Congratulations Crispy

[NotANaturalGeordie]

This is a new thread to offer support and appreciation to Crispy - it's many years since I left the ex-P and I am v happily married to DH now but I remember...

Bloody well done

hissy, and you know you can give my hand a little slap if I push too hard (I know I do, sometimes) x

oh, and good luck with the shag (he won't know what's hit him)

ooh Hissy!!!!! hold your nerve and go for it.. seriously! if you're anything like me you'll be crapping it but once you get going there'll be no stopping you and you'll wonder what you were worrying about.

So.. next week you'll be walking like a cowboy too with a face like :o

I was with ExP for over 10 years, with previous XH for 5... and god knows how long it was before I met the EX... But mid-20s...

BoyF thinks I'm sexy, fabulous and can't keep his hands off me... but Argh, but I feel hideous.

Rather think there will be 2 new Hampshire Cowboys next week... me AND him! I'm thinking the faces will be more like a mixure of and

AF, my fave love, I know you mean only well with everything you say to everyone, me included, so even if you are pushing hard, you do it with the best (and correct) intentions in the world, so if I think there is too much pushing of an OP, i say so, but you can't push me much harder than I'm already pushing myself.

go ride him 'em, cowgirl !

yee-haaaaah

< exits thread making horsey noises >

I was the same hissy, kept apologising and saying oh gawd your gonna leg it when my clothes come off.. but when it actually happened, he was lovely. Said he didn't know what I was worrying about, that I'm gorgeous just as I am etc etc.

I'm sure your chap will be the very same.

Sorry for the delay in replying, had an unexpected boinking session visitor yesterday :o

< whispers >

Just a tiny little flag for you ladies here

Take care of yourselves

Thanks AF. I read that yesterday.

Absolutely no chance of that happening with me - I've made it very clear that I don't want a relationship or any kind of romantic entanglement. Bit of an ego boost, hot nookie, fun while it lasts and then cya later ;)

Besides which.. my mother would have a coronary if she ever saw him, and I'm still a bit scared of my mum

hehe

I was thinking of how to say it without pissing on your chips, and that thread sums it up

yes it does.. but I don;t think that will happen to me. I can be quite clinical and I'm just viewing it as a nice distraction for a while. We had a good discussion before going any further and we're at different life stages, I don't ever want to have babies or marriage and he hasn't done that yet so he will at some point. We probably don't have compatible lifestyles (he's still at the pub most evenings with the lads, watching footie etc) another manchild basically, but he isn't half a good shag. I reckon maybe another month or so til the novelty wears off for both of us and that will be that.

ooh chips.. that's another thing I've been having lots of this last couple of weeks, lol.

but he isn't half a good shag

ooh he is... can easily go for 8-9 hours.. over and over again :o

the logistics are quite funny at times, he's 6'5 and I'm 5'0

sorry if that's tmi

wow

Mine is not a FWB. He's a Boyf. He's not apparently interested in a ONS, or a NSA relationship, he wants someone to be with, to share life with and to be a family with. He wants to settle down. I don't want to piss about, I don't want a casual relationship. I don't want to be internet dating again in 2 years time.

This is the one that presented me with a Pamper Kit when I met him 2 weeks after we started talking on t'internet. (Pics on my FB profile page AF if you look for it!)

He offers to pay for the babysitter, loves to take me out, calls, texts (not obsessively though) tells me how proud he is to go out with me, and how happy he is when I am with him. He's patient, says he will wait as long as I need, however long that is.

I'm going into this with my eyes open.

I know that it takes years for the best abusers to show their colours. I am watching for signs left right and centre. I wonder if I'll ever fully stop watching for warning signs... but I really hope that one day I can. It's early days, he's not met my DS, that won't happen until after the summer ideally.

I can't bin him for being nice to me, he's not doing a thing wrong atm. I will allow him to treat me in the caring, generous and loving way that he is doing and see how that feels. I need to get used to someone valuing me, I need to understand that I am of value. i need to learn to value myself better. I am working on this.

If I ever doubt myself, he is there to tell me that I'm great and that I have no need to question anything about myself, that I am fine the way I am.

I've never had a proper relationship with a healthy bloke before. While this relationship feels so different to anything I have had in the past, I am not scared, I am relaxed, comfortable, and in control.

If he does turn out to be a tosser, he will be gone in a heartbeat. I've done it before, I will do it again. Until then, I will enjoy the ride

Don't forget I have about 25 MNers and a couple of extras on a secret FB group.. they monitor my shenanigans...

Also my therapist too gets bounced ideas off, so I have proper RL support to analyse red flags with.

< holds hands up >

I know you are on the case, Hisspot

Could still be wrong though, couldn't I?

fucking hope not. I am overdue some nice.

You gotta take the leap (with your eyes wide open), right ?

Hissy, he sounds lovely :o

I'm nowhere near ready for anything like that. Frying pan, fire etc etc. I think I'm practicing a bit on this fwb guy.. fine tuning my red flag radar. I pay attention to things he says and does and really think about whether they're reasonable/appropriate or warnings.

Tis good.. I'm learning loads right now :o

I did some internet red flag tuning practice,

Got rid of a few odd balls!

Learned to stand up for myself and to call out twattish behaviour, to cut off contact and not go back on it cos I felt obligated.

To trust my instincts

Got over my hatred of compliments, (yeah, really!)

Got over my inability to actually look a man in the face, ditto talk to him

Got over my inability to call/text or arrange to meet a member of the opposite sex

learned to flirt (well more a case of remembering how to)

I had half a dozen on the go at one time, (internet only, no meets) but even that stressed me out to the point of not sleeping, so I binned a wad of them and was seriously thinking about stopping the whole thing, when along came my now BF.

One of the little gifts I got from him was a cutting with a quotation by Jane Austen (Sense and Sensibility)

?It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy;?it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.?

eeeek!!

fwb has admitted that he may be developing feelings....... I'm far from ready for that. If it was 6 months or a year down the line then maybe, cos I do like him and his company apart from the sex but not now.. no no no.

I'm going to have to send him on his way aren't I? :(

Just take it slowly.

Tell him how you are feeling and why. See what his reaction is. THEN decide.

< turns to page 144 of the AnyFucker manual >

Title:
I Told You So

Contents:
Be honest with him. Don't be pushed into something you are not ready for. If he whines and complains despite your complete transparency dump forthwith. Move onto next person.

You ladies have taught me well.

I did exactly that. Cards on table, explained everything. So far his reaction was good, understanding, appreciative of the honesty etc etc. We shall see if his actions back that up.. otherwise.. buhbye now