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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Congratulations Crispy

101 replies

NotANaturalGeordie · 20/03/2012 20:47

This is a new thread to offer support and appreciation to Crispy - it's many years since I left the ex-P and I am v happily married to DH now but I remember...

Bloody well done Grin

OP posts:
HoudiniHissy · 06/04/2012 18:35

Crispy, if he develops feelings for you slowly, that is OK.

If you are slightly behind in that process, but tell him, that is also OK.

Take things slowly. If it aint broke, don't bin it...

HoudiniHissy · 06/04/2012 18:38

He may also be saying about the feelings because he thinks it may be what you want to hear... your honesty may take the pressure off and you both might enjoy things more... and then who knows...

My first sleep over is on for tomorrow night... EEK! What am I supposed to DO?, preparation wise? Immac legs.. tick (natch!) pits too. Fanjo? a tidy trim to the borders? or Au naturel... ? Oh god....

CrispyHedgehog · 09/04/2012 00:03

oooh how did it go hissy???? :o

HoudiniHissy · 09/04/2012 10:45

he he he.... it went really well.

a night of many firsts actually... but no, we didn't actually do the do! Never have I felt so immediately at ease, so intimate and so relaxed in a man's company...

He even ran (and gave) me a bath, washed my hair etc.... Shock NEVER have I allowed anyone to do that, but it felt OK to do so!

He is amazing.

CrispyHedgehog · 09/04/2012 11:40

You deserve every second of it chick!

I hope this is just the first of many more happy times for you - very good sign that you felt relaxed enough to allow him to do something so personal.. in some ways a bath and hairwash is more intimate than sex.. my fwb did my hair one time too.. I found it ok, but my hair was a bit of a nest afterwards, lol

Now just sit back, relax and bask in the glow with lots of Wine and choccies xx

HoudiniHissy · 09/04/2012 12:07

ha ha... I didn't let him dry it.... Grin

CrispyHedgehog · 09/04/2012 19:03

No, I didn't either.. lol

EggyFucker · 09/04/2012 21:43

glad it went well, Hissy Smile

when is your next meet-up ?

HoudiniHissy · 09/04/2012 22:36

Dunno yet, next week I'd imagine. Grin

EggyFucker · 09/04/2012 22:44
Grin
CrispyHedgehog · 10/04/2012 15:26

ok.. all of a sudden I'm very very nervous.. xp has just lost another job.. which means he will have time on his hands to waste on me :(

HoudiniHissy · 10/04/2012 18:45

Crispy, no he won't. BE FIRM.

and come cheer me up cos it looks like BF has turned into a bit of a weirdo, and I have to bin him

EggyFucker · 10/04/2012 20:02

arghhhhhhhh

wtf is going on ?

EggyFucker · 10/04/2012 20:03

you two ok ?

mosp · 10/04/2012 20:20

Oh no Hissy - I'm gutted for you :(

Crispy - have you had any communication from ex? Really hope not...

HoudiniHissy · 11/04/2012 01:08

Dunno. He misunderstood (catastrophically) a text I sent him, went into Radio Silence, very cross, and I didn't even know why he was upset.

i do now. I kind of see his point, I would have been wounded too if I thought I saw what he thought he saw me send him.

I went to end it, I didn't want to, but I told him that Radio Silence is NOT on.

He called me, we talked some more, I told him not to do that to me again and that I would not panic.

We'll see. he's tried to make it up to me.

this is a very new relationship, we are only weeks into this and the max I get to see him is 2x a week. There is no soul searching so far, no deep and meaningfuls, it is just enjoying each other's company and spending time together. I love that, I NEED that.

I have a feeling that we now need to talk more and chat less. IYCWIM Grin

I'm reluctant to go too deep and searching, I'm enjoying the nice, I talk myself to death at therapy, I'm kinda bored with listening to myself go on about my stuff, the last place I want to drag that carcass of grief is into his life/space etc.

I have told him a few things about my 'past' but only stuff that is pertinent. I don't want to appear damaged, but by the same token I need to get across that I am sensitive in some areas, and not the all vanquishing person I may give the impression of being.

HoudiniHissy · 11/04/2012 01:09

I'm going to let him do the chasing again for a bit.

AnyFucker · 11/04/2012 10:18

oh dear, Hissy

"radio silence" could start to sound like too much hard work for you

let's hope he doesn't try that manipulation tactic again...but we've been here before, right ?

was your "misunderstod" text really that bad ?

CrispyHedgehog · 11/04/2012 11:56

oh hissy :( he seemed so promising too. Maybe it's a glitch and he'll turn out to be as lovely as he seemed at first. It's early days and maybe he got a bit scared too by the lovely time you had together and then the text message?

xp is currently throwng himself a pity party on fb lol. I managed to stop him bombarding me with texts by telling him that my phone fell into the bath and is now dead, so he has to make do with emails.. which because I no longer have a phone Wink only get checked when I go on the pc which isn't often, hehehe. I'm just concerned that now he's got time on his hands he'll start stalking me, turning up at the house etc.. and I really don't feel like dealing with that kind of shite. I felt quite panicky yesterday - not so much today thankfully.

In other news I'm having a blast, going out with friends, having people over and just generally having a life. I'd forgotten what it was like, and I'm very lucky to have had some very tolerant friends who've welcomed me back with open arms and copious amounts of wine and vodka :o

fwb is brilliant for my ego and my core muscles I don't think I'll be needing to join a gym after all. His friends all think I'm fabulous too (which of course I am) One of them is going to service my car and a couple of the others have offered to come do up my house on weekends which is really lovely of them but maybe a bit too much to accept.

I have a life!!!!!

HoudiniHissy · 11/04/2012 18:29

AF, as open as I am... I will PM you that story....

AnyFucker · 11/04/2012 18:30

okey-dokey

HoudiniHissy · 11/04/2012 18:38

I never even got the 'with benefits...

hey ho. NEXT.

Crispy, my spideysenses tell me that if I ignore his OVER-reaction at something I didn't even acually do, and his NOT apologising for giving me 3 days of silent treatment AND telling me off for calling him, AND over-exaggerating my number of calls etc. making me feel bad for trying to get to the bottom of what CLEARLY was, from the outset, a total misunderstanding.

He is a wrong-un. I am fairly sure. AF will, I'm sure, deliver her verdict on my decision in time and I doubt she will tell me to 'Stop being a Silly Goose and Go get him....' She will agree with my decision to leave it where it is.

I have emailed a rather tall canadian who wanted to go out with me just before I met this NowExBF... I have not met him yet, so we'll talk for a while and see what's what.

NEXT!

AnyFucker · 11/04/2012 20:07

keep 'em coming !

erm...

CrispyHedgehog · 12/04/2012 11:30

Sigh.. I won't be online for a bit.. being admitted to hopstal this afternoon :(

Hope all goes well hissy x

mosp · 12/04/2012 12:22

Hope you're ok crispy. Will you be in long? Pack a good book :)

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