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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP Left tonight.

125 replies

LonelyNight · 06/03/2012 21:55

I have name changed because he knows my username.
He said he needed space and wanted to go for a couple of days and I told him if he went that would be it. After all, if I want space I can't just go away for a few days can I?

I feel so sad right now and am currently downing what's left of the booze in the house, DS is at his GM's.

OP posts:
Warmwoollenmittens · 06/03/2012 21:57

Hi - take care of yourself. Always wish I had something clever to say but just didn't want you to be alone.

LiarsWife · 06/03/2012 21:59

Sorry to hear that. have you managed to eat anything? x

fabwoman · 06/03/2012 22:04

Have you just cut your nose off to spite your face if you didn't want it to be over?

swallowedAfly · 06/03/2012 22:07

sorry! if you can put a lid on the booze, have a lot of water and go to bed. hangover won't help tomorrow.

glad GM has taken ds for the night - try and use it for some sleep if you can.

what brought it on? was it a surprise or has it been building up? what reason did he give?

LonelyNight · 06/03/2012 22:08

Fab I think I did but my previous relationship started with him wanting some space and turned into 4 years of him deciding that he wanted space everytime he wanted to go fuck someone else see his friends. I guess I'm still a bit paranoid about that happening again even though that was a long time ago and a completely different person.

Thanks LiarsWife and WarmWoolenMittens. I have had breadsticks and cheese today so not much.

OP posts:
PufftyMagicDragon · 06/03/2012 22:10

so sorry for you :( agree with swallowedafly

it may help short term, but the booze will make it worse and can lead to a horrible downwards spiral. try put it away, have a cuppa and something to eat an try rest. easier said then done. you got any friends that can come over?

fabwoman · 06/03/2012 22:12

I can see how the past affects you though. I dumped a lad for the stupidest reason becaue my previous boyfriend had been a nobhead. I wasn't having it again and it wasn't even the case. Try and see him as a different person and if you want to work things through talk to him.

Fairenuff · 06/03/2012 22:12

I agree with swallowedafly, put a lid on the alcohol or tip it away. Have a drink of water or cup of tea. Maybe a piece of toast or biscuit. You won't be able to think straight and you will feel horrid tomorrow.

This might not mean it's over, but how do you feel about the relationship? What has led to this tonight?

rightchoice · 06/03/2012 22:13

Sorry you feel sad Lonley. How long have you been together, do you have DC.

LonelyNight · 06/03/2012 22:17

We've only been together a few years. We have a 6mo DS.
We've had a fair few arguments recently but I thought we were okay and just having a rough patch. Arguments are mostly because he's a lazy shit and has let me do mostly everything while he stays on his computer and doesn't look for a job (lost his to someone willing to work for less).

I think it's too late to put the alcohol away as most of it is gone now but if anything I'm just enjoying the first wee drink I've had in a good while! (DP doesn't drink at all so don't ever get the chance).

Fab It makes you develop a complex, not good. :(

OP posts:
mojitomania · 06/03/2012 22:17

OP I feel your pain. I've just told my dp not to come back until he's ready to talk like an adult. Is he using this as a weapon (as in the silent treatment) to make you back down? as i feel mine does?

mojitomania · 06/03/2012 22:18

Im also on the vodka Grin

MadAboutHotChoc · 06/03/2012 22:18

Do you think he is fucking someone else? Looks like history is repeating itself Sad

Take care of yourself.

hisgentletouch · 06/03/2012 22:18

I think a few days is perfectly reasonable for anyone to take out for themselves, and it's strange to end things becaues of this, unless htere are other bigger reasons! of course it should apply to both partners! why do you say that you couldn't just go away for two days?

LonelyNight · 06/03/2012 22:19

Now he's posting what he's listening to on FB, all fecking sad songs. He used to do this when we started out, posted all these songs that reminded him of me.

He fucking left me! Why is he getting all depressed. Angry Fecking wankety wanker.

Apologies about the language... Blush I'm not normally so hostile!

OP posts:
hisgentletouch · 06/03/2012 22:20

Mad why do you have to be so crude, and why put thoughts into OP's head? he might just want to be by himself, some people need their solitude occasionally!

rightchoice · 06/03/2012 22:22

I guess it depends where he is - there arn't too many guys who need space, who use the time and space when the walk out for quiet reflection! Do you know where he is and who he wants the space with???

LonelyNight · 06/03/2012 22:22

Mojito I think he is tbh.
HotChoc No, he never leaves the house!
hhisgentletouch Normally I would agree but he gets loads of space because all he ever does is sit in the bedroom on his laptop doing fuck all. I can't just go away because we have a 6mo and DP is hopeless with him and barely bothers.

OP posts:
mojitomania · 06/03/2012 22:22

Blimey OP you could be me right now. I have resorted to some wicked swear words recently Grin They turn it round and say its our fault huh coz we swore or some sort of shit.

hisgentletouch · 06/03/2012 22:23

he hasn't left you OP, you told him not to come back. But if you think he's complete shit, no wonder he wants to stay away an dremind you of your previous attitude with these songs! he's not unfaithful thou, is he!

LonelyNight · 06/03/2012 22:23

RightChoice He's at his parents house, he would never cheat he's far too lazy!

OP posts:
mojitomania · 06/03/2012 22:24

Know the patter rather well now (still not strong enough of ditch him but getting there). You tell them how crap they are being and they go off and sulk in a very unhappy way.

hisgentletouch · 06/03/2012 22:25

I meant you could go away with the child. Maybe he needs change of scenery as routine sent him into some coma of doing nothing. Sometimes it can help.

mojitomania · 06/03/2012 22:26

Umm, sorry hisgentlytouch but what are you saying? The OP has a small child and her partner is a lazy sloth.

LonelyNight · 06/03/2012 22:26

Mojito Loving coming up with some mad sweary insults right now, I have no imagination though!

hisgentletouch He shouldn't be allowed to sit and do nothing all day everyday and then decide he wants space for a couple of days and waltz back in as if nothing has happened. I do everything for him. But you are right, he's not unfaithful, he's good in that way. :)

OP posts: