Congratulations Crispy

[NotANaturalGeordie]

This is a new thread to offer support and appreciation to Crispy - it's many years since I left the ex-P and I am v happily married to DH now but I remember...

Bloody well done

I remember too. Such a feeling of elation even though I had no idea what the future held or where we would live. Well done crispy!

Aww thank you :o

I'm very lucky as the house was mine and remains so, so no worries about where to live or what I'll live on and thankfully finances etc were separate so it should be relatively uncomplicated to cut the ties.

My priorities for now are to get my health sorted - I need iron infusions in the immediate future and will need to have a couple of surgeries in the next year or so, then I should be fit as a flea and raring to go.

To finally finish my degree without him hovering over me asking how much longer I'm going to be stuck wiht my head in that book etc.

And just to focus on getting my confidence and self esteem back.. and I can feel that happening already - tis great :o

The feeling of relief is great. I remember meeting friends in the weeks afterwards who told me how much happier I looked, how much more relaxed I was. (((big hugs)))

Yep, I've had that already.. the decision was actually made on Thursday, he went to his mum's for the weekend and I saw a friend on saturday who said I looked 'alive' for the first time in years

I can feel my head getting higher and higher by the hour.. it's amazing :o

((huge huggs))

Feel a bit flat today.. not because I want him back but I suppose it's a bit of an anti-climax moment.

Going to go raid waitrose and get my nails and eyebrows done I think - I can afford it now I only have to shop for one :o

Yeah, enjoy doing all the things you couldn't do before. I was not on your original threads so I don't know the specifics of what your ex was like, but I remember just lapping up the freedom. For months I thought I could do ANYTHING!

It's probably normal for some people to feel a bit flat when all the adrenaline wears out. Look in the mirror and tell yourself "I'm free". Sounds corny but I had great fun doing that. And relished silly little things like doing the washing up MY way and listening to MY music etc.

Yesss!!! I was thinking earlier, I can have any station I want on the car stereo now, instead of boring talksport all the time :o

How did your day pan out crispy? X

I ended up doing sod all :o

People keep popping in to check on me - I'm really fine but they seem to think not, because I'm pale and weak and lost about 10lbs (which really shows up because I'm a shortarse) , but that's down to anaemia not grief.

I'm soo hungry today too, had a fry up this morning, big bag of chips for lunch, fish and veg just now and I'm still on the prowl for more lol. It's lucky I'm not a huge chocolate fan, but cheesy wotsits beware!

I've now pulled the blinds down and I'm going to have a soak in the bath, then retire to the sofa with the telly - got tons of stuff sky+ to watch that I coudln't when he was here

It's been a good day. Everyone commented on how different the atmosphere in the house is, how much less tense I am and how glad they are he's gone, seems no one liked him much.

Sound like a perfect day:)

Enjoy watching YOUR choice of tv. Oooh, I kind of feel excited on your behalf!

What do you enjoy watching?

My ex liked violent music and films (scar face and that kind of thing). I like period dramas and gentle stuff like 'all creatures great and small'.

It's been over 9 years since we escaped and I still appreciate my freedom:)

It's been really lovely.. peaceful. Sounds odd but it was so nice not to have to stash the cups away, cos when he came in he would look around and ask who's been in the house then get snotty if it was someone he didn't approve of or he thought fancies me - which was pretty much everyone, lol. So I used to wash everything up and put away before he got home, now I don't have to do that.

Of course there have been copious texts from exp which I've ignored.

I urge to relentlessly ignore each and every text, no matter how pleading/provocative it is. You're doing really well.

I like documentaries about sociological and psychological stuff, or about ww2. Got a series to watch called hitler's henchmen. I love benidorm and corrie, and I've still got most of the last season of big love to watch and something I've not looked at yet called homeland.

He liked nature programmes and those police chase ones, and only fools and horses, which made me yawn.

Only fools and horses??? Ha ha ha ha!!

I know!

for a young bloke he liked a lot of old people stuff.. and if we went out he was always the first to want to go home, was a joke among our friends. They'd tell him, bloody hell D, it's ten o'clock and you're still out, you ok?

Whereas I'm nearly 13 years older than him and would happily stay out partying til 4 or 5 in the morning given half a chance :o

Well.. it's been an eventful few days

I've been getting a lot of attention from a chap I met a few weeks ago at someoe's leaving do.. I've told him that I'm not interested in a relationship and besides, he's 10 years younger again ffs! But he keeps in regular contact, took me out the other night and I can't lie, it is nice to have someone spoil me a bit.

exp has apparently had an epiphany, realised what a twat he's been and is 'working on his faults' so that he can come home. I did notice the packet of condoms was missing from the bedside drawer tho, I'm guessing he took them with him, just in case he got lucky but he reckons he threw them in the bin because they're out of date. Odd thing is that I never noticed them in there, and they would catch your eye wouldn't they? lol

xp has been gone for two weeks now. He took my new camera that I hadn't even used yet, and the external hard drive which had all my music and photos etc on it he's throwing himself a bit of a pity party, says he realises what a nasty bastard he's been and he's 'working on his issues' blah blah blah

I would appear to have got myself a 'fwb'! I've had more sex in the last week than in the previous year and I'm having a lovely time of it. :o No commitment, just lots of fun times, going out lots with friends too.

It's soo nice to have a life again. It took me a long time to make the break but I'm so glad I finally did it.

crispy just bloody good for you !

isn't it funny how these dickheads finally realise how shit they have been, just around the time you start to move on

just laugh in his face, crispy, and enjoy all the lovely sex with your new friend

I hope your ex knows about it too

hehe thanks AF

I'm walking around like a cowboy with a face like this atm :o:o:o who knew I still had 12 hour sessions left in me lol. I had 0 sex drive with p and now all of a sudden I'm a rampant beast

ohh and I've lost 20lbs (fucked up metabolism) but I look bloody great too :o

Noooo ex doesn't know, there'd be bloodshed.

hehe, you are the second person I have chatted to in the last 24 hours who has discovered a new lease of sex life after moving on from a crap in bed partner

why do we hang onto these inadequate dickheads for so long ?

you can't see it at the time, but they bring you down in sooooo many ways x

woohoo for the other person you know too :o

I think the crapness creeps in so gradually you don't realise and then all of a sudden you're down, drained and on AD's and too weak to fight against it. Although my health isn't brilliant, I feel a helluva lot better, have more energy, more cheerful and I realise now that it was ex dragging me down, so my body sort of shut down as a defence or something.

I wouldn't have been ready to get rid until now I think.. if I had done it sooner I probably would have taken him back. The planets aligned and made now the right time.. and I'm bloody glad!

Thanks again to you and wwifn and hissy and all the lovely women on this board xxx

btw do you know what happened to motherlovebone? she was so lovely but I've not seen her post in well over a year I think.

no, I haven't seen her either

perhaps she namechanged ?

hope so

Crispy, you're only ready when you are ready.

But you have to have got out to know that...

I get slightly toasted every so often on threads where I back off a bit, and tell posters to plan and do it properly. If it's too hasty, or if we all storm in and wrench out a victim from the clutches of her abuser, she may very well go back.

We have to come to the decisions ourselves. I too saw the opportunity, a natural break and seized on it. Momentum gathers and it gets easier, even IF your entire RL support network bails on you... MN is FAB. I have more support from here than from anywhere else on earth tbh.

oh and this time next week, I'll probably be able to join in on the new lease of sex life chat... I've got a first sleep-over date planned at my boyfriend's house if I don't bottle it in the meantime