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Relationships

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Original poster

One Night Stands - have you ever?

83 replies

KarmaK · 26/03/2012 15:34

Have you ever had a One Night Stand? I don't mean a one-nighter with somebody you're already friends with etc. But have you ever gone out to a club, bar or wherever, met a complete and utter stranger and gone home with him and shagged him?

I've never had the bottle to do this. Not sure I've even really had the desire to do it.

OP posts:

signet2012 · 26/03/2012 15:41

I went through a stage after splitting up with exp who I had been seeing since I was 15 at 24... Went out with the sole intention of a one night stand. Thinking there is nothing stopping me, I'm an adult, he does not own me anymore. Can do what I like etc etc

Came home with pizza instead. I just couldn't. Too shy. Got loads of attention aswell which I didn't expect but just clammed up and went red.

Hence why most of my relationships have started out s friendship first.

LiarsWife · 26/03/2012 15:57

Yes I did when I was single and between partners for one year (in 2001)

In fact one guy I looked at some (still sealed)mail to find out what his name was!!

Didn't find any of it very satisfying .. wouldn't be doing it again 11 years on ...

MrTumblesCrackWhore · 26/03/2012 16:07

Once, it was more about the ego bolstering at the time. What I felt like afterwards was far worse though.

On a more positive note, I have two friends who both met their respective partners and now husbands in a nightclub/potential one night stand scenario.

akaemmafrost · 26/03/2012 16:14

No, I have done it on the first night but it always turned into something more. It irritates my mates no end that I have this "never had a one night stand" claim despite having done the first night thing a few times.

ShowOfHands · 26/03/2012 16:17

No, I don't like small talk. Exchanging fluids would be beyond me.

WaitingForMe · 26/03/2012 16:23

Yes.

I'm a gourmet cook but I'm not adverse to the odd takeaway, a girl has to eat. I'm very happily married to a man who is my sexual soul mate and nothing can beat that but when I was single I wasn't adverse to having my needs met at takeaway standard.

Never felt bad about it. I don't have a religious background so know I wasn't doing anything "wrong."

worldgonecrazy · 26/03/2012 16:24

Yes, when I was younger. I don't go to nightclubs very often these days. It was just about sex and ego-boosting. I didn't expect anything long term out of it and feel fine about it. Had some great sex with some gorgeous men, and some lovely (if hazy) memories.

hardboiledpossum · 26/03/2012 16:43

One that started as one night stands but always turned into something longer. A couple with guys who I knew a little bit before but not friends iyswim.

AKissIsNotAContract · 26/03/2012 16:47

Yes I had several when I was younger and single.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 26/03/2012 16:49

Yes, when I was young and single. DH was supposed to be a ONS but 29 years later...

JustHecate · 26/03/2012 16:54

Oh yes, loads. back when I was young and stupid and drunk a lot . I'd never hook up with a bloke and bring him back to my place / go back to a stranger's home these days. There's nothing 'wrong' ie immoral about it, it's simply that I'd be too worried about STDs or him turning out to be a mad axe murderer

Well, I'm married, so I think my husband might have something to say about it if I did! but if I was single I wouldn't.

Original poster

KarmaK · 26/03/2012 16:55

I would feel quite scared about inviting a stranger back to my flat, or going back to his. It just wouldn't feel very safe. Another fear I have is - what if you go back to his place and then decide that actually you don't want sex with him after all? What happens then? Will the guy take no for an answer?

OP posts:

JustHecate · 26/03/2012 16:57

That's the thing. You don't know. You don't know them. You have no idea if they are a decent person (which most men are) who will say fair enough, make you a coffee and wave you off - or if they won't.

Pinot · 26/03/2012 16:59

No. Just not my thing

Winkly · 26/03/2012 17:00

I have.

It's not the safest idea, for the reasons you mention. But then, those reasons still apply if you've shared a beer and a pizza a few times first!

Some ONSs made me feel like shit. Some made me feel gorgeous, sexy, amazing. It had a lot to do with how drunk/in control I was, and of course the good ones where when the bloke acted like a decent human being afterwards - again, something that a few dinners won't guarantee.

I don't really have a point here. Erm, use condoms and text a friend if you do have one (for safety not bragging :))

akaemmafrost · 26/03/2012 17:00

Obviously there is some danger but I personally have never encountered anyone who tried to press the issue. They were mostly perfectly normal nice chaps. And yes I have done the changed my mind sobered up thing and it was fine.

akaemmafrost · 26/03/2012 17:04

I personally have not encountered this but mates have, those that are abrupt and unaffectionate the next day in case you Fall In Love With Them. We always say "oh he was one of THOSE was he?" these men don't actually realise we are totally on to them and their nonsense.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 26/03/2012 17:05

Yes, several, as a student. Never made me feel either amazing or terrible; it was just a bit of fun.

I never changed my mind (although I did once make someone leave because he wouldn't go down on me ), so can't give you a perspective on that. TBH safety never crossed my mind ? I suppose I was at the 'young and invincible/immortal-feeling' stage of life ? but I don't mean to trivialise it and absolutely recognise that it's a real concern.

But as Winkly says, even if you're already dating, or even in a long-term relationship, forced sex can still happen.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 26/03/2012 17:07

My advice is make sure a friend knows who you are with and takes the guy's name and address especially if you are very drunk.

As long as a one night stand is what you WANT, why not? I would be quite annoyed at a man who tried to make it out to be a relationship.

McFluffster · 26/03/2012 17:08

I've pretty much always been in a relationship but I have had the odd couple of nights with people I know. I wouldn't really want to have sex with someone I'd just met. How would you know he wasn't a complete weirdo or an axe murderer or something? That would have been just my luck!

McFluffster · 26/03/2012 17:09

X-posted with half the thread. Excellent.

DinahMoHum · 26/03/2012 17:11

yes a few, some good, some really crap

Haziedoll · 26/03/2012 17:13

No. In a long term relationship for most of my adult life. I would have to be really into someone to want to sleep with them and if I really liked them I would be gutted if I didn't see them again.

Original poster

KarmaK · 26/03/2012 17:15

But then, those reasons still apply if you've shared a beer and a pizza a few times first!

I disagree with this really. If you've been on, say, 8 or so dates with a guy as well as probably talked at length on the phone in between dates, you're going to have far more of a sense of what a guy's like than if you've just met him at a bar earlier that night while you're possibly quite pissed.

OP posts:

piratecat · 26/03/2012 17:18

oh yes, many. between ages 22-26 when i was single, clubbing and looking for the 'one'!!

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