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Original poster

For LIKEATONNEOFBRICKS

888 replies

pollyblue · 16/03/2012 19:04

Hello,
just wondering how things were going with you and your situation?

If you're still not sure if the woman you fancy has any feelings for you, can I offer you (possibly!) a bit of hope.....I don't know if you remember but I was in a similar situation last year - despite me getting a bit of a 'vibe' from my crush nothing came of it, she told me she wasn't gay etc so that was that. We were still friends, but (afaik) nothing more.

Anyhoo I saw her today, unexpectedly, for the first time in about 3 months and blow me down, she asked me out. Albeit if was a tentative, polite ask but she did, nonetheless. I did a good goldfish impression, I was so surprised. Just going to wait now, not get too excited, and see if anything comes of it.

So - there is hope! Grin

OP posts:
Loveisthemessage · 31/03/2012 22:16

Canal Street, New York or Canal Street, Manchester?

Gay40 · 31/03/2012 22:20

Manchester. NYC is a bit far for a night out!

Loveisthemessage · 31/03/2012 22:21

Yes, thought so. Nice idea though.

AllotmentFreak · 31/03/2012 22:25

Evening :)

No news yet?

Loveisthemessage · 31/03/2012 22:28

Eerie silence.

Loveisthemessage · 31/03/2012 22:34

So in the spirit of "all of the journey, none of the peril" banter, what kind of reaction did you all have from friends/family when they found out your penchant for the ladies?

AllotmentFreak · 31/03/2012 22:40

None, was many years ago and hasn't happened since.

Internet playing up if I have to switch it off once more I will scream, this might be my last post tonight, will have to catch up with any news tomorrow.

Original poster
pollyblue · 31/03/2012 22:42

I'm not exactly giving it large tonight either - scoffing chocolate and watching a documentary on Jonathan Miller.

OP posts:
Original poster
pollyblue · 31/03/2012 23:50

Loveis, none of my family know, I don't think it's any of their business.

Most of my friends from years back know and it's never been a issue (it helps that my closest friends are gay). All friends I've made in the last few years assume I'm straight. I only told one, who I thought I was close to and would be fine about it - it came up when she realised that I had the hots for WIQ. Because she thought I was straight she took it very badly (she'd met and taken an instant dislike to WIQ which didn't help) - I am damaging my children apparently - and that was the end of that friendship.

So for purely selfish reasons I was really glad when Likeatonne wrote her first post about her crush, because I don't have anyone in RL I can talk to about my crush.

OP posts:
Crushinghard · 01/04/2012 00:08

Okay, I was going to start a new thread for this but my fingers were paralysed with fear at the reaction I'd get, so I'm hoping you won't mind me trying to slip it under the radar here.
Quick recap, massive crush on Unobtainable Woman. Told DH about the crush and that I think I'm a lesbian in Jan. I don't think he entirely believes it but he told me to go and explore it if I feel like I need to but not to tell him about it. Pretty sure he thinks if I actually am ever with a woman I won't like it.
So, crush is subsiding because UW is simply never going to be interested in me (she's very much attached). I have no opportunity to 'explore' this side of myself, except for the fact that this summer I will be doing a course in Brighton for one week. I don't know if I have it in me to cheat on DH, I suspect not, but theoretically this would be the ideal time to find out what it's like, physically, with a woman. Of course there are many, many obstacles in my way - I'm not exactly a catch - and a one night stand with a woman wouldn't necessarily make things any clearer, but theoretically the possibility is intriguing.
Go on, tell me I'm mental to even consider it.

Original poster
pollyblue · 01/04/2012 00:13

Crushing have you fancied a woman before Unobtainable Woman, or is your crush on her a bit of a bolt from the blue?

OP posts:
Crushinghard · 01/04/2012 00:16

Never like this, but yes, have always had an interest in women since teen years. It's only looking back now that I realise I have fancied far more women than men.

Original poster
pollyblue · 01/04/2012 00:28

I've just re-read your post of March 28th, where you talk about your husband being bisexual.
In a way you've got it made - a fantastic relationship with a man you love, who is accepting of the possibility you might be gay and has said, ok go and explore that.
Only you know whether what I think of as a bit of a Bloomsbury set-up would really make you happy - stay with your husband and keep the happy home you have, but have a lover on the side. Do you think you would be comfortable if your husband also decided to explore the other side of his sexuality?

OP posts:
Crushinghard · 01/04/2012 00:39

No, I wouldn't be happy with that as a set up. Ultimately I am monogamous and want to be in a faithful relationship with one person. Although I love my husband very much, it is not in a sexual way. I want a sexual relationship with someone and suspect I would only be happy with a woman.

Original poster
pollyblue · 01/04/2012 00:44

Well, there's your answer then! Smile

No, I don't think you're mental to consider it, and it sounds like you've thought through what it could mean for you and your marriage.

OP posts:
Crushinghard · 01/04/2012 00:50

Hmm, but I could be wrong!
I'll see how I'm feeling by the summer, hopefully my thoughts will have clarified and I will have more confidence in a decision. Thanks for the input.

Gay40 · 01/04/2012 01:16

I think I have had it pretty easy, all things considered. No coming out story, family and friends always knew from the start.

Loveisthemessage · 01/04/2012 08:13

Morning all m"o"msnetters?! Damn - missed these postings last night as passed out (not from booze, mind). Crushing - I learnt an interesting fact that if you have an affair with a woman while married it doesn't count as adultery. Quite archaic that the law doesn't recognise same-sex sex when you're in wedlock but there you go. Might make you feel a tiny bit better. Sounds like you need to explore that side of you. As for sex with a woman, in my humble opinion, it's far and away better than with any bloke. I've told a few female friends who have been very understanding (and a tad envious) but I know some would be shocked to the core (probably too uptight and trad to cope with such a midlife switch).

Crushinghard · 01/04/2012 13:22

Whether or not it's technically adultery I'd still see it as cheating! I've never had a one night stand though and don't know if it would just leave me feeling worse. G40 you do sound pretty lucky!

Gay40 · 01/04/2012 16:59

I didn't realise it wasn't legally adultery either. Thank god, else I might have been summoned to court to explain my part in one or two divorces Hmm

Loveisthemessage · 01/04/2012 21:07

Gay -- so was MrsG40 married when she met you?
Crushing - your husband sounds like he has given you a pink ticket !

Crushinghard · 01/04/2012 21:38

Yeah, he has, but I think he'd still be really hurt if I actually did anything. Also, I'm really not sure I could keep it to myself if I decided to stay with him. I can't help but tell the truth sometimes, even if it's not in my best interest. I have to think long and hard about it.

Gay40 · 01/04/2012 22:24

No, she wasn't. But had been very straight previously.

Loveisthemessage · 01/04/2012 22:37

So how did she handle the switch? With gay abandon?

Gay40 · 01/04/2012 22:41

Pretty much Grin