I'm so sorry to hear about your situation Starling. Unfortunately I'm in a very similiar position at the moment. My husband of 12 years left the marital home at 10.05pm last Sunday when myself and our two children were in bed. Not warning, nothing ran out in the night the coward he obviously is. The last week has been hell. i've had to tell the children because he only wanted to do it over the phone or in a pub, not in the safe environment of their home.
Apparently he had met some3one on line that he had connected with emotional - nothig sexual had occurred until after he left, or so he is saying. Over the last week I've heard nothing but lies and more lies. He has left the home in in such a state that part is uninhabitable. Environmental Health have been in contact due to the number of vehicles is has left in the garden, carport and other areas that we own surrounding the property. Since leaving I have found out that my wiring is condemned, the oven and hob are a danger to myself and my children. Cant have a bath unless a plunger is used to get plugs out. Had no hot water, could only have heating on for 30 minutes at a time, only flush toilets if someone contorlled the stop cock. Its been a nightmare. But he is living with someone and 'needing time to think what he needs over' whlst I live with two children in disarray.
Found we didnt have any contents or buildings insurance because he hadnt got round to setting up a new policy, bills were out of control because he hadnt got round to getting new quotes - I would have done it but evey bill was in his name at the time, obviously they arent now! Joint mortgage so thats ok.
Apparently will leave his income in my account for the next three months so I can arrange reapirs - what makes him think I can afford them now he has done? Then I'm to live off benefits - I've already established I'm only entitled to 10.43 per month. This is just so unfair, I really dont understand what I've done. he doesnt understand that our children deserve the truth rather than his web of lies which he now stating - I left beuuase we were arguing, 1 argument one night last week.
Visited children after I arranged it - 1 hour, then spoke to me for 2.5 hours, mean at the state but got better. I asked him to come back explained I still loved him and he said he would seriously think about it. He said that he still loved me but didnt think we could work it out because he has left.
Cant tell my family that I want him home bacuse they cant stand him, but I cant help the way I feel. its been made worse becauseof comments he keeps making on facebook which mean I then have to fiedl emails, messages and calls from joint friends and work colleagues. I know I'm having to do all his dirty work, clearing his stuff because he told me to, making calls left right and centre because that's what I'm expected to do.
refuses to give contactable address and often truns mobile phone off - so even in an emergancy I wouldnt be able to contact him.
cant sleep, havent eaten since our initial argument on 2nd march. i know deep down he isnt coming back but my children are young and own has AS. One hates their father, the other is in limbo becuase of promises father has made and subsequently not kept.
Nothing in my world is the same. I just dont know what I should be saying or feeling. Sick to the stomach of crying on my own. the pain is unbearable.
Please excuse the mistakes its just that really cant think straight. spoke this morning and asked if the comments he made yesterday about coming back were true or yet another one of the catelogue of lies he has told this week. Chidlren are lashing out at each other. But its not helped by their father telling them that he left because I was arguing rather than the truth that he was having an affair. There were several incidents this morning and I made him tell the truth but its still only part - now telling the children he is sharing a house with another woman. I just want to know where we all stand. Not lie after lie