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Original poster

One Night Stands - have you ever?

83 replies

KarmaK · 26/03/2012 15:34

Have you ever had a One Night Stand? I don't mean a one-nighter with somebody you're already friends with etc. But have you ever gone out to a club, bar or wherever, met a complete and utter stranger and gone home with him and shagged him?

I've never had the bottle to do this. Not sure I've even really had the desire to do it.

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 26/03/2012 18:15

Yes lots of times. I was recently bereaved and wanted a sex life with no attachment.

I moved on to a regular fuck buddy, until i decided that i was ready for another relationship. Which i have had for 5 years.

I have a high sex drive and a vibrator wasn't enough.

I have never regretted it, one night stands gave me what i wanted, sex without any complications.

You have to be in the right place mentally and you have to be honest with yourself.

FreakoidOrganisoid · 26/03/2012 18:22

I did at uni, a couple of times.

And a few one nighters with people I already knew.

Uni was like living in this weird bubble though, have never done it outside of university life.

And I think now it would make me feel shit, but it didn't back then.

SnapesMistress · 26/03/2012 19:01

I did it tonnes back when I was single. TBH it was not safe but that kind of added to the fun Blush I had a few hairy experiences but they were thrilling in a way and they made for good stories for my mates.

perceptionreality · 26/03/2012 19:06

No, I've had various casual relationships but not a one night stand.

SauvignonBlanche · 26/03/2012 19:13

Yes, when I was much younger.
Some good, some bad.

gettingeasier · 26/03/2012 19:19

No

I wish I could though but have to have an attachment of some kind much prefer the idea of free easy and reckless !!!

garlicbutter · 26/03/2012 19:26

Yes! Never with the intention of making it a one-nighter, but plenty with a try-it-and-see attitude, no hearts broken.

My first full sex was what would be called a date rape these days. I went to his. On all future occasions, I brought them back to mine - seeing as I knew the neighbours (or staff, if away) and had a few basic safety routines in place, like telling a friend what I was up to.

One of my flatmates was even more of a slag than me and kept getting stuff nicked from her room. Turned out she was barely bothering to speak to the men before bringing them home for a rogering, and was generally too drunk to speak anyway (must have been great sex, then Hmm) After finding that out, I used to cross-examine take a name and phone number from her 'friends' before she got her kit off. Or before they left, if she was too fast for me!

tanfastic · 26/03/2012 19:30

Oh yes. I've had my fair share before I was married and in-between long term relationships. Always alcohol fuelled, nearly always made me feel like shit the next day.

Glad I finally grew up Blush

garlicbutter · 26/03/2012 19:42

Ooh, somebody else's post has reminded me I did do it on purpose once - soon after divorce #2. I picked a victim far away from where I lived, booked myself a room and went for it. I wanted to 'overwrite' the ex :)

GladysLeap · 26/03/2012 19:54

Once, when I was 16 Blush. He was a lot older. My friend was worried I didn't know what I was getting into, but I knew exactly what I was doing except for the safety aspect, which didn't cross my mind

He was a knob.

WineGoggles · 26/03/2012 19:58

No, but I?m not anti the idea. Like someone else mentioned, I have to really fancy someone to want to fuck them and would want a one night stand to lead on to a relationship. However, fuck buddies have worked really well for me in the past?until they got emotionally attached and had to be reminded of our initial ?no strings? chat!

Birdsgottafly · 26/03/2012 21:12

I think that ONS work better when you are older and know for sure that you are in a relationship free period in your life.

You know what you want sexually and have the confidence to demand it, thay way there is no alcohol needed.

aurynne · 26/03/2012 21:21

Yes, many times. Never from the pub though, yuck! I don't like drunks. I usually met the guys when I was out having dinner with friends, or in a bbq, or chatted in the internet and then met, or met in a backpackers, and if we both liked one another after a pool game, then I'd bring him home (or to my room). I was usually the one who did not call the next day, and some of them actually got angry about that! But hey, I have always been able to tell the difference between love and sex, and I never look for love in a one-night stand.

Anyway, I found that it was rare the one who was good in bed. So I had fun, but it was not the booms and fireworks some people make it out to be. I enjoyed the "adventure", the flirting, the "will he - won't he"... But for me, sex itself is much better with somebody who loves you, cares about you and knows what you like by experience. Now I have found the love of my life, I am happy I had that experience before, as there is nothing I regret or miss, and nothing I am giving up by being faithful to my DH-to-be for the rest of my days :)

DairyNips · 26/03/2012 21:24

Yep, had a few at Uni. Me and my friends all did and thought it was just a bit of fun. I can't remember any of them being any good and I was always drunk. After a while I realised it wasn't any good for my self esteem and it wasn't really that much fun after all. Waking next to a stranger and the awkward time after that trying to get them to leave is just awful!

After that I swore no more. I had a break and the next person I slept with was a friend of a friend, turned out to be my dhGrin

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 27/03/2012 09:06

I never felt that mine made my self-esteem suffer. In fact, I always felt great about the chase, anticipation, flirting etc. At uni my female mates and I sometimes used to go out just for a night out, and sometimes expressly 'on the pull', in the full anticipation of bringing someone home. It was a laugh and a bonding experience.

fiventhree · 27/03/2012 09:16

Yes, in my youth, but very rarely with complete strangers.

Mostly blokes I knew anyway at Uni.

Agree with posters who say it isnt very sexually satisfying, anyway. Or it isnt when you are in your early twenties and they are less sexually experienced-are young too.

smallnotfaraway · 27/03/2012 09:51

Wow, this thread is a real eye-opener! (well, most of the relationship threads are to me anyway). I didn't realise there were so many women (and I guess men) who did this, and I'm genuinely surprised. Though not religious now, I was brought up in a very traditional Catholic household, and quite honestly, the idea of a one nice stand was something very alien. I was extremely shy when younger so didn't do the whole dating thing much, and I was really taken aback when the first guy I went out with (at age 19) tried to get me into bed on the first date.

It's interesting to see a very different perspective of human relations, and what sex means to people.

I still feel I am very naive about relationships, despite being ancient and having been married twice. :)

garlicbutter · 27/03/2012 11:19

one nice stand - Freudian typo! Grin

what sex means to people. - Different things at different times, I think. The ideal full-love, soul-sharing, transcendental experience is an elusive creature at best. There's also humdrum sex, warm & cosy sex, sixty-second sex, 'nice' sex ... and social sex, amongst other permutations!

Everyone's sexuality changes over time, too. It seems to be that women's changes more than men's, or more often at least, what with all the major hormonal events we go through. I don't regret any of my one-off shags, but have gone off that now.

I might go back to it, though! Look away now if you don't like the thought of old folks bonking, but I have been told it's normal to get interested in social sex again (or for the first time) post menopause ...

Birdsgottafly · 27/03/2012 11:30

I think that when you are older and confident, there is little chance of having a crap time in the bedroom (or wherever you choose to have sex), because you are quite happy to tell them what you like and direct them.

If you have really rubbish sex, without calling a stop to it, then that is really the fault of both of you.

Birdsgottafly · 27/03/2012 11:32

Garlicbutter- the over 50's have the highest rates of STI's at the moment, because they think that the safe sex message doesn't apply to them.

LucyManga · 27/03/2012 11:32

Yep, in my younger days I did this a few times. It was fun.

garlicbutter · 27/03/2012 11:51

You're right, Birds. They're bonkers - AIDS hit the headlines right at the peak of our shagging activity, they must have forgotten about it Shock

Birdsgottafly · 27/03/2012 12:07

Or belived the propaganda that it was a gay or black disease.

smallnotfaraway · 27/03/2012 12:17

Garlicbutter - LOL at noticing my typo.

You know, that's another thing which would really bother me about a ONS- the STIs/crabs etc, (as well as the obviously over-the-top worry about them being a potential axe murderer risk others have pointed out).

I can appreciate how sexuality changes over time, but being naturally introverted, I think that sharing my body with a random stranger is just a concept that I can't ever imagine happening to me. Maybe only extroverts and very socially comfortable people can do this happily and successfully?

Kveta · 27/03/2012 12:20

yep, several - after my then boyfriend turned out to be an arsehole and sexually assaulted me (after we'd been dating for 10 months - nice...). I went a bit mad for a few years, and couldn't face a relationship, so spent a lot of time drinking and shagging. Possibly ended up with 4 or 5 ONS in total. Some were good, 1 was great, 1 was shit and I needed a lot of showers to stop feeling so ick afterwards.