with drink.

It does help to talk to other alcoholics - the relief is stunning.

The falling and hurting my leg was awful because it was so like a drinking injury- I was several months sober at the time, but the shaky feelings, time of night etc. it felt as if I was drunk. Being able to call another alcoholic who knew exactly how I was feeling got me to bed feeling ok.

So- back to you saf do you think you could reach out in real life- pick a sober babe and contact via PM, or contact AA?

morning!! weak boing here, am feeling really rough, i have picked up a chest infection (and with a chest like like mine you feel it! )

saf, lovely to have you back!

grey, from what i have learnt in AA, bank holidays are a huge trial for alcoholics! please please try not to drink today!! i think your feelings of anxiety are totally normal, just think aoubt it for a sec, for years drink has been numbing all your feelings, then, all of a sudden, your brain is finally 'allowed' to think freely, its going to run away with its self!! AA has a saying and its so true 'give time time', i still have to think about this on a daily basis, i want everything right here, right now, am so impaitent that i drive myself mad and for me too, the idea of a LIFE!!!! without drinking!! fucking hell! what a scary thought!! , honestly, the answer is to not think to hard! dont think about the rest of your life, just today will do! its only really today that counts!!

msgee - have pmed you!

Ill join you Venus. Ill join you.
x

JWN - The trouble with bank holidays is the word 'holiday'. Holidays are for having fun (drinking), relaxing (drinking) and... drinking.

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

Saf - great to have you back on the Bus

Keep busy, your hands and your mind.

Get some soft drinks in, and sweets for when the sugar craving kicks in at about 4pm....

Make sure that you've got no wine in the house, or if you have, get rid of it.

Plan your day away from alcohol so no walks with DS or the dog that go near the pub, you have different routes IIRC?

KEEP POSTING!! There's always a Babe around or not far off.

And, for me, I read that you want to stop. Great! But just stop for today, the next hour, then the next hour, the next..... you get the gist. If you begin to wobble, get on the Bus and ring the bell to let us all know you need us!

Lola - I imagine that you feel like DFDV (deep fried dog vomit) today. I hope that you're safe wherever you are. Last night was a fall from the Bus but get back on. You can snuggle with all of the other '1 dayers' and compare hangovers?!!

MsGee - I'm sorry that you're having a hard time with work I can never understand why 'The Powers That Be' decide that vital resources like where you are are less important than others. It's all about the money. Every time, it comes down to cost, not care.

So today we have a few 1st day Babes - I'll pass round carb laden foods and hot mugs of teas, coffee and hot chocolates

Nemo is still poorly, but I also think that the dust is causing him issues . The house is covered in a thin layer of white plaster dust. Grrrr. I'm not cleaning anywhere but his bedroom and the lounge where he feeds and plays.

Why don't some people understand how important it is for him to be in a clean environment? We can't escape as all of my friends are out or away for the Easter hols so if it stops drizzling, blowing a gale and he is awake, we'll have a wander to the ducks

holiday (ignoring any religious significance) - a day of rest or relaxation; cessation of nomal activity.

So rest your body, wrap up warm and have a lazy time. rest your liver and drink fresh juices and teas, relax into a day of deliberate soberness. or if you're like me - cease the normal lazing around and get on with some work [busmile]

I do know what you mean grey, after so many holiday weekends I returned to work feeling awful, but try this holiday as a break from the drinking habit, even if it only for an hour or two.

Morning [busmile]

Lots of us on Day 1 today, good company. I'll join you. Today I will not be drinking. Blanket those are the cutest lil fleas I ever did see (and I've seen a few on my cat recently [buhmm]).

Well the prize goes to . . . . . venus for shadow! Well done, you win a pair of non-possessed Minnie Mouse ears [bugrin]. And don't try to tell me you can't all see shadows all around you [buhmm], tut, tut [bugrin].

MsGee am loving the tea party idea. Today I will be chilling out with dd. The sun is actually out here so going to make the most of it. Ds is back tomorrow, yay, yay, yay, can't wait to see him again. Thurso I am nearly as excited as you! Have been thinking about all your happy preparations, have a lovely weekend with you boys. A lovely, sober, relaxed, fun weekend [busmile].

Sunday I am taking the dcs to PILs for a huge egg hunt and some family time with cousins, etc. Really looking forward to that too. I will drink then but for one day only. All part of the moderating, will let you know how it goes. Monday will be either relaxing or shopping, depending on how hungover tired everyone is [bugrin].

the bus is nicer than wine Saf if you don't mind, I would like to make that into a flag to fly from the flagpole attached to the roofrack. Welcome back, my lovely, it's good to see you sounding positive and up for a booze-free day today [busmile].

To get through Day 1 plan some activities, chop your 'trigger time' into half hour or 20 minute slots and plan something for each timeslot. Half an hour walk outside, 20 minutes playing a game with ds inside, half an hour swim or bike ride, 20 minutes beauty routines, half an hour baking, 20 minutes on mn, you get the idea . . . (I have yet to dye my hair so might do that this evening) . . . and come back here to let us know how you're doing.

Rusmum yay for you!!! That is absolutely fab. Two stone, wow you must have really gone for it. I bet you feel great. Come and chat with us a bit more. Especially if you think you might drink. Have you been completely off booze for the last 3 months or have you been moderating?

Poor Nemo - plaster dust is the worst :(